Chadwick Moore

A few years ago we were shocked after a family member gave birth. The pregnancy itself wasn’t a surprise, she was about to be a single mom, we were excited and supportive. But the beautiful, brand new creature she brought forth into the world didn’t look exactly as we expected.‘Chad, she’s white,’ the mom told me when I called to congratulate her, as confused and startled as I was. She’d been laid up in the maternity ward doing a bit of math to figure out who the dad was. We were both slightly disappointed. For months we looked forward to the jolt on her own mother’s face when a caramel little baby plopped into the room.

In 2017, Seattleites nearly elected a slam poet as mayor. The 31-year-old biracial, queer, poetry artist and community organizer named Nikkita Oliver came in a close third to be the city’s top executive. While on the campaign trail at a slam poetry club, Oliver said the best way to push back against the Trump administration and to achieve a ‘real sanctuary city that is about equity,’ voters in Seattle must cast their ballot for her genitalia. ‘When you go into a community that is struggling and you put the money in a woman’s hands it’s more likely to benefit the community as a whole. This is science, y’all,’ she said being interviewed on a dimly-lit stage by a Gargantua of indeterminate sex or ethnicity sporting a bowtie and trucker hat.

The left is really going to hyperventilate once they realize during World War Two Christian Dior, along with most French designers, made dresses for the wives of literal Nazis in occupied France. The fashion house that carries his name has come under attack for ‘racism’ and ‘cultural appropriation,’ after running an ad for its Sauvage perfume that featured overly flattering depictions of Native Americans. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYyGHOwxjUY Fortunately, anyone who’d get upset by this can’t afford Dior, so the idea of a boycott never occurred to them, but the online left screamed regardless, causing Dior to remove the ad from Twitter.

The march to war! The beat of keyboards resounded across the land as thousands of our brave xirs in black answered their nation’s call to arms last weekend. They were men, women, and miscellaneous, briefly leaving behind all the comforts of a boozy brunch or Saturday morning Etsy shopping spree in order to defend democracy against fascism at whatever the cost. Flabby in body but firm in spirit, prepared to conquer any obstacle in their path, this civilian army, joined by the fearless allies in Hollywood led by General Chrissy Teigen arrived at the Twitter front to defend our way of life from Hospitaliano! axis forces.

One night in November 2013, I found myself slurping down sturgeon caviar and salted pork with about a dozen slobbering, obese, gay oligarchs at a dacha outside Moscow. I’d been sent to Russia to report on the lives of gays there under a vague, new law that prohibited ‘LGBT propaganda' and a journalist invited me out to the country for the night to meet some local influential homosexuals. At first, the scene had all the trappings of the odd and colorful situations that I lived to write about. I’d been in Russia about a week and after speaking to activists, American expats, journalists and everyday Russians, a more nuanced portrait of the country emerged than the hysteria Western media pumped out for months over the anti-gay legislation.

Hold the MAGA hat. Feel its embroidery. Try it on. Now look at yourself in the mirror. Tell me your stress levels right now. A California mental health professional believes a presumed joke on the internet is quietly being taken very seriously by colleagues. ‘I’ve seen this a few times over the last couple years, and I finally put two and two together,’ the mental health worker told me. The source, who requested anonymity citing workplace bigotry, was scrolling through a private message board for professionals in the field and saw a therapist asking where to find ‘Trump paraphernalia to be used in sessions with patients.’ ‘I realized, oh wow, they’re doing exposure therapy to treat TDS!’ the source said.