‘He’s not getting another present until we get a thank-you letter!’
‘He’s not getting another present until we get a thank-you letter!’
Nick Newman
Monday
‘Is our flu coming to you, or is your flu coming to us?’
‘Is our flu coming to you, or is your flu coming to us?’
Saturday
‘Are you a reliable news service or a propaganda outlet?’
‘Are you a reliable news service or a propaganda outlet?’
Wednesday
‘It’s undermining justice, deciding if I’m naughty or nice without a jury.’
‘It’s undermining justice, deciding if I’m naughty or nice without a jury.’
This black hole, Chancellor – is it in the room with us now?
‘This black hole, Chancellor – is it in the room with us now?’
Wednesday
‘I’m waiting till Black Friday to do all my Christmas shoplifting.’
‘I’m waiting till Black Friday to do all my Christmas shoplifting.’
Wednesday
‘How is it that Starmer can fly all over the world in such a short space of time?’
‘How is it that Starmer can fly all over the world in such a short space of time?’
Wednesday
‘The driver’s gone to jail so he’s kept the engine running.’
‘The driver’s gone to jail so he’s kept the engine running.’
‘Misleading, deceptive, inaccurate – and that’s just the weather.’
‘Misleading, deceptive, inaccurate – and that’s just the weather.’
Wednesday
If the Chinese know what we’re doing perhaps they could let us know
‘If the Chinese know what we’re doing perhaps they could let us know.’
That’s a relief – I thought you might be preparing a Budget
‘That’s a relief – I thought you might be preparing a Budget.’
Wednesday
‘If they ban burqas we could be in big trouble.’
‘If they ban burqas we could be in big trouble.’
Wednesday
They’ve mis-spelled Reform.
‘They’ve mis-spelled Reform.’
Is it too late for a letter of no confidence?
‘Is it too late for a letter of no confidence?’
Wednesday
I foresee increased inflation
‘I foresee increased inflation.’
Wednesday
‘How’s this for a crazy, headline-grabbing stunt?’
‘How’s this for a crazy, headline-grabbing stunt?’
We need you to vet the next ambassador to Washington.
‘We need you to vet the next ambassador to Washington.’
Wednesday
Did you just criticise
‘Did you just criticise Netanyahu?’
Wednesday
Judgment
‘You have to question Nadine Dorries’s judgment – she ate my dad’s anus’
Bless, they still believe
‘Bless, they still believe in a bearded old man who will give them whatever they want!’