Cockburn

Cockburn

Mischief, mayhem and Washington gossip. Send tips and party invites to cockburn@thespectator.com.

Roaring Kitty: my role in the GameStop drama

Three weeks after GameStop and Robinhood sent the stock market berserk, Congress is finally catching up. At noon ET, the House Financial Services Committee will hear testimony from several of the major players: Robinhood CEO Vlad Tenev, Citadel CEO Kenneth C. Griffin, Reddit CEO and cofounder Steve Huffman, Melvin Capital CEO Gabriel Plotkin and Keith Patrick Gill. Gill is not a CEO: he is a smalltime investor known as DeepFuckingValue on Reddit and RoaringKitty on YouTube. His posts on the r/wallstreetbets subreddit are credited with setting the GameStop saga into motion. Below is the testimony he will read later today. *** Thank you Chairwoman Waters, Ranking Member McHenry, members of the Committee. Before I go further, I want to be clear about what I am not. I am not a hedge fund.

rich gamestop

Vax bias matters

Canada’s vaccination rollout has gone poorly, to say the least. The country currently ranks just 40th in vaccine doses per capita. It is being soundly whipped by Morocco, Turkey, and Serbia — nations which aren’t known for bragging insufferably about their single-payer healthcare systems. Even worse for Canadians, they trail the United States. For a country that views its identity through the prism of its southern neighbor, this must be a most demoralizing experience. On Monday, Canada’s national advisory committee on immunization announced that 'saving lives' will be shoved violently down the list of priorities in its vaccination drive. Instead, the country is placing a focus on racial equity — 'Black Lives Matter More', if you will.

canada

CNN is complicit in the Cuomo COVID cover-up

Last week, the homepage of CNN announced that 'The story keeps getting worse for Andrew Cuomo on COVID-19.' The story, penned by Chris Cillizza, is gripping. A top aide confessed that the New York governor’s office had 'knowingly undercounted deaths among nursing home residents during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic’. This 'stunning admission’ is 'a very bad look — to say the least’ for an office currently dealing with separate scrutiny over having sent 9,000 patients recovering from coronavirus back to nursing homes. This figure was 40 percent higher than reported originally, indicating that deaths aren’t the only data Cuomo and his team are lying about. But what the CNN piece fails to mention is that the new, damning evidence about Gov.

cuomo

Exclusive: Boebert, McCarthy and Biggs to speak at CPAC

Cockburn has always been a big fan of CPAC. Last year, he strutted around National Harbor with the spirit and energy of a College Republican from a major state school. Things will be slightly different this year: the flagship conservative conference will be held in Orlando, FL due to the intense coronavirus restrictions in the DC area. The change in locale hasn't stopped CPAC from nabbing headline-making speakers. Cockburn has learned from a well-placed source that freshman Colorado representative Lauren Boebert, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, Arizona representative and House Freedom Caucus Chair Andy Biggs and Louisiana representative Mike Johnson will all be speaking at this year's event.

boebert

The Biden administration’s bad romance

In a modern romance reminiscent of the classics, two star-crossed lovers found one another on the fair 2020 campaign trail. Biden campaign national press secretary TJ Ducklo and Axios political reporter Alexi McCammond, who had been friends for years, reportedly started dating in November. McCammond allegedly asked to be moved off of the Biden beat to avoid a conflict. Axios obliged. Ducklo moved into a new role in the White House press shop. And the pair are now engaged to be married. But the story is a bit more complicated, even tragic than that. Not only was McCammond engaged to another man just last summer, she was still writing stories related to Biden and his administration in the months following the beginning of her and Ducklo’s relationship.

ducklo

Everything the Lincoln Project touches dies

Update 2/15 9 p.m. ET: Over the weekend, a number of senior Lincoln Project figures, including co-founder Steve Schmidt, have stepped back from the organization. The Lincoln Project also issued a statement Monday saying that the PAC is retaining the law firm Paul Hastings to 'investigate allegations of inappropriate behavior by John Weaver as part of a comprehensive review of our operations and culture.' This seems like a step in the right direction...let's just hope none of the five Paul Hastings lawyers who donated to the Lincoln Project are on the detail. Best to keep things independent and fair, right guys? *** Who could have predicted that the Lincoln Project would meet with a messier end than Abraham Lincoln?

lincoln project steve schmidt

Something stupid this way comes

The mandarins of Qing China claimed the Mandate of Heaven. The French noblesse d'épée tied their privileges to a thousand years of military service to the kings of France. The nobles of Spain touted their cleanliness of blood, untainted by Jewish or Moorish ancestry. In America, no such backwards justifications are needed. Our elites claim their supremacy on intellectual merit, the power of their brains and the breadth of their knowledge. And to everyone’s misfortune, they really believe it. But how do you prove intellectual superiority past the age of 22, when it can no longer be measured with letter grades and test scores? Warren Buffett and Bill Gates can at least point to their enormous piles of wealth as evidence of intellectual horsepower. But what can journalists do?

Meghan Markle, the perfect Californian politician

Royal summits are often lavish affairs shown to us lowly peasants through photo spreads in Us Weekly and People. Cockburn was surprised therefore to learn of a clandestine meeting between three members of the Californian aristocracy in the British tabloid the Sun. According to the newspaper, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle had a video meeting with California governor Gavin Newsom two weeks before the 2020 election. The Sun points out that Newsom was ‘under pressure to replace California senator Kamala Harris…with another black woman.’ Perhaps the purpose of the Zoom chat was innocent enough — as podcasters, Harry and Meghan are essential workers in the Golden State and deserving of the governor’s thanks.

meghan markle californian politician

Cockburn’s short, handy guide to the new political language

Words have been redefined for political purposes for a long time. In 2021, however, euphemisms are spreading with particular celerity. So Cockburn has decided to proffer the masses a short, handy little guide. Example: the Clubhouse app has become increasingly popular with tech leaders and other mild public figures. But the New York Times’s Taylor Lorenz is mad, because she and other reporters keep getting blocked by the 'far-right' people they want to monitor for potential crimethink. When you don’t want to be perpetually monitored by hostile, frequently dishonest members of the press, it turns out that is an offense against 'accountability.' https://twitter.

political language

All hail the ‘reality czar’!

America has 330 million people, and not all of them are in complete agreement about what is true and what is false. Misinformation is everywhere. One man’s devastating revelation is another man’s fake news. ‘But wait,’ you ask. ‘Why is that bad? Isn’t America a democratic republic, and hasn’t it had factual disagreements its entire history? Hasn’t the country been just fine?’ Nice try, reader. Those old Americans who could put up with different ideas were mentally ill bigots who had never even heard of ‘transwomen of color’. We have the New York Times to guide us. Technology columnist Kevin Roose has a solution for those stubborn Americans who see the world in a different way.

special relationship

Goodbye Edison Academy, so long Lincoln High

Earlier this week, the San Francisco school board voted to scrap the names of 44 schools. It turned out America’s most liberal city had been a hotbed of racism all along. How odd. Last summer’s 'reckoning' of several statues and automobile windows wasn’t enough, so now the 'reckoning' must come. CNN’s Nathan McDermott discovered the Google Doc which the board used to log all the sins of the city’s school namesakes. The document makes it clear that, while the city may be happy to disown Thomas Jefferson, its activist class doesn’t exactly match his mental horsepower. Most of the names stricken have a direct or tangential relation to slavery, so you might expect Abraham Lincoln to be well-regarded.

lincoln

Television isn’t gay enough, says New York Times

It’s headline news at the New York Times: television is getting less gay! America’s paper of record may be uninterested in obscure matters such as Hunter Biden’s laptop or an Intelligence Committee Democrat falling into a Chinese honeypot, but it will always be there for the stories that really matter, such as de facto press releases from activist groups: ‘For the first time in five years, LGBTQ representation on television decreased, an annual report by the LGBT advocacy organization GLAAD has found. The percentage of regular characters scheduled to appear on primetime scripted broadcast television who identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer decreased to 9.1 percent in the 2020-21 season, from the previous year’s record high of 10.2 percent.

gay

We are living in a NeverTrump fantasy universe

Last July, Cockburn had this to say: 'Commentators daydream of the moment Trump is dragged out, like Saddam Hussein from his spider hole, and then whisked off to prison to inaugurate the Democratic millennium. In reality, Donald Trump has shown remarkably little willpower in executing his own completely legal campaign promises. Where will he muster the willpower to overturn a 230-year-old electoral system?' Whoops! Why does The Spectator even employ this cretin? Cockburn thought he was living in the merely cartoon reality of President Donald Trump. In fact, we don’t live in reality at all. We live in a fevered NeverTrump fantasy universe, worthy of the Lincoln Project at its most depraved. https://twitter.com/SteveSchmidtSES/status/1326652665431007236 https://twitter.

nevertrump fantasy universe

Bannon and Viganò: a match made in Heaven

Steve Bannon’s plan to build a great populist ‘movement’ in Europe hasn’t quite yet come to fruition. But the former White House chief strategist has formed an interesting relationship with Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò, a former Apostolic Nuncio to the United States, who these days talks as if he’s been avidly listening to Bannon’s War Room podcast instead of reciting the rosary. The two men have just released an extraordinary interview, in which the prelate describes the connections between what he calls the global ‘Deep State’, that serves China’s interests, and the ‘Deep Church’, led by Bergoglio — or, as most the world knows him, Pope Francis I.

bannon vigano

Should skin color decide who gets the vaccine first?

After eight months of frantic work, several coronavirus vaccines appear ready for launch. But there are 330 million Americans, and decidedly less than 330 million shots right now. So the great question America must ask is, who should receive the vaccine first?At least, it was supposed to be a great question. Mercifully, the New York Times has come forth like the Good Witch of the North to show us the way. Figuring out health policy is easy, it turns out: just decide the best policy based on race.That was the clear message of a Saturday article posing the question: 'The Elderly vs. Essential Workers: Who Should Get the Coronavirus Vaccine First?

vaccine

Does Paul Krugman even read his own columns? 

Cockburn has enjoyed giving teasing liberal opinion leaders for their limitless ability to engage in political projection. But even his patience is wearing thin after the latest atrocity inflicted upon the New York Times opinion page by economist and professional irritant Paul Krugman. Krugman’s latest column, published Monday evening, asks how the coming Biden administration will ever possibly cope with the unprecedented idea of having an opposing party with political disagreements. ‘When Joe Biden is inaugurated, he will immediately be confronted with an unprecedented challenge... he’ll be the first modern US president trying to govern in the face of an opposition that refuses to accept his legitimacy.

paul krugman

Mission accomplished: sunset of the Krassensteins

As 2020 nears its conclusion, many things are coming to an end: Donald Trump’s presidency, America’s superpower status, Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s once-remarkable record of being alive. Now, add another one to the list: the Krassenstein family is quitting Twitter.The Krassenstein family were humans who could only exist in the age of Donald Trump. That is, if they were really human at all; Cockburn is skeptical. Their total obsession with Donald Trump suggested that, like an ant consumed by the cordyceps fungus, their human self may have been hollowed out and wholly replaced by an id of pure anti-Trump derangement.Anyone foolish enough to regularly read Donald Trump’s tweets has seen the Krassensteins.

krassenstein twins krassensteins

In defense of RealClearPolitics

Find a comfortable spot on the carpet, children, the New York Times has a lesson for you all about how to curate editorial content. While fishing through his neighbor's recycling this morning, Cockburn was amused to see, on page A15 of the Times, a piece about his favorite poll aggregators, RealClearPolitics. What on earth could the site have done to earn the scrutiny of the Gray Lady? Brace yourself, dear reader: you may find parts of the report unsettling: '...RealClearPolitics and its affiliated websites have taken a rightward, aggressively pro-Trump turn over the last four years as donations to its affiliated nonprofit have soared.' Dear heavens! Rightward and aggressively pro-Trump?

realclearpolitics
barack obama

Barack Obama’s music taste remains painfully mainstream

Like Moses descending from the heights of Mount Sinai, former president and current prophet Barack Obama has today delivered his latest tome to the masses. A Promised Land, his fourth book, is a 'riveting, deeply personal account of history in the making — from the president who inspired us to believe in the power of democracy'. Or so his publisher says. Cockburn, old-fashioned fellow that he is, has believed in the power of democracy for longer than 12 years. To mark the book's publication, Obama has summoned one of the spirits of his bygone era: he's tweeted out a playlist. 'Music has always played an important role in my life — and that was especially true during my presidency,' he writes.

Saluting the heroes of CNN

They also serve who only stand before the camera and talk nonsense. As the Resistance pick through the rubble of the Trump regime, CNN anchors are counting the cost, and not only in dollars, tens of thousands of which they pocketed for jabbering histrionically around the clock.‘As Election Night 2020 bled into Election Week, the talking heads on CNN became something like members of our families,’ writes Kate Storey at Esquire. Every family has its grandiose narcissists, its liars and sex pests, though not all have a 9/11 truther like Van Jones who can cry on cue.‘I was getting a new coffee every half hour,’ says Jake Tapper, heroically risking simultaneously losing control over both his mouth and his colon.

cnn