Cockburn

Cockburn

Mischief, mayhem and Washington gossip. Send tips and party invites to cockburn@thespectator.com.

Friday

Cockburn

What’s on Lana Del Rey’s stolen laptop?

What do Lana Del Rey and Hunter Biden have in common? More than you might think, apparently. Cockburn must admit that he felt a little sorry for the singer after she announced that she was facing a “bit of a roadblock” with her work... after her laptop was stolen. The singer posted to her private Instagram that “a few months ago, I parked my car on Melrose Place and I stepped away for a minute. And the one time I left my backpack inside my car, someone broke all of the windows and took it and inside of it was my computer and my three camcorders and my hard drives.” So, what’s in the bag? Del Rey revealed that she lost her in-progress album after admitting that she did not have any of her work backed up to the cloud and had wiped her computer.

lana del rey

Thursday

Cockburn

Style blog rates Meghan Markle’s funeral ’fits

Whisper it — but Cockburn can’t help but love a funeral. Old churches, black clothes that take a few inches from the waist, the spread is always great and the wake is single-handedly the best after-party anyone, dead or alive, could ask for. But there are a few rules. The first, one that should be glaringly obvious, is not taking smiling selfies for Instagram. Now, Cockburn knows that for a funeral such as Queen Elizabeth II’s, photos are unavoidable. But it seems that the people at Meghan’s Mirror, the style blog devoted to Meghan Markle, are lacking in basic etiquette. A little over a month after the death of the Queen, Meghan’s Mirror has splashed photos of Meghan’s outfit at the events surrounding the Queen’s death on their blog's homepage.

meghans mirror blog

Wednesday

Cockburn

You, too, can ban James Corden from your restaurant

The restaurant world was devastated this week after learning a fact our cousins across the Pond have been telling us for some time: that James Corden is a huge douchebag. The Late Late Show host found himself on the blacklist of swanky New York haunt Balthazar, after owner Keith McNally described the Brit as his “most abusive customer.” Now, one enterprising company that provides signage to restaurants is offering its clients a “free digital sign” to Iet Corden know he’s banned from their establishments too. Australia-based Mandoe Media breathlessly rushed the signs out in a press release. A bit too quickly for Cockburn’s liking, as the company appears to have skipped the spell-checking stage. One reads, “DONT BE LIKE JAMES: TREAT STAFF WITH RESPECT!

james corden
kevin spacey
Cockburn

The craziness of the Kevin Spacey misconduct trial

An antihero, an allegation, a court case, a neo-Nazi. The Kevin Spacey trial has been a hell of a ride and it's barely begun. This week, Spacey has taken the stand as the first witness in his own defense in his sexual misconduct trial, brought forward by actor Anthony Rapp. Best known for his role in Star Trek: Discovery, Rapp claims that in 1986, Spacey, who was twenty-six at the time, invited Rapp, then fourteen, to his New York home. He alleges that Spacey picked him up, laid him down on his bed, grabbed his buttocks and pressed his groin into his body without his consent. Rapp first made his allegation in October 2017. In the eyes of the public, Spacey went from antihero to villain.

Tuesday

Cockburn

J.D. Vance owns Tim Ryan after Ryan calls him a racist

Cockburn watched with delight last night as Ohio’s Democratic candidate for US Senate, Tim Ryan, served up an absurd accusation against Republican candidate J.D. Vance — only to have Vance spike the allegation in Ryan's face with the force of Kerri Walsh Jennings. It all started when one of the debate moderators, in a blasé, 1960s Firing Line kind of way, asked Ryan for his opinion of the Great Replacement Theory, which holds that powerful Jews are conspiring to replace white Americans with minorities and foreigners. Ryan said he thinks the theory is nonsense, “grounded in some of the most racially divisive writings in the history of the world.

work
Cockburn

Sleepy Joe leads the work-from-home crusade

Rejoice, slackers of America! For there is a new figurehead leading your crusade for lunchtime naps, camera-off Zoom meetings and sea-level productivity. Yes, Joe Biden has, finally, excelled at something: he is the president that has spent most time at home. According to CBS News White House correspondent Mark Knoller, who has been meticulously keeping tabs of Biden's days off, since taking the White House as his official residence, the president has traveled to his home in Delaware fifty-five times. Whether he’s practicing his cycling skills, injuring himself while playing with his dogs naked or lounging in his $2.

Monday

Cockburn

Is Candace Owens cashing in on Kanye West?

A great American poet once wrote: I went to the malls and I balled too hard/ “Oh my God, is that a black card?”/ I turned around and replied, “Why yes/ But I prefer the term 'African-American Express.’” How times change. Following a failed presidential run, a bitter divorce and two poorly reviewed records, for Kanye West, “balling too hard” now means buying a right-wing social media site from Candace Owens’s husband. It was announced today that Kanye, who now goes by Ye, is to buy the social media platform Parler, in a move the company characterized as “a bold stance against his recent censorship from Big Tech.

kanye west candace owens parler

Friday

Cockburn

Which royal is attempting to pull a sibling affair chapter from their new tell-all?

Candace Owens fallout at the Daily Wire Cockburn’s spies have heard that the Candace Owens's recent antics have internally divided her colleagues at the Daily Wire. Some found her defense of her buddy Kanye West's antisemitic comments gross, but Jeremy Boreing, the company's CEO, is said to have a soft spot for Candace — and is circling the wagons. In case you missed it: Candace came to Kanye’s defense after he tweeted that he was going to "go death con 3 on Jewish people." Owens claimed that, "If you are an honest person, you did not think this tweet was antisemitic.” That’s right reader: it’s your fault for interpreting it all wrong. Cockburn also hears that the Wire's use of NDAs is keeping disgruntled former staffers quiet.

royal
j.k. rowling
Cockburn

J.K. Rowling laughs all the way to the bank 

In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Ron Weasley uses a levitation spell to knock a troll unconscious. On Thursday evening, his creator J.K. Rowling repeated the feat on Twitter. The world's most highly paid author was asked how she slept at night, "knowing you’ve lost a whole audience from buying your books?" “I read my most recent royalty cheques and find the pain goes away pretty quickly,” she replied. https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1580639051774054404 Now, Cockburn has always been a fan of J.K. Rowling, but her recent years on the right side of the culture war has seen her find a new audience, consisting of people with common sense.

emily ratajkowski
Cockburn

Great! Another podcast about feminism 

Politics, feminism, sex, TikTok. These four topics will form the heart of Emily Ratajkowski’s new podcast High Low with Emrata. Doubtless Cockburn speaks for everyone when he says: praise the gods, a podcast about feminism is just what the market is missing. The new Sony-produced series will consist of two episodes per week. One will see the model and swimwear entrepreneur sit down for intimate conversations with special guests. Perhaps she'll diverge from the Meghan Markle playbook and actually let her guests speak. The second will have Ratajkowski’s own commentary on current events. Cockburn is sure you’re just as excited as him to hear what the model has to say about the Electoral Count Act of 1887 and ballot harvesting.

Thursday

Cockburn

Literary journal in flames after interview with Spectator writer

All is not well at the literary journal Hobart Pulp, Cockburn has learned — and it's all down to one of our mischievous Spectator contributors. His words have caused violence, apparently, as nearly the entire staff of the journal have resigned in protest. Last month, Alex Perez sat down with Hobart Pulp's top editor, Elizabeth Ellen, to discuss the state of the literary and publishing scene — ranging from MFAs to woke writers to how he got his start in writing. Perez, a Latino writer who graduated from the prestigious Iowa Writers Workshop, had some choice words about the cowardice of writers and editors today. The interview, originally posted to the Hobart Pulp website last month, didn't make much of a stir until this week, when its editors and contributors began to take notice.

university alex perez hobart pulp
elon musk ian bremmer
Cockburn

Elon Musk vs Ian Bremmer: who’s telling the truth?

Cockburn wasn’t surprised to hear that Elon Musk had found himself in yet another spat, but he was somewhat shocked to hear that this one was a matter of national security. This week's he-said-she-said involved political scientist Ian Bremmer. In a newsletter sent to his Eurasia Group subscribers, Bremmer wrote that Tesla CEO Musk had told him that Putin was “prepared to negotiate,” but only if Crimea remained Russian, if Ukraine accepted a form of permanent neutrality — and Ukraine recognized Russia’s annexation of Luhansk, Donetsk, Kherson and Zaporizhzhia. So, not asking too much then. Musk hit back in response to a tweet asking whether Bremmer's statement was true, replying: “No, it is not. I have spoken to Putin only once and that was about eighteen months ago.

Wednesday

Cockburn

Study: it’s not Adam Levine’s fault 

After love rat Adam Levine and wife Behati Prinsloo were pictured smiling on a beach were released, it seems that all is well after his cheating scandal erupted two weeks ago. The forty-three-year-old Maroon 5 singer denied cheating on his pregnant wife, after model Sumner Stroh claimed that they had a year-long affair in a TikTok video. Following her admission, two other women came out with messages purportedly from Levine. But could his conduct be down to science? An August study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior journal seems to think so. The authors concluded that infidelity may be contagious. That’s right, hanging out with sleazebags could make you one too.

adam levine cheating

Tuesday

Cockburn

Madonna comes out… as an attention seeker

Another day, another celebrity coming out on the internet. Madonna is the latest: this weekend, the pop icon posted a video on TikTok with the caption, “If I miss, I’m Gay.” The singer then tosses her underwear towards a waste basket, misses and then gestures “Oh well.” https://www.tiktok.com/@madonna/video/7152605555830426923?_t=8WQ5cXPY0Zi&_r=1 Some fans are sending their support for the sixty-four-year-old, who has long been a gay icon. But others are speculating that Madonna is just jumping on the latest bandwagon. Cockburn laughed out loud at a tweet that read, "Doesn’t Madonna do this once every couple of hundred years?" Cockburn has noticed that it now seems passé to be straight, as many ladies scramble to get out of the "straight white woman" box.

madonna

Monday

Cockburn

Republicans endorse Kanye as everyone else slowly backs away

If there is one celeb to not rally behind right now, it’s Kanye West. Over the past few years, the rapper's mental health has steadily declined and his outbursts have become more regular. As he becomes more unhinged, friends who used to come to his defense have realized it’s in their best interest to quiet down. Yet in spite of all that, Cockburn can't help but notice that House Republicans have embraced Kanye. A tweet, which somehow has not been deleted, was posted on Thursday by the House Republicans Twitter account. It reads, "Kanye. Elon. Trump." Not only was the tweet ratio'd within minutes — with quote tweets such as "who are three people we really don’t need to hear from ever again?

Friday

Cockburn

The Right Stuff gets review-bombed

Cockburn has been unlucky in love of late. He’s married. Third time’s the charm, as they say. But for the generations below, the dating world throws up a number of quandaries. In the post-#MeToo era, you can’t meet at work anymore. Bars and clubs took a big hit with Covid. That’s why so many younguns depend on app-based dating these days. But on Bumble and Hinge (Cockburn’s not well known enough for Raya yet), progressive virtue-signaling is apparently all-too-common. “Swipe left if you’re a Republican” and slogans about “dismantling the patriarchy,” “defunding the police” and “BLM/ACAB” plague the profiles of many users. What are the alternatives if you’re on the right? Cockburn always thought “church.

ryann mcenany the right stuff
ye
Cockburn

Tucker Carlson grills Kanye West

Tucker Carlson has tackled a question that has long puzzled Cockburn: is Kanye West crazy? Ye has had his fair share of controversial moments: he appeared on a 2006 cover of Rolling Stone mimicking Jesus Christ with a crown of thorns. He infamously stormed the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards stage to tell Taylor Swift she didn’t deserve her award. For the past couple years, he's been battling ex-wife Kim Kardashian and her family, during which time he also became religious, started hosting Sunday Services and bought a ranch in Cody, Wyoming, which he tried to sell but then took off the market. Most recently, Ye incited establishment ire by wearing a “White Lives Matter” T-shirt alongside conservative firebrand buddy Candace Owens at Paris Fashion Week.

Thursday

Cockburn

Is it ever acceptable to drink wine at a football tailgate?

One of the things Cockburn likes best about working for The Spectator is its unswerving devotion to the policy debates that matter. In that intellectual spirit, and bearing in mind the recent photo of Pennsylvania Republican candidate Dr. Oz holding a glass of Cab at a Penn State tailgate, he's proud to announce our first ever Spectator World symposium, featuring the views of his colleagues. Today's subject: is it ever acceptable to drink wine at a football tailgate? Amber Athey, Washington editor If you’re under the age of forty at a college football tailgate, ideally the only wine you’re drinking is from a box. Acceptable consumption methods are out of an oddly dusty and sticky red solo cup or directly from the spout during a game of "slap the bag.

football

Wednesday

Cockburn

Kanye West is turning into Candace Owens

Cockburn misses the old Kanye, straight from the ’Go Kanye. The rapper, producer, designer and… (what’s the opposite of a mental health advocate?) plumbed new depths this week with his appearance at Paris Fashion Week. West showed up to the launch of his new sneaker line alongside friend and fellow former liberal Candace Owens. Both wore shirts adorned with the slogan “White Lives Matter.” https://twitter.com/RealCandaceO/status/1577000138131656704 “White Lives Matter,” of course, was a common retort to the “Black Lives Matter” maxim that emerged in 2013 after George Zimmerman’s acquittal for the shooting of Trayvon Martin.

kanye west candace owens