Cockburn

It’s been a rough few days over at MSNBC. Since the attempted assassination on Donald Trump over the weekend, the network seems to be the one unable to regain its footing. From J-13 truthers to The Lord of the Rings conspiracies, here’s Cockburn’s rundown of everything that's gone wrong so far. Much like Joe Biden’s weekly routine, MSNBC got off to a shaky start on Monday after it pulled Morning Joe from air following the shooting in Butler, Pennsylvania. Executives were worried Mika Brzezinski planned to pull out her hand-stitched Trump voodoo doll. Whatever the couple had cooked up, Joe Scarborough was not happy that they weren’t able to pull it off.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin Cockburn is currently drinking his first half-decent coffee of the Republican National Convention in the media filing center, bleary eyed after two nights of aggressive socializing. Wisconsin is supposed to be famous for its beer and cheese — but it’s overcooked burgers and watery cold brew that have been keeping your devoted correspondent functional in the sweltering Midwest heat. (If anyone has any food recommendations in Milwaukee, please, for the love of God, email them to cockburn@thespectator.com.) His first social soirée was an impromptu Monday cocktail with Liz Truss, the former British PM who was recently de-MP’d in Labour’s landslide victory.

Even amid inner Democratic turmoil over his capability to stay in office, President Joe Biden refuses to step down. In terms of proving he is too diminished to run, Cockburn is not sure what more evidence the Democratic Party needs. Biden mumbled through his Complex news interview with Speedy Morman on Friday. A few people in the comments on the interview said they had to turn on subtitles to understand him. Biden also said, “In 2020 when Barack asked me to vice president...” Cockburn can forgive the guy for making a simple mistake, having been Barack Obama’s VP from 2009-2017. And yet with repeated evidence of memory mix-ups — not pertaining to normal, everyday mistakes, but to serious questions of mental acuity — each infraction is increasingly concerning.

Pressure is mounting on President Joe Biden to step aside in the 2024 election, as members in Congress voice their doubts about the Democratic Party's chances in November with the eighty-one-year-old at the top of the ticket. Democrat unity began to crumble last week when Lloyd Doggett became the first lawmaker to call on Joe Biden to withdraw from the 2024 election, launching a growing maelstrom in the House. Then on Wednesday, Vermont’s Peter Welch became the first Democratic senator to join the fray. It’s simple — for the sake of democracy, they argue, Biden must go so an unelected nominee chosen by the DNC can be jammed in his place.

With the Republican National Convention just around the corner, Cockburn sees only three possible options when it comes to Donald Trump announcing his VP pick. And according to the former president in an interview with Sean Hannity Monday night, he’d “love to do it during the convention," but "my people say that’s a little complicated.” Trump is hosting a rally in Pennsylvania on Saturday night. With the RNC on Monday in Milwaukee, this could be prime time for Trump to make the VP announcement. Because his “people say it’s a little complicated” to do it during the convention, this would give the party a day or so to get their ducks in a row. “You know in the old days they would announce the vice president during the convention.

Gretchen Whitmer’s memoir, True Gretch, couldn’t have been released at a more suspect time. As the Michigan governor disavows calls for Joe Biden to step down as the Democratic nominee, the book and its subsequent national tour seem to indicate that a self-interested plot is in the works. And without any disastrous revelations about shooting her dog, it could very well work.  True Gretch hides Whitmer’s national ambitions behind the facade of a relatable working mom. The memoir is divided into self-help entitled chapters, like “Be a Happy Warrior” and “Seek to Understand,” with examples of Whitmer overflowing with the eponymous virtue in each. She's real Midwestern nice, for example, and once even sent a birthday cake to a state senator who called her “batshit crazy.

If you thought the Democrats couldn’t humiliate themselves any more, well, think again. In a cringeworthy pre-recorded skit played during the Black Entertainment Television Awards on Sunday night, Vice President Kamala Harris appeared on a phone call with host Taraji P. Henson where they both expressed their concern about the upcoming presidential election. https://twitter.com/MeghanEMurphy/status/1807896843738927469 The skit was done as a parody rap song, quoting Kendrick Lamar’s song "Not Like Us," part of the Drake-Kendrick rivalry. The song specifically mocked Drake for dating younger women, accusing him of being a pedophile. “Madam VP Harris,” Henson starts off, “I’m worried about the election.

Tonight America’s oldest president takes on his loose cannon predecessor in the first presidential debate in Atlanta. Presidents Biden and Trump have faced waves of speculation regarding their respective mental conditions — and whether or not each is fit to hold office. Given their ages and stages, Biden and Trump have been accused of suffering from cognitive decline, dementia or Alzheimer’s. And this evening, both candidates’ mental states will be on full display for millions of Americans to closely watch and scrutinize. Will the two even make it through the ninety-minute debate without shouting at each other and endless rambling? The odds are low.

Melania Trump might not return to DC full-time for Trump’s possible second term, according to Axios. The article is predicated on a survey of a “handful of Melania-ologists,” because a spokesperson for Melania didn’t respond to Axios’s request for comment. As the article mentioned: “Melania does what Melania wants” — and Cockburn doesn’t blame her one bit. In February, when asked if Melania would be on the campaign trail much, Donald Trump said: “She was a very successful model, very, very successful, and yet she was a private person. She’s going to be out a lot. Not because she likes doing it, but she likes the results.” The former first lady, however, has not been in attendance at most of Trump’s campaign events.