Jonathan Miller

Jonathan Miller

The late Jonathan Miller, who lived near Montpellier, was the author of Shock of the News: Confessions of a Troublemaker, Gibson Square.

Saturday

Jonathan Miller

The licence fee is at the root of the BBC’s problems

The BBC’s reputation is in shreds – again. Its Hamas propaganda film, Gaza: How to Survive a War Zone, had to be withdrawn after it was revealed that its protagonist and narrator was the son of a Hamas minister. The BBC has announced it will investigate itself following the broadcast of the documentary last month, but what is to be done about the accident-prone public broadcaster? Unfortunately, every indication is that the government will continue to stuff the BBC’s undeserving pockets with money. Kemi Badenoch has threatened to reconsider the Conservative party’s support for the licence fee, now £169.50 and due to increase to £174.50 in April. What a feeble response.

Thursday

Jonathan Miller

More booze won’t save France’s dying village life

Reach for the pastis, Jacques. A law is making its way through the French parliament to relax alcohol licensing, to make it easier to open bars and cafes in French towns and villages. French politicians are desperate to try anything to stimulate commerce in villages that are dying, the life sucked out of them by shopping centres with everything just five minutes away in the car. That more bars will be helpful is likely to be wishful thinking. The days when the Café de la Paix was at the centre of village life are long passé. It is easy to over-sentimentalise the role of the café in France’s 40,000 small towns. Even the coffee was mostly terrible.

Tuesday

Jonathan Miller

Donald Trump humiliated Emmanuel Macron

The orca killer whale is known for playing with its prey before killing it, always with a smile. An image that came to mind on Monday when French President Emmanuel Macron arrived at the White House to plead the cause of Ukraine to a grinning President Donald Trump. The French media is dutifully repeating the Elysée line that Macron had rekindled a bromance with the American president, but this is disconnected from reality. Macron returns to Paris today with, as far as I can tell, nothing but platitudes.  This was nothing like Macron’s visits to Washington during the Biden administration, when the French president used to deal with Biden’s sympathetic secretary of state Antony Blinken and flirt with Karine Jean-Pierre, Biden’s francophone press secretary.

Jonathan Miller

The naked truth about French health care

Faithful readers will know of my journey through the French health care system. I have not shared these histories because anyone should be particularly interested in my aches and pains, or to complain. If I wanted to moan about a health system on the verge of a nervous breakdown I would return to Britain. No, I drone on because it’s worth repeating the astonishing discovery that it is actually possible to have a health system that isn’t crap. And I have made some other discoveries along the way. In previous episodes, I have covered the remarkable behaviour of French GPs, who actually answer the phone – and will see you the same day if necessary or tomorrow if less immediately urgent.

Wednesday

Jonathan Miller

Britain is facing a rubbish crisis

We have a pied-à-terre in Soho, which is convenient when I am in London, even if the street outside our tiny house is sometimes a little raucous at night. The neighbourhood is lively and fun, but my visits come with the difficulty that, in Soho, so far as I can tell, there is nowhere to dispose of your rubbish. I saw recently that Bristol City Council wants to limit collection of its wheelie bins to once a month. In much of Britain, it is already fortnightly. But at least they have wheelie bins. Westminster doesn’t allow wheelie bins in Soho; the pavements are too narrow. I assume this is the case also in other constrained neighbourhoods. Our shiny new Labour-controlled Westminster City Council seems to have given up collecting rubbish.

Wednesday

Jonathan Miller

Never write a book

I have just finished writing a book and am moping about the house at a loose end. The conventional advice to anyone thinking about writing a book is: don’t. Unless you’re one of the 1 per cent of authors who make 99 per cent of the money, it’s a mug’s game as far as making a living is concerned. Your cleaning lady earns more per hour. So my advice is only write a book if you have an alternative source of income. One of the hardest things about writing a book is stopping. The temptation to tinker persists until the publisher screams at you to stop and mutters that publishing would be a good business if it weren’t for the authors. Still, the end is in sight, and now I need something to do.

Tuesday

Jonathan Miller

Jean-Marie Le Pen won’t be missed

Perhaps it’s tasteless to make the point that maybe nobody will be happier to see Jean-Marie Le Pen buried than his daughter Marine. The founder of the National Front died this morning at the age of 96, discredited, ignored, mentally incapacitated and largely irrelevant, except as a spectre.  Today the terms ‘hard right’, ‘extreme right’ and ‘far right’ are often carelessly employed, but Len Pen père was all of these, a millstone for his daughter as she attempted to drag the party towards the mainstream and kick down the door of the Elysée Palace. Though it’s been years since his outbursts against Jews, Arabs and gays made headlines, it’s now sure there will be no more of them.

Thursday

Jonathan Miller

Macron is the author of his own despair

‘Notre-Dame has been restored to its full level of glory, and even more so,’ said the President-elect Donald J. Trump this week, as he confirmed that he would be honouring Emmanuel Macron with his presence for the big reopening of France’s most famous cathedral on Saturday. ‘It will be a very special day for all!’ Just like Trump, Macron relishes such stately occasions, and it would be churlish to deny him credit for Notre-Dame’s impressive reconstruction following the devastating fire that shocked the world in 2019. Paul McCartney has reportedly been given an ‘exceptional authorisation’ to sing ‘Imagine’ within the sacred walls, while the rapper Pharrell Williams will perform outside.

Wednesday

Jonathan Miller

Michel Barnier has brought France to the verge of collapse

A new Anglo-Saxon barbarism has entered the French political language: ‘government shutdown.’ There is excited talk of civil servants not being paid. Tax uncollected. The collapse of medical reimbursements. Supposedly this will bring France to its senses and voters will quietly accept increased taxes and cuts to public services.  The French government teeters on the verge of collapse. Prime Minister Michel Barnier, 73, acclaimed genius of the Brexit negotiations, had one job: to deliver a budget. He failed. His text isn’t acceptable to the National Assembly. He is now desperately threatening to force it through, under an emergency decree. But if he does he will be brought down in a vote of censure in which the left and the forces of Marine Le Pen will unite – and then what?

Monday

Jonathan Miller

Keir Starmer’s pointless meeting with Emmanuel Macron

It’s extremely difficult to imagine that today’s meeting between Keir Starmer and Emmanuel Macron produced anything substantive beyond a photo opportunity at the Arc de Triomphe to mark the 106th anniversary of the 1918 armistice. This year is also the 120th anniversary of the Entente Cordiale and it suits both Starmer and Macron to big up the idea of Franco-British friendship, not that there has been much substance to it of late.

Monday

Jonathan Miller

SpaceX has put Europe to shame

The flawless launch of SpaceX’s 5,000-ton Starship and its Super Heavy Booster, and the precision recovery of the booster on its launch pad, has opened the way to a manned mission to the moon next year and perhaps to Mars as soon as 2030. One giant leap for Elon Musk’s company on Sunday was one more reminder that Europe’s space programme is a colossal failure. Elon’s Musk’s dream has become Europe’s nightmare Europe is currently unable to launch even its own weather satellites, and India, which managed a soft landing on the Moon last year, now has a more credible space program.

Friday

Jonathan Miller

France is finally opting for austerity

After the binge, the bill? The new French government of Michel Barnier presented the main lines of its proposed 2025 budget on Thursday evening, promising to cut public spending by £50 billion while raising taxes across the board. It’s belated austerity for a state with a fiscal policy that has previously resembled dine and dash.  The intention is to reduce the deficit to 5 per cent of GDP next year, before trying to go below 3 per cent in 2029. Meanwhile, France’s debt of 3.3 trillion Euros will increase.   This is a punishment beating for the most successful and productive companies and individuals in France Like one of those mille feuille pastries, there are layers of irony to this.

Friday

Jonathan Miller

AI drones are coming for dog owners

Béziers, France The most significant application to date of artificial intelligence and unmanned aerial aircraft has been unveiled: the Poopcopter. It does what it says on the tin. It scoops poop. No more plastic bags. No more furtive glances while out walking to see if Fido’s emissions have been observed by truculent neighbours. According to its inventor, the Poopcopter is the ‘world’s first self-guided dog poop removal system, using a drone, and 3D-printed pickup mechanism.’ The drone has real-time computer vision and machine learning algorithms. A cloud-based system receives footage from the drone’s built-in camera, examines it, and looks for any excrement in the surrounding area. https://www.youtube.com/watch?

Wednesday

Jonathan Miller

Michel Barnier’s government in name only

A trillion here and a trillion there and pretty soon you’re talking about real money.  Of course, France now owes even more than that. To be precise, a colossal €3,228,000,000,000. Up by one trillion euros since the election in 2017 of President Emmanuel Macron, the ‘Mozart of finance’. A ‘sword of Damocles’, admitted the new French prime minister Michel Barnier on Tuesday in his speech to the National Assembly setting out the programme of his minority government. A government in name only, it can be said, since it depends on its survival on the consent of Marine Le Pen.   As the left opposition hissed and Le Pen beamed like one of her Bengal cats, a breed noted for its aggression, Barnier delivered his message in calm and measured tones, fooling nobody.

Thursday

Jonathan Miller

Why French students want English uniforms

Béziers, France The École Mairan in Béziers in southern France is a happy neighbourhood elementary school housed in a superb renovated 19th-century hôtel particulier. In the middle of the medieval city, surrounded by both great houses and humbler tenements, it is attended by 120 pupils aged six to 11. There are the children of Algerian and Moroccan immigrants and the children of distinguished Biterrois families, with a sprinkling of Spaniards, Italians, Ukrainians and one American. Mairan is one of four schools in Béziers, and 100 in France, where this autumn children have started wearing school uniforms. So I went to Béziers to have a look. ‘The children love their uniforms.

Saturday

Jonathan Miller

Marine Le Pen looks unstoppable

Overlook for the moment the shenanigans surrounding French prime minister Michel Barnier’s attempt to cobble together a new government. One political crisis can conceal another. And a more existential spectre is haunting Paris. Its name is Marine Le Pen. Amidst the chaos, the weakened president and the hapless efforts to form a government, the leader of the National Rally seems to be the only winner. We are embarked on the final phase of the Macron epoch In Paris's smartest arrondissements, inhabited by the political and media blob who have run everything in France since forever, the unthinkable has become the plausible. The national political nervous breakdown, precipitated by president Emmanuel Macron, has put the barbarian at the gate. Oh la vache.

Tuesday

Jonathan Miller

It’s a pity Thierry Breton didn’t resign sooner

The spectacular resignation of Thierry Breton from the European Commission suggests that the president of the European Commission Ursula von der Leyen is not quite as useless as her numerous critics suggest. Breton's departure was overdue. Credit to von der Leyen for wielding the long knife. Breton’s arrogance was exceeded only by his uselessness. After Mario Draghi’s taxonomy of European decline last week, the role of Breton as commissioner in charge of the single market was a nonsense. Draghi said Europe is on a path to self-destruction, becoming nothing more than an open-air museum, sustained by tourism.

Friday

Jonathan Miller

Marine Le Pen is crucial to Michel Barnier’s survival

Michel Barnier, the OAP appointed yesterday as Prime Minister of France, is a sensible fellow, even if at 73 he should be putting up his feet after decades in the political trenches. And he has plenty of pensions to draw on. He’s not exciting. Scandal free, socially conservative, a master of dossiers – not intrigue, he’s not even a graduate of the École National d’Administration, the finishing school of the French elite. He’s a former choir boy and Scout who seems never to have made a memorable speech in his long career. He’s rather boring, and normal. His two memorable achievements seem to have been as the EU’s Brexit negotiator, in which he ran circles around Theresa May and Boris Johnson, and as the organiser of the Albertville Winter Olympic Games in 1992.

Wednesday

Jonathan Miller

Macron’s search for a prime minster is a complete farce

Who will be the next prime minister of France? Almost two months after the centre lost its majority in the National Assembly, the potential candidates range from the improbable to the ludicrous.   The latest semi-crazed idea is that Emmanuel Macron should call on Ségolene Royal, the former wife of François Hollande, a socialist party machine politician hated in equal measure by both the extreme left and populist right and who generates no enthusiasm from either the moderate Republicans or the residue of the president’s centre.  Admittedly, this idea is floated by Royal herself and has been met with general derision. Or perhaps Bernard Cazeneuve, a moderate socialist who was Hollande’s prime minister for six months.

Thursday

Jonathan Miller

French politics has become an absurdist farce

It’s the rentrée politique this week in France, the start of the political year, a bit earlier than normal. It promises to be a macedoine of absurdist farce and media frenzy. On Friday President Emmanuel Macron, the principal personality in this drama, will begin to see the leaders of some (but not all) of the 14 or 15 political factions that form the dysfunctional National Assembly. A negligent wager with no upside and unlimited downside – and this from the so-called Mozart of finance His mission is to appoint a prime minister who can cobble together some semblance of a credible, durable government in the EU’s second-largest economy. An economy that already does not comply with European Union debt limits, with debt that could soon again explode.