Simon Hoggart

February Wine Club

From our UK edition

Order your wines by email I’m pleased to say it has become an annual tradition: our February offer of the new vintage of Chateau Musar with Lay & Wheeler. It has been a tremendous success with Spectator readers. The wine won’t be in the shops until May, but it can be shipped to your door a month earlier, and at a reduced price. This year’s crop is the 2000. The red is, perhaps, slightly more austere than usual, closer to a fine Bordeaux, but it will age gratifyingly well for a very long time. And you can drink it with great pleasure now: all that soft, velvety, peppery, spicy, earthy, even chocolaty quality is already there in spades. The white has become increasingly popular too.

Something for nothing

From our UK edition

I caught The Antiques Roadshow (BBC1, Sunday) almost by accident the other day. It was one of those moments when you’re too lazy to turn the television off, you flip through the numbers on the remote, and there it is. Comfort viewing for Sunday evenings. It is 28 years old now, almost an antique itself. ‘You can just see where someone has added a new presenter, but it’s an Aspel, so it’s in keeping with the period. And look at the workmanship on those camera angles. You don’t often find quality like that on television these days...’ The programme became iconic 11 years after it began, when the BBC took it off to show Nelson Mandela leaving prison. The switchboard was overwhelmed.

January Wine Club

From our UK edition

The festive season is long over, so it’s time to stock up on less expensive but delicious wines that will be gluggable through the cheerless winter months. Last year one of our most successful offers was with Averys of Bristol, who offered terrific discounts, largely to reduce stocks of wines that were first-rate but weren’t flying off the list. They have done the same again, and some of the reductions are boggling. It’s the perfect opportunity to refill your post-Yuletide cellar at a very modest price. You might get the sample case, try them all, and order more of the ones you like best. The offer will be open for five weeks, so there’s plenty of time. First up is the La Tours des Dames Viognier, from the Pays d’Oc, 2005. This is a tremendous find.

Powerful but grim

From our UK edition

This being the Spectator’s bumper Christmas issue, we asked the television companies for a few seasonal preview discs. There wasn’t much ‘ho, ho, ho!’ about any of them. Some were merely grim: Three Kings at War (Channel 4, Thursday), for example, chronicled how three cousins — George V, Czar Nicholas and Kaiser Bill — helped, through their own stupidity, to bring about the death of millions. Channel 4 also offered a three-part set — The True Voice of Rape (Monday), The True Voice of Prostitution (Tuesday) and The True Voice of Murder (Wednesday). Uncork the eggnog now! To be fair, The True Voice series contained powerful material. The problem was that — to protect the victims — their words were voiced by actors.

After the tsunami

From our UK edition

There was much pre-publicity around Tsunami — The Aftermath (BBC1, Tuesday) implying that the second anniversary of the disaster was a little early to turn it into drama, and that the film would be distressing and demeaning for the victims’ families. I could see the point, though what struck me most was that with more than a quarter of a million people dead, there were enough tragic stories available without having to invent more. It was as if the producers had thought, well, there is plenty of grief and anguish out there, but it’s not quite the grief and anguish we’re looking for. Let’s bring in some scriptwriters to give us tailor-made grief and anguish, neatly trimmed to fit into our format and make the best use of our expensive cast.

Christmas Wine Club

From our UK edition

Click here to send an order by email This is our last Christmas offer for 2006, and contains a great many wines, starting with Corney & Barrow’s house white1 and house red6. Both are highly popular with Spectator readers, being inexpensive and quite delicious. The white is lemony and zestful, the red soft, mellow and possessing real depth. They are both — like all wines in this offer — discounted and, if Adam Brett-Smith will excuse me, they are an excellent way of padding your order to qualify for the fabled Brett-Smith Indulgence. This year we are offering a mixed case of the two, just right for a smallish party or to have on hand for the holiday period. The next two wines are hardly more expensive and are both remarkable value.

Genuine knowledge

From our UK edition

New Hall women always struck male Cambridge undergraduates as being a bit otherworldly, living in their weirdly designed college where the staircases had alternate steps for left and right feet, which ought to work but doesn’t. Possibly few of them had ever watched television, which is why only five — the minimum of four players and a spare — turned up for the college’s University Challenge audition, whereas the rest of us would have swapped our degrees for a chance to appear. No wonder they scored 35 points, the record lowest, having been on a minus score for most of the quiz.

Lay & Wheeler Spectator Christmas wine offer

From our UK edition

Click here to order online We have two Christmas offers this month, both from top-ranking wine merchants. The first is by Lay & Wheeler. Nearly all the wines have been reduced by 10 per cent (with free delivery); there are further discounts if you buy more than one case, and two of the reds represent astonishing value. Both are over-production of famous names. The strict French appellation system limits the amount of wine that can be sold under any particular label. This must be infuriating if, for example, you make white wine in one of the great Burgundy districts and in a particularly good year you produce more than you’re allowed to sell under its real name. It ends up labelled as a generic Burgundy.

Royle class

From our UK edition

I was in Zagreb last weekend. The city closes early on Saturday, so I ended up watching television in my hotel. Once you’ve flicked past German stock-market reports and volleyball from Belgrade, there’s not a lot of choice, except one or two English-language cable programmes you would never dream of watching at home. Take CNN’s Quest, featuring someone — from his accent, British — called Richard Quest, who fancies himself as a character and goes around barking at people. He also barks banalities at us. His topic was art. ‘Art. We all know it when we see it. But do we really understand it?

Christmas Mini-Bar Offer

From our UK edition

Click here to send an order by emailThis is the first of our Christmas offers — a little early, I know, but a chance for you to stock up on pleasingly discounted bubbles for the festive season. It’s a very flexible offer from Armit of Notting Hill — you can buy most of the wines by the half-dozen, or acquire our two tasting cases: the Luxury and the Grand Luxe. The only requirement is that, for free delivery, you have to order at least a dozen bottles. The Prosecco La Riva dei Frati NV1 is a delicious example of this plump, moussy, zestful and fruity wine, from the Prosecco grape, of course. It needs to be drunk this year, and will be perfect for parties on its own, as a Buck’s Fizz or as the classic Bellini with peach juice.

Altered images

From our UK edition

At the Cheltenham Festival last week, Professor John Sutherland was on a panel discussing Jean Rhys’s Wide Sargasso Sea — which on this occasion won the mock-Booker prize for 1966, defeating The Jewel in the Crown, The Comedians and The Magus. Prof. Sutherland made the point that a prequel like WSS can exist because the author may assume in her readers a working knowledge of any book as central to the canon as Jane Eyre. Yet it also casts its modern influence back into the earlier novel. Whereas in Jane Eyre the first Mrs Rochester is fat, ugly and crazed, in WSS she has to be gorgeous and entrancing, for why else would he have married her?

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 14 October 2006

From our UK edition

Click here to send an order by emailStone, Vine & Sun of Winchester is one of my very favourite wine merchants. I’ve never tried anything of theirs that wasn’t first rate, and I was not remotely surprised when they won the Best Small Independent Wine Merchant award from Wine International this year. What they do brilliantly is fossick around for amazing bargains in unexpected places, and there are few discoveries more pleasing than a delicious wine at a price that allows you to buy plenty. White wines need to breathe as much as reds, but generally people are afraid of them getting too warm — though they should never be iced. Probably you should decant any decent white some hours before drinking, then maybe give it an hour in the fridge.

Bare cheek

From our UK edition

Normally I detest people who use laptops on crowded trains, but if you’re watching a DVD your elbows aren’t flying, and with earphones you’re no more of a nuisance to your neighbours than you would be reading a paper. So on a train crawling towards Bournemouth for the Tory conference, I set up the machine and popped in a preview disc of Trinny & Susannah Undress (ITV, Tuesday). At roughly the point where the couple they were bullying got naked and slipped behind a screen, an elegant middle-aged Frenchwoman took the seat next to me. The camera then went behind the screen and we saw the couple rubbing, stroking and kneading each other’s fleshy bits — nothing really rude, you understand, but implying a degree of pornography to come.

Spectator Wine Club September Offer

From our UK edition

Order the wines onlineI’m just back from my annual trip to Adnams of Southwold. It’s one of those events that makes the end of summer rather more tolerable. Their shop in town (they are soon expanding into other parts of booming East Anglia) is cool, elegant and stuffed with exciting wines which Adnams’ buyers have found all over the world. A tasting of a few dozen wines is followed by lunch at the Crown Hotel, which has some of the best food in the region. And I am invariably spoiled for choice; every single one of the wines they suggested this year was of the highest standard, and trimming the number to eight was almost impossible. But we did it.

Carry on camping

From our UK edition

At last the BBC has worked out what to do with Graham Norton. The series How Do You Solve a Problem Like Graham? (sorry, silly me, Like Maria) has just ended and it was so achingly, screamingly, dementedly camp it made its host, clad in a suit which appeared to have been woven from aluminium thread with velour trimmings, seem by comparison as straight as Jeremy Paxman. Oh, the frocks, the heels, the lip gloss, the magenta and lime strip lighting, the audience stuffed with plump mums, and of course The Sound of Music itself! I guess that in gay pubs up and down the land they had blackboards outside boasting ‘Live, on the giant screen, Maria final!’ in the way that other pubs offer Man U v. Arsenal.

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 16 September 2006

From our UK edition

Order the wines online Private Cellar is a very classy company. Its four principals all worked for Corney & Barrow, and its buying director is a Master of Wine with the magnificent name of Nicola Arcedeckne-Butler. I assumed this indicated Eastern European origins; in fact it’s an old English spelling of ‘Archdeacon’. Nicola and her colleagues have created a list that is short but very carefully chosen. France still dominates, but in the past year or so they have moved into the New World, with excellent results, which is why three of the wines in this offer come from South Africa — now soaring around the world in both prestige and price — and one from the amazingly inventive Argentines.

Spectator Wine Club August Offer

From our UK edition

How should wines be sealed? This issue continues to fret the trade. Those who believe in screwcaps correctly argue that they make it far less likely that wine will go off. Up to 5 per cent of all bottles are ‘corked’, as oxidation and sourness result from air penetrating an inadequate cork. Sometimes the effect is almost undetectable; sometimes it’s gaggingly horrible. We don’t get many complaints here at the wine club, but when someone writes, ‘This wine you recommended so highly tasted like vinegar’, I know the bottle was corked. Incidentally, all our merchants will change any bottle that’s off, without quibble. Supporters of cork say that the opening ritual is a traditional pleasure for the wine-drinker.

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 3 August 2006

From our UK edition

The French are finally coming to terms with generic wines. The bottles, instead of being labelled with the name of the grower and location, have names that are either trendy (Fat Bastard or Le Freak) or else amiably meaningless, such as Chamarré, a kind of butterfly. The labels also show the grape variety. This information was previously thought unnecessary; if you didn’t know that, say, Chablis was made from Chardonnay, or Condrieu from Viognier, you probably weren’t fit to drink it. But these wines, it’s thought, will be welcome to confused drinkers everywhere, in Britain, the US or in France itself. But it will be a slow process.

Spectator Wine Club July Offer

From our UK edition

This offer is, I think, exceptional value. Merchants occasionally overstock on first-rate wines which don’t sell off the page. Order the wines online This offer is, I think, exceptional value. Merchants occasionally overstock on first-rate wines which don’t sell off the page. For example, if you saw, on the list published by the old and distinguished house Averys, something called Rare Spice Petit Verdot at £71 a case, you might wonder what on earth it was, and why you should pay nearly £6 a bottle for a grape you’ve never heard of from a winery you don’t know. But seeing it at £4.58, and being told that it is a delicious, round, spicy, violet-scented and beautifully balanced wine for cheery glugging or sipping with food, you might try it.

Spectator Mini-Bar Offer | 5 July 2006

From our UK edition

Organic wine is increasingly popular, in spite of the fact that few people know what the term actually means. The rules seem to be strict but variable, work differently from country to country, and are monitored by a bewildering number of autonomous organisations. Some of these allow a handful of additions, such as preservatives. But others ban certain physical processes, even if these don’t involve chemicals at all. If the word has any useful meaning, I suppose it’s something like: ‘made from vines to which almost nothing artificial has been added’, and for some people that is very important. Does it affect the taste of the wine?