Nick Newman

‘Don’t mention the Track and Trace app — she’s overly sensitive.’

‘I hope they don’t drop QR codes before I’ve found out what they are.’

‘My desk used to be lovely and unspoilt.’

‘We’re going to space because it’s less hassle than going to Portugal.’

‘Bend the rules! Move the goalposts! Kick it into touch!’

‘It’s a postcard from our neighbours on staycation next door.’

‘As a keen cyclist, Boris would want us to ignore the traffic lights.’

‘That’s a relief — we feared you had an explosive dossier.’

‘We’re free to cancel going abroad.’

‘I draw the line at leading the Labour party.’

‘Oh no! I completely forgot to be apathetic!’