Anne Jolis

It was October 2010 the night the priest came to our door. The knock startled Tim’s dullard beagle into a howl just as Tim’s mother was serving up dinner. She and her husband had flown in from New York a few weeks earlier to care for their dying son. Tim and I had moved to London the year before. Our friends — newsroom colleagues — visited sometimes, though only with advance notice. Tim’s brain tumour had severely blunted his wit. I was prone to crying jags. As a couple, we did not inspire drop-ins. Tim’s mother told us to start eating and went to answer the knock. The beagle ricocheted in frenzy between food and front door. ‘Charity collectors,’ Tim’s father guessed.‘They love targeting dinner time.

In Miami’s Little Havana, champagne fizzed all weekend. Meanwhile, the rest of us in the free world amused ourselves comparing the barmiest political reactions to the death of Fidel Castro. Jeremy Corbyn is strong in the running for the 'Despot Hagiography Award', though top honours must go to the national statesmen remembering a tyrant as a saint. ‘A giant among global leaders,’ Irish President Michael Higgins gushed, ‘whose view was not only one of freedom for his people but for all of the oppressed and excluded peoples on the planet.’ His statement went on to praise Cuba’s health system as 'one of the most admired in the world’.

Koumpounophobia is the fear of buttons. Steve Jobs had it — or at least a strong aversion, which explained his affinity for touch-screens and turtlenecks. So do an estimated one of every 75,000 people alive today. Your correspondent was only recently made aware of the phenomenon when a friend, K of Cambridge, requested that I refrain from wearing buttoned shirts in his presence. ‘A minor quirkiness with buttons,’ he confessed over email, while we were planning a rendezvous. ‘They make me very mildly uncomfortable.’ I turned straight to Google: ‘fear of buttons’.

Spectator Money is out, with ideas on how to make it, spend it and even how to be seen spending it. Freddy Gray looks at the 'social economy' - think tax loopholes for financiers of politically favoured endeavours; while Camilla Swift peruses credit cards such as Kanye West's 'African American Express' and the Dubai First Royale, 'studded with diamonds. Bring it on, Sheikh Sugardaddy.' Spare a thought, though, for the inconspicuous consumers - or at least, the wannabes.

Malaysian pharmacist Syed Azmi has emerged from hiding to apologise for organising 'I Want to Touch a Dog' earlier in October, a canine-petting event that drew a few hundred mostly Muslim Malaysians. So: not all Muslims hate dogs. Only some do. Syed has been getting death threats for the initiative, and is being investigated by the federal Islamic Development Department, whose director general warned via the Malaysian press that petting dogs might lead to the 'terrible consequence where they [Muslims] will keep dogs in their house'. The Koranical hadiths, mind you, are muddled at best in establishing the tradition that good Muslims hate dogs.

The UK Land Registry today released its latest report on house prises, showing the ticket-cost of an average home in England and Wales down 2.2 per cent to £177,299 in September from a peak of £181,324 in November 2007. No, that still doesn't mean that underpaid Westminster interns can afford to buy a home in central London. Per the Land Registry, average house prices in the capital rose 18.4 per cent since this time last year. Cue the New York Times with an opinion article composed by a young writer, cavilling about the matter: 'Without capital, those of us who do not own property resign ourselves to running in an exploitative rat race. . . . I live two boroughs away from where I was born [in east London], yet I’ll never be able to afford a home.

English NHS ambulance services are spending twice as much on private ambulances than they were in 2012, according to Labour, while response-times have lengthened and ambulance staff appear increasingly disgruntled.[audioplayer src="http://traffic.libsyn.com/spectator/TheViewFrom22_28_August_2014_v4.mp3" title="Julia Manning joins Mary Wakefield and Fraser Nelson to discuss the 999 crisis." startat=50] Listen [/audioplayer] So there's something else to blame on the Tory government, lest anyone feared a shortage. Shadow Health Secretary Andy Burnham lost no time in charging that 'these figures show just how quickly the NHS is changing under David Cameron.' Perhaps.

Remember this time last year, when Jeremy Hunt decried the 'national shame' of neglected old people suffering from undiagnosed dementia? The health secretary lamented that fewer than half of dementia cases are ever diagnosed, and promised 'to make a big change.' His initiative got rave reviews at the time. Now that the details are in, not so much. 'A bounty on the head of certain patients' is how the head of the Patients Association characterised NHS England's new scheme, to pay doctors £55 per patient whom they diagnose with dementia. The so-called 'Dementia Identification Scheme' began on October 1 and runs through March 31. It is, per the NHS document, 'designed to reward GP practices for undertaking a proactive approach'.