Cockburn

Cockburn

Mischief, mayhem and Washington gossip. Send tips and party invites to cockburn@thespectator.com.

Wednesday

Cockburn

Ron Klain ruins Thanksgiving

Top Twitter user Ron Klain is at it again. This time, the terminally online White House chief of staff tweeted out a list of talking points to bring up when your Uncle goes after Joe Biden at Thanksgiving dinner. Putting aside the fact that uncle should only be capitalized when it is being used as a proper noun, Cockburn is stunned at the daftness of the compilation. https://twitter.com/WHCOS/status/1595414110438662144 Klain claims that “gas prices are down by $1.35/gallon since June and inflation is moderating”, which while technically true, requires you to ignore the fact that gas prices were over $4.90/gallon in June. He uses the same laughable logic regarding inflation: it has "moderated" from a multiple-decade’s high of 9.1 percent in June to a still painful 7.

ron klain

Tuesday

Cockburn

Revealed: which industries have lost the most workers this year?

The Great Resignation continues, with a new study revealing that employees in many industries are quitting at higher rates than 2021. Accommodation and food services lost 5.8 percent of its workforce — 773,600 workers — in 2022, an increase of about 128,000 over the same period in 2021. Retail lost 3.82 percent, or about 600,000 workers, though this is 109,000 fewer than the same period in 2021. In third is the entertainment sector at 3.58 percent, accounting for 82,200 jobs, rising 7,000 compared to 2021. These industries happen to be where employees are in closest contact with customers — which would probably cause Cockburn to quit too, given how rude folks can be. Manufacturing and mining, by contrast, saw 2.42 and 2.3 percent respectively.

quitting
milo yiannopoulos
Cockburn

Why is Milo Yiannopoulos working for Kanye’s 2024 campaign?

Just eighteen days after Kanye West vowed that he was taking a thirty-day cleanse from talking, drinking alcohol, watching porn and having sex, the disgraced rapper is back. And like his idol Donald Trump, he's even announced a 2024 presidential bid. If at first you don’t succeed, maybe don’t try again? In a video shared on YouTube this weekend, Kanye revealed far-right provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos as a new campaign staffer. "This is Milo right here, working on the campaign," the mogul said. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1FQXbqRuMs&ab_channel=X17onlineVideo When the cameraman asked if that was an announcement, Kanye laughed as Milo confirmed: "I guess it is. Thanks, I accept." The cameraman then asked Kanye: "So you are running?

Monday

Cockburn

Naomi Biden’s White House wedding: in pictures

Wedding bells are ringing! President Joe Biden’s granddaughter, Naomi, was treated to a White House wedding to Peter Neal over the weekend. The ceremony was the nineteenth White House wedding — and the first for a presidential family member held on the grounds since the Clinton era. Naomi's nuptials come just a week after Tiffany Trump's private wedding in Mar-a-Lago. And the pair have more than November weddings in common: Tiffany and Naomi overlapped at the prestigious University of Pennsylvania, the Ivy League college that Donald Trump attended. Cockburn's spies claim they even used to be spotted at the same parties. The Biden wedding was also a strictly behind-closed-doors affair.

naomi biden wedding

Friday

Cockburn

The Qatar World Cup is sport’s Fyre Festival

Two days before the start of the FIFA World Cup in Qatar, authorities have decided to ban the sale of alcohol within the eight stadiums hosting matches. Only non-alcoholic options will be available. Cockburn is appalled at the audacity of such a move — soccer without booze!? How will anyone cope? Beer will apparently be available at the Fan Festival among other areas, but that's little consolation. Not to mention the fact that Budweiser had a sponsorship deal with FIFA for the World Cup. Who knew that the Gulf nation could be so ruthless? (Lots of people.) Qatar is already struggling to attract fans, with inadequate lodging options and incredibly high fees.

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elizabeth holmes
Cockburn

Elizabeth Holmes’s new sidekick

NRSC OOO The National Republican Senate Committee has found itself under the microscope lately as the post-election finger-pointing intensifies. They have faced calls for a review of the GOP campaign arm's spending, after chairman Senator Rick Scott blamed "unauthorized and improper bonuses" awarded to staff. Cockburn can’t help but wonder if the NRSC would be better prepared for this flurry of bad press had they not let their comms staff work remotely all summer... *** Holmes’s new sidekick Elizabeth Holmes, the disgraced Theranos founder, has got herself a fanboy.

Thursday

Cockburn

The best places to watch the Qatar World Cup in DC

Winter is just around the corner — and you know what that means: the Soccer World Cup? Yes, as sleigh bells ring and children listen, a motley crew of twenty- and thirtysomething millionaires will be kicking balls around in hastily constructed stadiums in the desert. The tournament is in Qatar for the first time — not known as a great footballing nation (their men’s team has never qualified on merit), but the head of their FA was deputy head of FIFA during Sepp Blatter’s appallingly corrupt tenure, so that’s got to be a good enough reason to host it there. In the middle of the regular season. In new arenas that thousands of migrant workers died building.

world cup qatar

Wednesday

Cockburn

Meghan Markle: America’s laziest interviewer

Remember Oprah Winfrey's bombshell "interview" with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry earlier this year, in which she stroked her subjects’ egos and failed to probe them on any of their hyperbolic claims? Well, Cockburn has found an even worse interviewer than Oprah: Meghan Markle. Listening to Archetypes, Meghan’s podcast about "dissecting labels," Cockburn found it a little weird that the guests never spoke over each other. You’d think that as the interviewees they’d try and get a word in edgeways through Meghan’s babbling. After labeling the show a "candid conversation" it seems the conversation is actually happening without Meghan. One of the podcast guests has revealed that she didn't actually speak to Meghan for the show in an Instagram post.

meghan markle podcast racism

Monday

Cockburn

HOW?! Pete Davidson dating Emily Ratajkowski

Ladies and gentlemen, he’s done it again. Pete Davidson is reportedly dating Emily Ratajkowski: model, businesswoman and certified stunner. The news isn’t that shocking to Cockburn after seeing the string of babes Davidson has dated in the past. The list includes Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale, Margaret Qualley, Kaia Gerber, Phoebe Dynevor and most recently Kim Kardashian. Pete’s whirlwind romance with Kardashian ended earlier this year after just nine months together. Thank goodness Skete got rid of his tattoos dedicated to Kim that read, “My girl is a lawyer,” and also the initials of Kim and her four kids; KNSCP, representing North, Saint, Chicago and Psalm.

pete davidson emily ratajkowski
tiffany trump wedding
Cockburn

Tiffany Trump’s Mar-a-Lago wedding: in pictures

After a rough week — in which American voters rejected several of his handpicked candidates at the polls — at least Donald Trump got to wind down at his daughter Tiffany’s wedding at Mar-a-Lago. It should have been one of the best days of the former president’s life, but as the Champagne was flowing and Trump was making a heartfelt father-of-the-bride speech at the reception, the Democrats gained control of the Senate. Cockburn had a snoop at the special day. Here are some of the best pics:   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Ivanka Trump (@ivankatrump) To Trump's credit, he makes some good-looking daughters. Clearly Ivanka got the memo that they needed "something blue.

Friday

Cockburn

Scoop: top GOP donors to meet in Miami in plot to stop Trump

Everybody hates Donald? An emergency gathering is set to be held in Miami next week to talk about “the Trump problem,” a source tells Cockburn. Steve Wynn and other big-shot GOP donors are said to want to “move on from Trump,” so are coming together to decide how to keep him from securing the 2024 nomination. The former president has been said to be in a “terrible mood” and “throwing regular tantrums” after the failure of his chosen candidates in the midterms. He is also facing mutiny from previously die-hard fans who adored him before Tuesday, such as: Candace Owens: "Trump needs to take a good look in the mirror and he needs to take a good look in the room, and he needs to read the room accurately.

duchess trump

Thursday

Cockburn

WATCH: Germans are dancing to stay warm this winter

The world's eyes have been on America this week, thanks to the midterms. Cockburn, however has been gazing across the Atlantic with amusement. A new dance class is being offered in Germany called "Let’s Move — Tanzt Euch Warm," or "dance yourselves warm," to combat rising energy costs as the temperature falls. https://twitter.com/reuters/status/1590588816716242944 Watching the footage of the chilly krauts cha-cha-cha-ing, Cockburn can’t help but recall former president Donald Trump’s speech to the United Nations back in 2018, where he warned that "Germany will become totally dependent on Russian energy." At the time, the German delegation laughed and shook their heads at what they considered yet another absurd broadside from the American president. https://twitter.

tanzt euch warm
Cockburn

Hurricane Nicole backs Ron DeSantis over Trump

The red wave didn’t happen, but Mother Nature is unleashing waves of torrential rain on Mar-a-Lago ahead of the wedding of Donald Trump’s daughter, Tiffany, to billionaire Michael Boulos, set for this weekend. Cockburn can’t help but marvel how Hurricane Nicole spared Ron DeSantis’s reelection on Tuesday, but is now, along with Republicans everywhere, unleashing some Old Testament-style vengeance on the Trump family. Tiffany Trump is reportedly “flipping out” as Mar-a-Lago has been partially evacuated and staff sent home ahead of the impending storm. Much like the red wave Trump was prepared to take credit for, Page Six reports that many Trump friends “might not make it” to the party (just as they failed to make it to their own victory parties earlier this week).

Wednesday

Cockburn

Is Mastodon the new Twitter?

It’s been less than two weeks since Elon Musk took over Twitter — and Cockburn is finding the app more chaotic than ever. The news of the tech takeover really separated the kids from the grown-ups. One by one, the haughtiest users have bravely announced their departure from the bird website. Ciao! The latest to go is the British actor Stephen Fry, who posted a picture of Scrabble letters spelling out "goodbye" to his 12.5 million followers. He’s since headed over to Mastodon. Never heard of it? Neither had Cockburn until he got his tech-savvy nieces to give him a hand. And now he can say, with authority, that it is even worse than Twitter. When signing up to Mastodon, users choose a "server," which is based on your interests. "Mindly.

mastodon

Tuesday

Cockburn

Trump calls for McConnell’s ouster on eve of election

Former president Donald Trump called for Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell to be replaced by Senator Rick Scott during a rally in Ohio late Monday night. Cockburn is not terribly surprised that the former president would choose to attack his party a day before what promises to be a Republican wave — after all, he's aligned with the voices on the left who consider the GOP "the Trump Party." Trump branded McConnell a “lousy leader,” saying he “has been very bad for our nation” and “very bad for the Republican Party.” He also praised Scott as a “very talented guy” who is the “likely candidate” to replace McConnell.

mitch mcconnell
Cockburn

Rich, scared celebs back pseudo-Republican Rick Caruso for LA mayor

Nothing brings people together quite like crazy, violent homeless people destroying your city. So it is that a hodgepodge of Hollywood types — Snoop Dogg, Kim Kardashian, Elon Musk, Gwyneth Paltrow, Katy Perry, Chris Pratt, Maria Shriver, Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos and billionaire Robert Kraft and his wife — are publicly supporting Rick Caruso, the former Police Commission president, Republican-turned-Democrat running for Los Angeles mayor against Democratic congresswoman Karen Bass. Caruso’s campaign message is one that resonates in a rundown city rife with crime.

rick caruso
Cockburn

WaPo calls out Biden’s lies with ‘Bottomless Pinnochio’ award

Cockburn’s monocle popped out of his head and plopped into his oatmeal yesterday morning as he perused the Washington Post. “A Bottomless Pinocchio for Biden — and other recent gaffes,” read the headline. Surely “gaffe” has come to mean “lovable quirk” when applied to Democrats? And “Pinocchio” must refer somehow to the way in which Italian puppets are marginalized? But no — the Post straight-up published “a roundup of some of the president’s recent errors of fact” and reiterated, a day before the midterm elections mind you, the “gaffe machine” nickname Joe Biden gave himself. First on the Post’s fact-check list is Biden’s repeated claim that he “spent a lot of time — more time with Xi Jinping than any other head of state.

Friday

Cockburn

Why Tiffany Cross got the ax

Weekend host Tiffany Cross has been cut from MSNBC. According to Variety, "MSNBC decided not to renew Cross’s contract after two years... and severed ties with her immediately." The trade paper is rather euphemistic in its description of why Cross was shown the door: Executives at the network [were] growing concerned about the anchor’s willingness to address statements made by cable-news hosts on other networks and indulging in commentary executives felt did not meet the standards of MSNBC or NBC News. Allow Cockburn to translate: Cross was becoming burdensome to the network for her regular rash remarks.

tiffany cross
trump 2024
Cockburn

Sources: Trump 2024 is staffing up — names revealed

Sources: Trump 2024 team forming After Axios’s report that Trump is set to announce a 2024 run on November 14 — and his own tease at yesterday’s rally — sources tell Cockburn that the campaign team is firming up. As Cockburn reported last week, Chris LaCivita is being strongly considered for campaign manager. Cockburn also hears that Michael Glassner, who was the COO of Trump 2020, will return, along with advisor Boris Epshteyn and Steve Bannon associate Alexandra Preate. Epshteyn is said to be particularly close to Trump and has advised him on major legal issues. Carl Higbie is also said to be under consideration for a high-level role. Trump is supposedly already making calls about jobs in his future administration. Time to update your résumés!