Anonymous

The Classic Car Bore

From our UK edition

Gerald’s just back from Florence. Two-and-a-half-thousand miles in the old Aston, thunderous straight six booming all over the Alps. ‘Took the Gothard Pass out of Switzerland. Bloody marvellous. You could hear us coming three valleys away! The old girl almost boiled over at seven thousand feet. The Aston was pretty, hot too, hahaha, wasn’t she, Lucinda?’  Long-suffering Lucinda, who has been married to Gerald for 48 challenging years, has heard all the stories before and only winces inwardly.

The Young Wine Drinker

From our UK edition

Milo – born Rupert Myles Baxter-Stuart-Lane – is a self-proclaimed ‘wine wanker’. He is 27 years old, works at a B-Corp production and social content agency, lives in Stoke Newington, and dreams of running a wine bar in Clapton in the hope that Topjaw might someday notice him. His favourite film is Sideways. He watched it for the first time last month. He even has a tattoo to prove it: ‘I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot.’ The tattoo is on his left buttock. After enough biodynamic Zweigelt, he’ll be happy to show it to you.  Milo likes to say that he ‘came to wine late’. This is a complete lie.

The Wedding Celebrant

From our UK edition

If you google ‘Wedding celebrants, Surrey’, the fourth name to come up is ‘Lynda Bassette: With You for All Life’s Special Moments’. Farnham-based but willing to travel across the UK and abroad, Lynda also does funerals and baby naming ceremonies, so ‘the full wrap-around care’, as she calls it. But weddings are her favourite. Though divorced herself, she’s always been a true romantic at heart. ‘I’m in love with love!’ she tells her couples when they first get in touch.   She’s struggling to get her name more prominent on Google. It’s proving hard in a county where every other woman wanting a life-change seems to be completing the online celebrancy course and setting up as a sole practitioner.

The Prep School Mother

From our UK edition

Tilly’s children now refuse to tell her when another one bites the dust. Recently, they joke, they have been able to see the whites of her eyes when they say that Ludo or Verity has been pulled out of school because his or her parents have been hit by VAT on school fees. When Tilly quizzes them about the parents’ finances, they roll their eyes and tell her to stop being so nosy.  Standing on the steps of the children’s smart prep schools in Kensington, Tilly partakes in the faux-martyrdom of the other mothers about how they all have to tighten their belts now that school fees have rocketed, but she knows they’re not really suffering: they’ve all just come back from Verbier and are about to load their offspring into sleek black Range Rovers.

The lapsed Catholic

From our UK edition

Dominic, known since his teens as Dom, enjoys telling people that he’s Catholic, or a ‘left-footer’ as he sometimes modestly describes himself. He feels it a distinction that gives him a bit of mystique in the financial services circles in which he moves. Non-Catholics are often mildly interested in his education by monks, his views of the papacy and whether he goes along with all the ‘rules’. But while Dom has lots to say on the matter, the truth is that the devout Catholicism of his upbringing is receding into distant memory, kept alive by a kind of niggling unease on Sunday mornings when he must decide whether or not to go to church.

The political gossip

From our UK edition

If you’re at a high-profile but dreary launch of a political memoir at Daunt Books or find yourself in the Red Lion in Westminster any weeknight after six, Samuel Ordington-Mortimer will almost certainly be there, too. You usually hear him before you see him: a braying, gleefully indiscreet voice regaling his listeners with the latest salacious tidings at top volume.   By the time he hoves into view, a florid figure whose flushed cheeks perfectly match his claret-coloured trousers, you can expect either a cry of ‘dear boy’ or ‘darling girl’, regardless of how well you know him. There then follows a parade of cheek-kissing, occasionally with a ‘friendly’ squeeze on the arm or buttock, depending on how many glasses of wine have been consumed that evening.

I’m a junior doctor – here’s why I won’t be striking

From our UK edition

The British Medical Association (BMA) has this week announced a new four-day strike for junior doctors, which will take place after the Easter bank holiday. The strike will lead to the NHS having a reduced service for ten days in a row, when you include the two bank holidays and weekends. I am a junior doctor, and have not and will not be striking.  Before explaining why, it is worth making clear who will be on strike this Easter. The term junior doctor encompasses the majority of doctors under consultant level, which for most doctors lasts around five to ten years after graduation.

Confessions of the Secret Suburban Trump Moms: Maryland

Make no mistake about it, I’m a suburban middle-class mom of two and a Trump supporter. I have been ever since I saw him coming down that escalator. I’m voting for Donald Trump because he has clear, defined goals for Americans — all Americans — and for America. Despite the left’s constant attacks on him, he persists and delivers — that’s tenacity. He doesn’t back down. He’s a fighter and that’s what we need for our country, now more than ever. When I voted for him in 2016, I saw this man as more of a regular American than any career politician. What you see is what you get. Just the truth — that’s what we needed in 2016 and what we still need in 2020.

maryland

Confessions of the Secret Suburban Trump moms: Ohio

Suburban women are understood to be one of the most crucial demographic groups in the presidential election on November 3. Many pollsters currently predict that President Donald Trump will lose due to his unpopularity with that category of voters. But have the Democrats really reclaimed the suburbs? Or are there more likely Republican voters than the polls suggest? The Spectator tracked down a series of so-called ‘closet Trump’ voters, women from the suburbs who would never publicly voice their support for the President for fear of recrimination in their social circles. These are their stories. Columbus, Ohio I am a conservative Republican woman and my Christian faith is the foundation of my family. My faith is constantly under attack by Democrats.

ohio

Confessions of the Secret Suburban Trump Moms: Arizona

Suburban women are understood to be one of the most crucial demographic groups in the presidential election on November 3. Many pollsters currently predict that President Donald Trump will lose due to his unpopularity with that category of voters. But have the Democrats really reclaimed the suburbs? Or are there more likely Republican voters than the polls suggest? The Spectator tracked down a series of so-called ‘closet Trump’ voters, women from the suburbs who would never publicly voice their support for the President for fear of recrimination in their social circles. These are their stories.ArizonaI voted for Trump in 2016, and I absolutely cannot wait to vote for him again in 2020. The President has lived up to every expectation I had of him.

arizona

Confessions of the secret suburban Trump moms: Minnesota

Suburban women are understood to be one of the most crucial demographic groups in the presidential election on November 3. Many pollsters currently predict that President Donald Trump will lose due to his unpopularity with that category of voters. But have the Democrats really reclaimed the suburbs? Or are there more likely Republican voters than the polls suggest? The Spectator tracked down a series of so-called ‘closet Trump’ voters, women from the suburbs who would never publicly voice their support for the President for fear of recrimination in their social circles. These are their stories. Suburban women are understood to be one of the most crucial demographic groups in the presidential election on November 3.

minnesota

Confessions of the secret suburban Trump moms: California

Suburban women are understood to be one of the most crucial demographic groups in the presidential election on November 3. Many pollsters currently predict that President Donald Trump will lose due to his unpopularity with that category of voters. But have the Democrats really reclaimed the suburbs? Or are there more likely Republican voters than the polls suggest? The Spectator tracked down a series of so-called ‘closet Trump’ voters, women from the suburbs who would never publicly voice their support for the President for fear of recrimination in their social circles. These are their stories.CaliforniaBefore Donald Trump arrived on the political stage, I felt like I was living in an alternate universe, politically speaking.

trump

Confessions of the secret suburban Trump moms: Pennsylvania

Suburban women are understood to be one of the most crucial demographic groups in the presidential election on November 3. Many pollsters currently predict that President Donald Trump will lose due to his unpopularity with that category of voters. But have the Democrats really reclaimed the suburbs? Or are there more likely Republican voters than the polls suggest? The Spectator tracked down a series of so-called ‘closet Trump’ voters, women from the suburbs who would never publicly voice their support for the President for fear of recrimination in their social circles. These are their stories.

pennsylvania

Confessions of the secret suburban Trump moms: Virginia

Suburban women are understood to be one of the most crucial demographic groups in the presidential election on November 3. Many pollsters currently predict that President Donald Trump will lose due to his unpopularity with that category of voters. But have the Democrats really reclaimed the suburbs? Or are there more likely Republican voters than the polls suggest? The Spectator tracked down a series of so-called 'closet Trump' voters, women from the suburbs who would never publicly voice their support for the President for fear of recrimination in their social circles. These are their stories. Northern VirginiaI have always thought of myself as someone who is honest with others.

suburban trump moms

Diary of a Bloomberg staffer

Dear Diary, Another day on Team Mike. Or should I say Team Mic? It’s like a reunion around here. Half of our reporters and literally the entire back office staff are aboard the good ship Bloomberg and we are living LARGE. Free pizza for lunch every day that we don’t have to beg for on GoFundMe. Booze flowing like water. Damn sushi. This morning when I got here (and yes, it was still technically morning) there was an omelet station. I literally haven’t had it so good since prep school. Williams was a dump compared to this.Honestly, I’d have left journalism ages ago if I’d known how great life is when you’re making more than 60 grand a year on top of the old trust fund. I moved to Brooklyn.

bloomberg staffer

Confessions of a White House staffer: Nato and nutty professors

While it’s a bit disappointing to be back at work after a few days off for Thanksgiving, the staff definitely seems to be in a cheerier mood than normal thanks to Christmas being just a few weeks away. We were finishing up the final touches on the White House Christmas decorations over the weekend, including making some last minute edits on Melania’s video reveal. It almost seems like a waste to spend so much time on preparations, because we know the media is going to dump on them anyway.But we were able to get back at the media in a small way — scheduling the press tour of the decorations for 5 a.m. on a Monday morning. It was pretty satisfying to see them shivering out in the cold with bags under their eyes.

christmas decorations nato

Confessions of a White House staffer: talking turkey

The Rose Garden became a makeshift petting zoo this week as POTUS played host to several animals before heading to the Winter White House for the Thanksgiving holiday. Shockingly, I am not referring to Rudy Giuliani and his comms team, which is headed up by a 20-year-old with less work experience than a McDonald’s fry cook.Instead, the press shop wranglers had to use their skills on Conan, the special forces dog from the al-Baghdadi raid, and Butter (or was it Bread?) the turkey. Realistically, it was not that different from keeping Playboy’s Brian Karem from crossing the rope line, except for when the turkey briefly escaped from his handler in upper press. Hopefully no one tells Janet why there are feathers on her desk.

turkey

Confessions of a White House staffer: forgotten coffees and flustered phone calls

Things have been frantic over the last few days, as I've been forced to assist one of my bosses in working out the promotional schedule for their book release...without revealing who they are. It's tough enough to deal with TV bookers and managing editors when the author's identity is no secret — but the real exhaustion comes from the cloak-and-dagger routine of ensuring no one high up notices a 'senior administration official' moving meetings to call his (or her!) literary agents and fire off excerpts to his (or her!) buddies Rachel and Yashar. It’s a lot easier to book a senior admin official when you know they’re going to say something bad about POTUS.

coffee staffer

Confessions of a White House staffer

Oh no, the pipes in Stephen Miller's office are leaking again. We need to fix them and apparently it’s up to me stop the place flooding. I’m pretty sure this is not what I majored in polisci at UVA for, but whatever. Miller’s burst pipes end up dampening everyone who is trying to make immigration reform happen. Word is that Kirstjen Nielsen and Kevin McAleenan both suffered a dousing. Miller’s been told to keep his office in better order. He looks a bit upset. Could be worse, I wanted to tell him, at least his sprayed-on hair didn’t get wet. Another day passes without Hogan Gidley doing a press conference. The hacks are started to mock him openly. The deputy press secretary has been in his role since 2017, and still hasn’t made it to the podium.

white house staffer

2271: I’m not here or there

From our UK edition

All but one of the unclued lights can be preceded by the same word, large or small. Solvers are requested to highlight the other thematic solution which does not follow this pattern. Brewer confirms the theme. Across 3    Acrylic pot he refashioned in copper and iron compound (12) 11    33 returning after the usual time (4) 12    Accountant’s car by hill (7) 16    Educated, but lacking a CD for reviewing piece of music (5) 18    Not much life in a cell?