Ed West

Plenty has been written about the hatred some on the left feel towards their ‘enemies’, something on display at the moment in Manchester, with journalists being called ‘Tory scum’ for covering a party conference. I’ve bored for Britain on the subject of political hatred of the left, but less has been written about how self-defeating it is. For example, one of the best things that could happen to the Tories is for the Labour faithful to convince themselves that Corbyn was defeated only because of a biased, Tory-dominated press. This means that, rather than brutally analysing their weaknesses after Corbyn goes, they’re more likely to retreat into their own comfort zone politically.

Ukip’s conference last week featured some characteristically colourful characters, including a lady with a Nigel Farage tattoo on her arm (and, strangely, one of Robert Smith of The Cure on the other). Significantly, though, attendance was down on last year. Sebastian Payne asked what the point of the party is, now that the Brexit referendum is coming and will answer their existential question either way. Iain Martin at Cap X then predicted that the party had run its course. It’s been a strange few months for the Kippers; a strong poll showing in May combined with a disappointing result, followed by Nigel Farage’s resignation and then un-resignation.

When did political campaigns become so vain? The latest instance involves a bunch of clowns from Spain (they’re literally clowns, I mean) protesting against the Israeli security barrier by standing in front of the wall, naked. A statement on their Facebook page said: ‘When you stand before this shameful fence, all of humanity is naked. The decision to be photographed as naked clowns was meant to remind us that all of humanity has lost its respect by allowing such barriers to exist.’ The Palestinians, unsurprisingly, called this ‘disgusting’. Personally I find it hilarious; the funniest thing involving white people abroad since Andrew Hawkins’s African apology tour.

Now that the Middle East is basically moving to Europe after Germany did the national equivalent of advertising a house party on Facebook, it’s worth looking back four years ago to when the ‘Arab Spring’ was beginning, and what might have been done. At the time, you’ll recall, Egypt’s kleptocrat dictator had just fallen and the first protests were beginning in Syria. David Cameron flew to the Gulf where he attacked suggestions that the Middle East ‘can’t do democracy’. As the Mail reported at the time: He rejected the idea that 'highly controlling' regimes are needed to ensure stability as violence and protests continued in Libya.

My six-year-old, when told that there was a princess of England with the same name as her, was astonished to learn that such things existed. ‘In real life, not in princess-land?’ She assumed princesses only lived in some made-up world along with dragons and trolls and daddy’s savings account. One of the arguments made against the monarchy is that it is inherently ridiculous and belongs in a children’s story. But as we mark 64 years under the Elizabethan junta, it is worth noting that it’s the very absurdity of monarchy that makes it egalitarian and anti-authoritarian, in that it keeps powerful people in their place.

Corbynmania has unleashed a great feeling of hope and change in the British public, especially among people hoping to wipe Israel off the face of the earth. Whether or not Jezza can be blamed for his links to activists with fascinating, esoteric views of the second world war, the accusations have focused attention on one particular aspect of 21st century politics: anti-Semitism on the left. My colleague, Hugo Rifkind, raised the issue last week and has since enjoyed a lot of light-hearted, knock-about anti-Semitic banter. For example, here and here. Great stuff guys! I laughed, but anti-Semitism can be darkly funny as long as it’s spoken by the powerless and ineffective.

Britain’s Poles go on strike tomorrow to protest the widespread anti-Polish xenophobia across the country, which is literally everywhere. There are about one million Polish people in Great Britain, and many sectors of the economy depend on them, so in theory they could hold the country to ransom by striking. But they wont, and this is the beauty of open orders. Firstly, they won’t because so many eastern Europeans work in areas where they have so few working rights. That’s why big business likes them, and why many working-class natives resent their arrival. So if your Polish worker goes on strike, you can just sack him and hire a Romanian for even less; that is how our forward-looking, globalised labour force works.

If the Labour leadership has taught us anything it is that, as Kent Brockman once observed, democracy simply doesn’t work.  The people’s party has asked the people, and the people are going to drive them off a cliff. One or two journalists have speculated about whether the Tory Right could ever do something similar. https://twitter.com/georgeeaton/status/631935656139337732 To some extent it’s a moot point because the set-up of the Conservative leadership election favours the moderates, by allowing only two candidates to go forward to the membership for voting.

I used to consider myself to be in tune with the general public on politics, by which I meant – on the loony wing of the Tory party. After all, I told myself, we have widespread public support on crime, immigration, Europe and most issues involving morality. Things had only gone wrong because a modernising clique based in Notting Hill wanted to reject true conservatism and embrace social liberalism, a liberalism that is neither popular nor especially rational or workable. But I have to say that Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership bid has rather shaken my confidence in the whole 'authentic right' thing.

I’ve often wondered if Freudian theories could be applied to the Left in the same way they have been applied to the Right in the past. Is there an equivalent, for example, of The Authoritarian Personality but perhaps labelled The Moralising Personality, which would explain the mind-set of so many people? (I agree with this writer that a lot of people who rail against patriarchy seem to have a direct problem with their own fathers. It’s also curious how some strident feminists convert to Islam, which could possibly be something to do with their dads. But maybe that’s at the root of my own political insanity, too.

Tonight it looks like the Oxi's have it, and Greece's fraught relationship with the Franks has reached a new phase, with possible Grexit coming; that's assuming the exit polls are correct and that this whole torturous episode doesn't continue. Whether Grexit takes place or not, though, the whole episode has fundamentally damaged the European Union by undermining the very idea it was built on - solidarity. If you ever get Irish people on the subject of the Great Famine, the essential point they always make is that had the potato blight hit Yorkshire, no one would have starved because London would have come to its aid. Yorkshire is the example used, because it's far away enough  from London but the people are regarded as being the same. The people of Ireland were not, clearly.

Back in the early 1990s when the kind old 17th Duke of Norfolk was special guest at prize-giving night at our school he remarked that in Islam one was allowed up to four wives. ‘What a nightmare,’ he quipped, ‘imagine having four mothers-in-law’ (or something to that effect). I think back at the joke as indicative of a more innocent age; if he had said that now, some little Pavlik Morozov in the assembly would have tweeted his outrage and by the time the Duke left the building he would have been trending on Twitter, forced to step down as governor and the ‘offensive comments’ would be the subject of an investigation by the police.