Shane Cashman

Dr. Jonathan Jiang dreams of beaming an easy-to-read message into space before civilization collapses. He’s run the simulations to test humanity’s self-destruction rate. According to his computers, there’s a 0.1 percent chance that humanity destroys itself in the not-so-distant future. He’s even more pessimistic than Stephen Hawking, who bowed out of public life saying, “I don’t think we will survive another 1,000 years without escaping beyond our fragile planet.” Jiang, who works for NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, co-authored the 2022 paper “A Beacon in the Galaxy,” which argues for the importance of streamlining the communications we send into space hoping they might be intercepted by an interplanetary species.

Remember the UFO that one of our fighter jets shot down with a missile? Reports now indicate it was a $12 balloon from Hobby Lobby — while the missile was supposedly worth around $400,000. This seems to me like a summary of the current state of things. It’s Quixote running towards windmills. It’s the hypochondriac class trying to run the country. There’s been a strange epidemic of objects floating overhead. Some have been reported to be Chinese spy balloons, while some people believe they’re extraterrestrial. The sky isn’t the only place where these objects have been spotted; there was also that iron ball that rolled out of the ocean in Japan.