Cockburn

A few mornings ago, Cockburn caught Hillary Clinton on one of the CBS morning shows. As it turned out, she was on to discuss the recent Dobbs decision, and she had some choice words for Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. “I went to law school with him," she said. "He’s been a person of grievance for as long as I’ve known him. Resentment, grievance, anger...women are going to die, Gayle. Women will die.” Clinton is entitled to her opinion (though who is she to call anyone else resentful?) but her sentiment on Thomas's statements has been contradicted by none other than Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Thomas’s ideological opposite on the Supreme Court.

While on Bret Baier's Fox News show Special Report, Ohio Democratic Senate candidate Tim Ryan said there should be no abortion restrictions at all, establishing himself as radical even by pro-choice standards. After the overturning of Roe v. Wade by the Supreme Court, Ohio passed a heartbeat bill that restricted abortion after six weeks. Yet Congressman Ryan believes this is too strict. In fact, he believes any kind of restriction is too strict. Ryan said, "Look, you got to leave it up to the woman, because you and I sitting here can’t account for all of the different scenarios that a woman, dealing with the complexities of a pregnancy, are going through. How can you and I figure that out?

While Cockburn is never one to look for trouble, trouble often finds him. And so it was, following his habit of daily strolls through DC's hotspots, he unthinkingly meandered past the Supreme Court this past weekend. The crowds there had diminished in size a few days off from the Dobbs ruling, but they have grown no less fervent. On Saturday, Cockburn encountered speakers touching on subjects of race, revolution and fighting back against the system. There were several signs, along with pro-abortion stickers and pamphlets. At one point, somebody actually gave him a pamphlet featuring rules of revolution (Saul Alinsky would be proud), detailing diverse ways to topple the current governmental system and “replace it with something that benefits everyone.

When Cockburn took a rainy-day stroll past the United States Supreme Court on Thursday, he didn’t expect to see many people. To his surprise, there were several protesters outside, anticipating a decision on Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, which could overturn Roe v. Wade. Cockburn decided to stop and chat with both pro-life and pro-choice demonstrators, briefly catching interviews between shouting matches laced with obscenities and references to genitalia. “Roe is a barbaric remnant of a eugenic past. [It’s] responsible for the murder of 60 million babies," said Terrisa Bukovinac, the founder and executive director of the Progressive Anti-Abortion Uprising.“I believe in equity, nonviolence, and nondiscrimination.

When Cockburn heard the news of Stephen Colbert’s Late Show staffers being arrested at the Capitol, he knew this case was no joke (unlike Colbert's show). On June 16, seven of them were arrested for trespassing in the Longworth House Office Building. The Washington Examiner reports that the Capitol Police said, “Responding officers observed seven individuals, unescorted and without Congressional ID, in a sixth-floor hallway. ...The building was closed to visitors, and these individuals were determined to be a part of a group that had been directed by the USCP to leave the building earlier in the day.” However, this testimony contradicts what Stephen Colbert himself said when he brought it up on his show Monday night.

Cockburn has done his fair share of jail time, mostly on overblown bootlegging charges. Yet after paying his dues to society, he decided to venture to a recent press conference on the situation of those imprisoned after the January 6 riot. The Patriot Freedom Project helps aid the families of the January 6 prisoners with legal costs and living expenses. Now, the organization is advocating for a review of the prison conditions of the inmates. One inmate’s mother said, “The conditions at the DC jail are horrendous. His rations often smelled like cleaning fluid. There were pubic hairs included in the small portions of his food. The drinking water, visibly dirty. Mold was visible in cells, and roaches lived amongst [the prisoners].

Cockburn can’t help but tune into the late-night shows. On Wednesday night, he was spoiled rotten: President Joe Biden showed up on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, kicking off a West Coast tour to revive his declining popularity. While the audience applause lasted more than a minute upon his arrival, Cockburn wasn't quite impressed with the interview. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEtPV-qvLe8&ab_channel=JimmyKimmelLive From the start, it was clear Kimmel would carry the show like a pack mule, clarifying Biden’s points and continually asking questions that led the president towards easy answers, along with the occasional jab at Trump and Fox News. Kimmel kicked off proceedings by asking: “Do you mind if I ask you some serious questions?

Matthew McConaughey came to Cockburn’s hometown of Washington, DC on Tuesday. It was not to say hi, of course, but to advocate for “commonsense gun control” at the White House. McConaughey is a Uvalde native and wanted to speak about the victims, as well as how the government might better regulate firearms. McConaughey spoke about going back to Uvalde and talking to the families of the victims. He said, “We need background checks, we need to raise the minimum age to purchase an AR-15 rifle to 21, we need a waiting period for those rifles, we need red flag laws and consequences for those who abuse them.” He went on Bret Baier’s Fox News show that night to continue opining.

While Cockburn was flipping through the channels last night, he came across Tucker Carlson, whom the media decries as a racist, interviewing Kyle Rittenhouse, whom the media decries as a murderer. Rittenhouse’s lawyer had accompanied him to this interview, and the pair announced that they planned to pull a Sandmann. That is, they want to sue the mainstream media over its smearing of Rittenhouse and the suppression of the facts that would have clarified the circumstances surrounding his shooting of three men in downtown Kenosha during a riot. Other claims have floated that Rittenhouse was a racist. Joe Biden even posted a video implying that Rittenhouse was either a white supremacist or part of a militia group.

Elon Musk recently posted a meme about Jeffrey Epstein and the Department of Justice (DOJ) on Twitter, the brand he's soon (maybe?) hoping to buy. The meme says, “Only thing more remarkable than DOJ not leaking the list is that no one in the media cares. Doesn’t that seem odd?” While Cockburn has nothing but reverence for his governmental overlords, Musk's reference to the Jeffery Epstein/Ghislaine Maxwell client list does stand out as a particularly juicy piece of news. The mainstream media has avoided the list like the Spanish Flu. Doesn’t the average person deserve to know which of their esteemed leaders has taken a trip to the infamous Little Saint James Island?