Jarvis Dupont

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez held a town hall congress meeting on Thursday in Corona, New York, at the Queens Public Library, during which an alleged constituent stood up and began by expressing her dismay at the current climate crisis, which ended in her shouting, 'We have to start eating the babies!'At first many of us identified with her anguish as she informed those around her that we only have a few months until the planet is destroyed. This is a very real fear for anyone who admires Greta Thunberg, and so I was fully on board with what she was saying. The woman began by telling Ocasio-Cortez how much she admired her dedication to tackling the climate crisis but declared that limiting the use of fossil fuels isn’t enough.

A photograph has been uncovered by TIME magazine which shows the Canadian prime minister attending an 'Arabian Nights'-themed costume gala at the West Point Grey Academy in Vancouver in 2001. Since the photograph came to light, Mr Trudeau has apologized. In a televised news conference on his campaign aircraft, he said: 'I take responsibility for my decision to do that. I shouldn't have done it. I should have known better. It was something that I didn't think was racist at the time, but now I recognize it was something racist to do and I am deeply sorry.' At the time the photograph was taken, Mr Trudeau was a 29-year-old teacher at the academy.

Today, international singing(?) sensation Sam Smith [EDIT: not sure who he is… did he win The X Factor?] announced that from now on they wish to be referred to by the pronouns ‘they/them’. They posted on their Twitter feed: 'After a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to change my pronouns to THEY/THEM.' You could almost feel the entire planet heave a sigh of relief. 'Hooray! Hooray!', the Earth’s inhabitants seemed be unwittingly emitting a joyous chorus, 'Sam Smith has changed their pronouns!' Ever since Sam’s birth [I don’t know when that was, but I’ve just remembered seeing him on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and he definitely did a song], each and every one of us have sensed something wrong.

I cannot tell you how delighted I am that Prince Harry has decided to become woke. Today he made a speech in which he highlighted the urgent need for us to cut down on unnecessary travel. Harry, his wife Meghan, and their royal entourage flew to Amsterdam (because going by sea would take too long), in order to attend the launch of an eco-tourism project. While there, Harry made an inspiring plea to the rest of the world to do everything we can to reduce our carbon footprints. Harry was unfairly criticized at the event for his use of private jets. To this, he responded: 'I came here by commercial. I spend 99 percent of my life traveling the world by commercial.

I have been literally shaking for the past 24 hours since hearing that Boris Johnson has decided to suspend Parliament until a few days before Britain leaves the EU. By doing this, he is effectively preventing the opposition from blocking a no deal Brexit. Myself and my fellow Remainers who have been fearlessly campaigning for the past three years to get the result of the 2016 EU referendum reversed, signing petitions requesting a second referendum in which we could vote correctly this time, going around social media telling Leave voters how stupid and racist they are, and generally attempting to derail Brexit by any means possible…are utterly STUNNED at how blatantly Boris Johnson so obviously despises democracy.

Yesterday on Twitter, media critic Joanna Schroeder (@iproposethis) posted an eloquent and inspirational thread, examining the radicalization process of white teenage boys, which understandably went viral. https://twitter.com/iproposethis/status/1161130456286289920?s=20 'I've been watching my boys' online behavior & noticed that social media and vloggers are actively laying groundwork in white teens to turn them into alt-right/white supremacists,' wrote Joanna. She then went on at some length to explain how jokes and memes can corrupt teenage boys’ minds. 'Here's an early red flag: if your kid says "triggered" as a joke referring to people being sensitive, he's already being exposed & on his way' she continued, describing the warning signs to look out for.

Once again, Trump has shown his true colors in a series of tweets posted on Sunday in which he told four congresswomen of color to ‘go back’ to their own countries. Literally ordering WoC to leave America because of the color of their skin. For the sake of clarity, I haven’t read the entire Twitter thread because I refuse to give Donald Trump my attention (apart from Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday nights at our tri-weekly campus ‘Not Our President’ meetings in Pret a Manger – living in the UK, Trump is *literally* not our president, but we do not allow that to prevent us from standing in solidarity with our US counterparts). Since posting the tweets, he has quite rightly been bombarded with condemnation.

Right-wing possible Nazi collaborator (I have no real evidence of this, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was) Andy Ngo was ‘attacked’ at the Portland rally on Saturday. For those unaware, Andy Ngo is a so-called ‘journalist’ who is apparently well-known for aggravating situations by attending political events armed with his fascist GoPro camera and ‘reporting’ what happens. Now, if this isn’t an act of right-wing terrorism, I do not know what is. Mr Ngo supposedly sustained ‘injuries’ after a small group of around 25 or so noble Antifa comrades bravely surrounded him and peacefully protested by throwing objects at his head. The subsequent outcry from the alt-right has been depressingly predictable.

Guess how many women I sexually assaulted yesterday? Zero. You see, it's really not that difficult. I steadfastly refuse to rape a woman or kill a black person; despite the fact I am a straight white male. By being vocal about this I hope to encourage other straight white men to follow my example. Respecting women is a full-time job if you’re a privileged white man (n.b. all white men are privileged by default), but I am living proof that it is possible. Every white man on the planet is guilty of horrendous abuse, even if he believes otherwise (apart from myself of course). I aim to change this. Every day I strive to recognize my own masculine toxicity and male arrogance. I rise above the urge to mansplain.

This week, a few right-wing hit pieces have emerged regarding the ‘controversy’ surrounding Desmond is Amazing, an 11-year-old drag kid, due to his appearance in a video with Michael Alig, who Desmond cites as an ‘inspiration’. For those who are unaware, Michael Alig is a Club Kids founder who served 17 years in prison for beating his drug dealer to death, dissolving the body in acid for over a week, dismembering the corpse, and then finally dumping it in the Hudson River. Now, how many of us can honestly say we’ve never done anything like that?

At approximately 8:30am on Monday morning I awoke in a cold sweat. My alarm was not set to go off until 1:30pm. What had disturbed my sleep? Something felt wrong, like an unseen force of evil was spreading its insidious influence across the land. I was confused, nauseous. Waves of anxiety were crashing against the shores of my usual stoic calm. I sat up in bed, straightened my man bun and resolved to find the source of this malevolent aura. I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and opened the Twitter app. Almost immediately, my eyes were drawn towards a news article, the headline of which made me almost vomit into my mouth: ‘Donald Trump has landed in the UK’. Of course.

Listening to Greta Thunberg, an articulate 16-year-old girl who feels passionately about climate change issues, I am astounded that our political leaders have not yet taken steps to relocate the entire human race to Mars. She makes it very clear that unless we all drastically change our ways, the world as we know it will end in the next two or three years. I for one, believe her. Americans may not be aware of Greta yet, even though she’s listed on the 2019 TIME 100 but it is imperative that we help this modern-day Swedish Cassandra to spread the word of our impending doom as far as possible. I spent the bank holiday Easter weekend digging a hole in my garden in order to install an underground bunker.

As a child, I was horrifyingly oblivious to what it meant to be a white male. I ignorantly assumed that skin color should never be an issue. I went around treating everyone the same regardless of gender or race. I look back on those days now and cringe. Thank goodness I ‘woke up’ so to speak! I was lucky to grow up on a moderately large 20,000-acre estate in a 23-bedroom Georgian house which had been in my family for at least six hundred years. For the first few years of my life, I was blissfully unaware of my standing within society. This glorious childhood utopia did not last long. At the tender age of 12, I watched a film which put it all into perspective: Ratatouille. I remember the impact this movie had on me as if it were yesterday. My mind was awash with confusion.