Steerpike

For some time now Mr S has been concerned about the assorted dregs gathering around the House of Commons. Badly dressed, often heckling, always angry and rarely lucid. No, not the SNP's parliamentary party but rather the various bands of demonstrators who seem to congregate outside the gates of the Palace of Westminster to protest a smorgasbord of political causes. While most like Steve 'Stop Brexit' Bray are a harmless nuisance, some elements have demonstrated a nastier side, as Sir Keir Starmer found to his cost in February. And today, while ostensibly protesting against the Online Harms Bill, another unfortunate MP found himself at the centre of a less than pleasant mob.

The blessed Nicola has been out on the campaign trail in recent days, spreading the good news and decrying that wicked Boris Johnson's non-believing band of heretic Tories. The bad king's woes down in London have proved a godsend to Saint Nicola the nationalist, ever eager to lead her people to that land of milk and honey otherwise known as an independent Scotland. Naturally the sinless Sturgeon was among the first to call for Johnson to quit over partygate, preaching how 'basic decency' meant he should go for breaking lockdown rules. 'But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!' For just four days after demanding the heathen Johnson go, it seems the good queen Nic also defied the holy laws of Covid herself.

It is said in Westminster that Boris Johnson likes to surround his 5ft 6in Chancellor with tall ministers to make him feel small. And up at Holyrood, Nicola Sturgeon has clearly taken a leaf from the Prime Minister's book, judging by the ministers with whom she surrounds herself. After suffering a reversal at last year's elections, Sturgeon was forced to take the Scottish Greens into government: a marriage of political convenience but one that no doubt reaffirms Humza Yousaf's faith in his own intellectual prowess. For the Greens are led by a duumvirate of Lorna Slater and Patrick Harvie, a man diminutive both in size and in stature.

The Tory task at the next election is enormous. No party in the democratic age has ever won a fifth consecutive term in office and bruising battles over Brexit and Covid mean the Conservatives will have a tough ask next time out. Boris Johnson's team still have two years left in office but inside No. 10 minds are already turning to the looming clash with the Starmer army. On what fertile ground can the forthcoming general election be fought and won by the Tories? Unfortunately for the bright young things of CCHQ, it looks like Labour's traditional weak spot on 'law and order' has now been nullified. There were hopes that Sir Keir's record as a QC – defending all kinds of unseemly sorts – might make him susceptible to jibes of being soft on crime or terror.

It's been a pretty awful week for Rishi Sunak. In the space of seven days, his wife was revealed to be a non-domiciled resident, average wages fell by the highest sum since 2013, he admitted having a US Green Card until last year and UK GDP grew by just 0.1 per cent. Oh, and there was the small matter of the Metropolitan police fining him for a breach of lockdown laws. In Westminster, the impact of all that on his political capital is still sinking in. But in the country, it seems that the mind of the public is pretty clear: Rishi's star is on the wane.  For every voter who wants Sunak to stay as a Chancellor, two more want him to go.

This evening the Johnsons have apologised for the fines dished out by the Metropolitan police earlier today. First up was Carrie Johnson who it appears organised the infamous birthday party in June 2020 that led to her husband and next-door neighbour both being fined. Whoops! A spokesperson for the First Lady of Downing Street said that: 'Mrs Johnson has paid a Fixed Penalty Notice (FPN) relating to a gathering on the afternoon of 19 June 2020. Whilst she believed that she was acting in accordance with the rules at the time, Mrs Johnson accepts the Met Police’s findings and apologises unreservedly.' She has now paid her FPN fine. Then it was the turn of Boris who admitted he had been served with a FPN – believed to be a fine worth £50.

Crispin Blunt has had quite the 24 hours. The Tory MP yesterday made an extraordinary intervention in the case of Imran Ahmad Khan, the Wakefield backbencher found guilty of the sexual assault of a 15-year-old boy. Blunt decided to release a highly unusual and hyberbolic statement which lambasted the conviction as a 'dreadful miscarriage of justice' incited by 'lazy tropes about LGBT+ people' based in 'Victorian era prejudice.

Who's out to get Rishi? That's the question allies of the Chancellor are asking after a week of revelations about the Richmond MP. They include the non-domiciled tax status of his wife, Akshata Murthy, Sunak's decision to hold a US green card and pay tax in America for his first 18 months in No. 11 and his own alleged links to tax havens. There have also been leaks over briefing battles, including the Treasury's opposition to insulating homes in the energy strategy and a proposal to double the energy rebate. The timing of such stories – coinciding with Boris Johnson emerging from the darkest period of his premiership – has raised suspicions about Johnson loyalists seeking revenge for Sunak's lukewarm support during partygate.

It seems that taking gratuitous swipes at J.K. Rowling has become something of a competition for liberal broadsheets on both sides of the pond. First, the New York Times took a potshot at the Harry Potter creator for its new marketing campaign trumpeting 'independent journalism.' And now the Guardian – keen to prove that, it too, is achingly right on – has published a piece which implies that Rowling's views on same-sex spaces are somehow more controversial than domestic abuse. Grim. The latest jibe at Britain's greatest living writer came in a piece detailing the controversies around the production of the Fantastic Beasts film.