‘Misleading, deceptive, inaccurate – and that’s just the weather.’
From our UK edition
‘Misleading, deceptive, inaccurate – and that’s just the weather.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
If the Chinese know what we’re doing perhaps they could let us know
From our UK edition
‘If the Chinese know what we’re doing perhaps they could let us know.’
That’s a relief – I thought you might be preparing a Budget
From our UK edition
‘That’s a relief – I thought you might be preparing a Budget.’
Wednesday
‘If they ban burqas we could be in big trouble.’
From our UK edition
‘If they ban burqas we could be in big trouble.’
Wednesday
They’ve mis-spelled Reform.
From our UK edition
‘They’ve mis-spelled Reform.’
Is it too late for a letter of no confidence?
From our UK edition
‘Is it too late for a letter of no confidence?’
Wednesday
I foresee increased inflation
From our UK edition
‘I foresee increased inflation.’
Wednesday
‘How’s this for a crazy, headline-grabbing stunt?’
From our UK edition
‘How’s this for a crazy, headline-grabbing stunt?’
We need you to vet the next ambassador to Washington.
From our UK edition
‘We need you to vet the next ambassador to Washington.’
Wednesday
Did you just criticise
From our UK edition
‘Did you just criticise Netanyahu?’
Wednesday
Judgment
From our UK edition
‘You have to question Nadine Dorries’s judgment – she ate my dad’s anus’
Bless, they still believe
From our UK edition
‘Bless, they still believe in a bearded old man who will give them whatever they want!’
Energy drinks
From our UK edition
‘Keep Billy off energy drinks, Mrs Whizz.’
Thursday
Cheat!
From our UK edition
‘Oi, cheat! Download your own ChatGPT essay!’
Need to know
From our UK edition
‘So, what do you need to know?’
Wednesday
Stand by
From our UK edition
‘Stand by for Farage deportations!’
We’ve spent a fortune
From our UK edition
‘We’ve spent a fortune on reducing our property’s value.’
Wednesday
When I get to Britain I want to be so rich the wealth tax forces me to leave the country
From our UK edition
‘When I get to Britain I want to be so rich the wealth tax forces me to leave the country.’
Wednesday
Ten shillings
From our UK edition
‘I preferred it when Grandpa gave us ten shillings.’
Eyeliner
From our UK edition
‘We’ve stocked up on eyeliner.’