Simon Hoggart

Spectator mini-bar offer

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The name of Robert Parker, the oenological sage of Maryland, is not often invoked by British merchants, who tend to sniff that he is too keen on overflavoured wines that lack subtlety and finesse. On the other hand, when he gives a wine an over-the-top rave, they often find they can swallow their disdain. Take this ‘First Growth’ Cabernet Sauvignon 2000 (4) from Coonawarra, made by the Parker Estate (no relation). ‘Stunning ...a super wine ...dark, opaque, ruby/purple coloured, sensational nose of wood, fruit and herbs ... full-bodied, superbly concentrated, well-balanced, just beginning to unfold. Can easily compete with the best of Bordeaux and California.’ It is indeed a wonderful wine — rich, meaty, delicious to drink now but will keep for some time.

AUGUST WINE CLUB

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Spectator readers are famous for being richer than most, which is why the magazine carries ads for cashmere hip flasks and handbags made from the toenails of hand-reared angora rabbits. Nonetheless, we all like a bargain, and I do my best to seek these out. Sometimes merchants will have too much of a wine which they bought because it was absolutely delicious but, lacking a famous name, didn’t sell as well as it deserved. So they offer it to us, sometimes at ludicrously low prices. We have two very good examples here from the famous old house of El Vino in Fleet Street, known as ‘Pomeroys’ to Rumpole fans. On the other hand, sometimes a wine is enormously popular, and in that case they don’t offer a discount, as with our two ‘house’ wines.

Misleading the public

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I was fascinated to watch the low-key struggle the other day between BBC and ITV executives, and members of the Commons culture committee. The television people said they were appalled by the chicanery revealed in various programmes — premium-rate phone-ins, the show about the Queen, for example — and would take urgent steps to make sure it never happened again. Mark Byford, the BBC’s deputy director-general, seemed to be in a state of anguish. One member of the committee said afterwards that he feared he might demonstrate his contrition by slitting his wrists in front of them. The MPs were rather sceptical, especially about the BBC’s decision to make 16,000 employees attend a course to teach them how to avoid misleading the public.

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 28 July 2007

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I’ve just been sent an order form for the 2006 Château Pétrus, now being held in bond. It works out at £917 a bottle (or, say, £15 a sip.) I’ve just been sent an order form for the 2006 Château Pétrus, now being held in bond. It works out at £917 a bottle (or, say, £15 a sip.) Clearly things are going swimmingly for the great names of Bordeaux — and indeed Burgundy. In the rest of France things are a little tougher. Which is why I always recommend people to try French wines from outside the most famous areas. To compete in world markets they have to try much harder, and the result is that if you are prepared to experiment, you can find wines as good as any from the New World and at very decent prices.

The good and the bad

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These are difficult times for the BBC. The fine for the Blue Peter phone-in fraud was, in its way, as big a shock as the famous vandalising of its garden. The silly Crowngate affair in which what they claimed was the Queen staging an angry walk-out turned out to be her staging an angry walk-in. And some ratings have been very poor. The drama True, Dare, Kiss broadcast last week got a miserable 3.2 million viewers, one of the smallest ever Thursday peak-time audiences on BBC1. Over on BBC2, Alastair Campbell’s diaries rose from 1.3 million viewers on Wednesday to a hardly impressive 1.5.

Insider Dealing

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It’s a commonplace these days for satirists and their fans to claim that they have an unnerving ability to know how politicians work behind the scenes. ‘Someone from No. 10 said, “How on earth do you get it spot-on, every time? It’s uncanny.”’ For instance, some years ago Rory Bremner was playing Tony Blair. There was a bowl of fruit on the set, so he picked up an apple and started munching. Apparently Blair (I’m sure you remember him; tall chap, rather unnerving smile) did the same thing in real life, and this convinced the ever paranoid team in Downing Street that there was a mole spying on them. Bremner insists that there wasn’t; eating an apple just seemed the logical thing to do.

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 30 June 2007

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The weather may be bizarre at the moment, but when the sun comes it seems particularly warm, which is when you will crave these excellent wines. They have been selected for summer drinking by Amanda Skinner of Lay & Wheeler, one of our most popular merchants. They are perfect for parties, barbecues, picnics or as aperitifs, even for drinking indoors while the rain lashes against the windows. All are discounted on L&W’s list price. The full title of our first is (draw breath here) Prosecco dei Colli Trevigiani Frizzante Nera Spago, De Faveri, Veneto, n.v. (1). I would translate but we don’t have the space. All you need to know is that it is a luscious Prosecco, full of soft moussy bubbles and with a lovely vibrant flavour.

Redemptive power

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Sex, the City and Me (BBC2, Sunday) might just as well have been called ‘All Men Are Bastards — based on a true story’. Sarah Parish played Jess, a horrible person, a fund manager who is better at her job than all the men around her. She was offensive to them, offhand to her husband — a music journalist, which here signifies: ‘When men aren’t being bastards they’re so drippy they’re a waste of space anyway.’ She is rude to waitresses, which, in the simple code used in most television drama, identifies ‘truly horrible’. Then she gets pregnant, and through the redemptive power of motherhood becomes a very nice person with a clear moral purpose.

JUNE WINE CLUB

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Here’s a very exciting offer. We start with two wines which are phenomenal value. They are from the Pierre Henri estate in southern France. This is a big enterprise (they have just taken an order for 50,000 cases from Royal Thai airlines) and you might expect the wines to be bland and mass-produced: alcoholic grape juice. Not so. The Syrah 2006 is plump and fruity, and the Chardonnay 2006 is fresh, lively and packed with flavour. There’s perfume provided by the 5 per cent Viognier that M. Henri adds when nobody is looking. These wines are sold under a different label in one of our best-known chains for £5.90 a bottle, and people still feel they’ve got a bargain.

Tasteless memorial

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Channel 4’s Diana: The Witnesses in the Tunnel (Wednesday) was, as promised, pretty tasteless stuff, though not for the reasons we were told. There are those who still believe the princess’s death was not an accident, and that the royal family, Lord Stevens and both French and British governments are part of a huge conspiracy to cover up the fact that this lovely, innocent woman was coldly done to death to prevent her from marrying a Muslim. Absolute nonsense, of course. I’ve done some work on why people come to believe irrational but beguiling theories. What these wacky beliefs have in common is an enormous amount of data, a cascade of facts and quasi-facts.

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 2 June 2007

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Fashions in wine change, like everything else, so it was inevitable that when New World wines swept all before them, Europe would learn to follow the trend. Which is why in southern France, northern Spain and northern Italy these days you find much more highly flavoured wines — ‘fruit bombs’, some cynics call them — though often still showing some of the strength and backbone that comes with a less evenly sunny climate. In the past, the subtlety could be more important than the flavour; now there’s a better balance. And in turn the New World has copied that.

May Wine Club

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Order your wines by email. Now, pay attention. We have a lot of wines to get through and not much time, so if you don’t mind, I’ll crack on. All the wines come from the famous City firm of Corney & Barrow, and almost all are generously discounted. And there is the Brett-Smith Indulgence, which knocks off £6 per case if you buy two for delivery inside the M25, three cases outside. You will find many bargains here. I have selected (and marked) two mixed cases, one for summer drinking, the other a luxury case for any time. But first, C&B’s marvellous house wines, perfect for parties and everyday quaffing. The white is zesty and lemony, the red warm and full. At the pitiful price of £55.20 you can bump up your order to qualify for the Indulgence.

Miracle worker

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Now and again someone recommends a programme, and you’re very glad they did because it’s the kind of show that television ought to make often and only rarely does. I Believe in Miracles (BBC2, Tuesday), a This World documentary, was like that — just the right length at 40 minutes, and as packed with good things as a Christmas cake. The producers followed Ken, confined to his wheelchair by strokes, and his daughter Susan, who had given up work to care for him, but who suffered herself from debilitating migraines. They joined a coach party from Garstang, Lancashire, to Lourdes, where Dad hoped to walk again. The journey was horrible, starting at midnight from home, and Lourdes is a tourist hell, being full of catchpenny caffs and souvenir shops.

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 5 May 2007

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Order you wines online. Stone, Vine and Sun, a modestly sized operation near Winchester, keeps winning awards as the best independent wine merchant, and I’m not surprised. There’s a nimbleness to these smaller companies; chaps (or chapesses) whizz off to investigate some little half-hidden vineyard, and because they need less stock than the giants, they can snaffle undiscovered treasures without the fear of running out during the life of the list. And it helps having people who really know their wine and can sniff a bargain like a pig finding truffles. This month’s Mini-bar contains four of their best parcels. Three come from southern France which, as I have often said, now produces some of the most delicious and best-value wines in the world. Take M.

April Wine Club

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Order your wines by email. Summer is almost upon us. Ah, the cancerous barbecue smoke drifting from next door’s garden, the stinking, sweaty trains and buses, the yobs with stomachs spilling over their shorts, the never-ending football season. Sorry, didn’t mean that. It was very negative. What I meant to remind you of was the murmur of bees, the hum of gentle alfresco conversation in the sunshine, picnics under the dappled light of an apple tree, the scent of flowers and newly cut grass as dusk begins to fall. That’s what this offer is about. These are wines for summer, wines for those lovely days when you can eat every meal outdoors, when your guests come for lunch and mysteriously, sleepily, stay for supper.

Cooling off

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Lots of new comedy this week. Mitchell and Webb are a puzzle. They had a successful sketch slot, which followed the first runs of Peep Show. Then they turned up in the ads for Apple computers. One of them (I forget which) is supposed to use an Apple Mac and the other a boring old PC. Apparently, Apple users are free, artistic, untrammelled by the petty rules of others. PC users are wage slaves, crawling their dreary way towards retirement. Some people who think themselves cool regarded this as the single least-cool commercial campaign ever. It was held to have demolished Mitchell and Webb’s own carefully burnished image of cool. Even at my advanced years, I could see that it was terminally naff.

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 7 April 2007

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Order your wines by email Prestige Agencies is part of the admirable Playford Ros company in North Yorkshire. They sell some wonderful wines from the world’s boutique vineyards, often made in tiny quantities, all created with the kind of loving attention you just don’t get in supermarket booze. Because the wineries are so small they are rarely well-known, so, like a drug dealer lurking outside the school gates, Andrew Firth has offered Spectator readers some remarkable bargains in the hope of getting you hooked. I think you will be as impressed and delighted as I was. The two whites come from Foxes Island, which is a dry ridge in the heart of the celebrated Marlborough region of New Zealand.

March Wine Club

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Order your wines by email There are many ways of buying cheap wine, though fewer means of buying good cheap wine. Supermarkets often have bargains. Recently, however, I went to a tasting by a very downmarket chain — they had Châteauneuf du Pape for £6.99 and a Chablis for £5.99. These tasted of nothing, and I was amazed at lax appellation laws which allowed them through. You can go over to France, and that works fine if you want quantity rather than quality. In a highly competitive market, the better French wines tend to be sold abroad or else by specialist merchants; the hypermarchés frequently sell stuff you would not strip paint with. Or you can go for one of those apparently amazing ‘£40 off per case — our special introductory offer!

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 10 March 2007

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This week’s mini-bar is from a new company, titled in the modern fashion, FromVineyardsDirect.com. It’s been set up by David Campbell, who is the publisher of the Everyman Library, and Esme Johnstone, one of the founders of Majestic Wine Warehouses. They have made up a very short list — fewer than 20 choices, though this will no doubt increase — and offer them all online or by post direct from the growers. It’s impossible to compare prices precisely, since these vary wildly according to who’s selling, but David reckons he charges roughly 20 per cent less than you would pay other merchants. Virtually all their wines are French classics, and for this mini-bar offer I have chosen some splendid bottles from Bordeaux, Burgundy and the Rhone.

Man with a mission

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I used to write a few political profiles in my time, and the one thing I always hoped was that the subject would refuse to co-operate. You had to offer to interview them, naturally, otherwise there might be legal difficulties. But you prayed they would say no. That rarely happened. When I did see them, I would try to concentrate on the sort of detail that can be hard to come by — where they spent their honeymoon, why they had that row with X, favourite television programme and so forth. What I usually got was the elder statesman in relaxed and contemplative mode, casting his wise, benign eye over the political scene at great and tedious length. The good stuff invariably came from friends, colleagues and enemies.