Alex Massie

Alex Massie

Tuesday

Alex Massie

Michael Jackson’s Final Freak Show

The Washington Post's Lisa de Moraes has the right attitude to today's media-overload as at least 16 networks compete to see who can provide the most gruesome coverage of the Michael Jackson memorial today. Odds are that ABC will be the winners, if only because they have Martin Bashir on their books... We're guessing Jackson fans probably won't be watching ABC's coverage, Bashir being the guy who profited most by taking down Michael Jackson. In case you just came out from under a flat rock, Bashir's the guy who did that 2003 documentary, bought by ABC, that led to Jackson getting slapped with those child-abuse charges and Bashir getting offered a job at ABC News. In Jackson-fanatic circles, Bashir is That Backstabber Who Has Michael Jackson's Blood on His Hands.

Alex Massie

John Bercow: Garden Gnome or Trendy Vicar? Or Both?

Via Tom Harris, I see that the new Speaker is contemplating "modernising" the House of Commons by dropping the convention that MPs refer to one another as the "Honourable Member" and "Right Honourable" and so on. If John Bercow thinks this will do anything to help the public understand the supposedly arcane and baffling Westminster world then he's utterly mistaken. More importantly, it suggests that, in this instance at least, his understanding of the problems afflicting Westminster is sadly shallow and even juvenile. The Scottish Parliament - working on the assumption that any Westminster convention was foegeyish and "out of touch" - decided that there was no need for such antiquated formalities and, consequently, members would address one another by name.

Alex Massie

How to Cut Spending and Frame the Argument

A characteristically interesting column from Rachel Sylvester in The Times today, in which she describes how the Tories are looking to how the Liberal Party in Canada managed to slash public spending a decade ago. As Sylvester describes it, our Canadian friends lopped 20% of their public spending bill and dismissed as many as a fifth of all state employees. In other words, cutting spending can be done, even if it's never easy and always controversial. But unless you tackle welfare and the NHS then - absent a fundamental rethink of government needs and priorities - it's unlikely that many of the other measures - charging for museum entry! - will make much of a difference. Of course, the Tories say they are committed to that sort of Big Thinking. Momentum is on their side.

Monday

Alex Massie

Circumnavigating Manhattan For the First Time

A lovely, gentle, mildly nostalgic piece in the New York Times by Gay Talese, recounting his maiden trip aboard one of the tourist cruisers that sail around Manhattan. It's as elegant and neat and finely-constructed as you might imagine: Atop a cliff on the Manhattan bank of the Harlem River stands the 185-foot Highbridge Water Tower, which resembles a medieval minaret and housed a carillon that chimed tunes thrice daily until it was destroyed by arson in 1984. Across the river, within view of Yankee Stadium (or stadiums, both old and new), two young boys hurled stones toward our vessel, failing to reach the mark but prompting Captain Weber to respond to their ill intent with a few forceful honks on his foghorn.

Alex Massie

Primaries Are Not the Answer

James makes a droll case for Labour holding an open, national, primary to select the party's next leader. As I say, it's an entertaining notion, though it's not clear that Tory or Lib Dem voters have any real right to choose Gordon Brown's successor. Still, the idea of primaries seems to be on everyone's mind lately. All in the name of "reconnecting" politicians and voters. But the argument for primaries basically comes down to one thing: that's how they do it in the United States. Since much of the British political and media class finds American presidential elections much more exciting and interesting than anything that happens on our own wee island, it's hardly surprising that there should be such enthusiasm for any idea that would Americanise our politics. But this is a fantasy.

Alex Massie

Sarah Palin’s Resignation Still Makes No Sense

Never let it be said that Fred Barnes can't take the long view. While he concurs, with regret, that Sarah Palin has dashed her chances of winning the Republican nomination in 2012, he still sees a path to the White House for Palin: But there is a way: win Alaska's lone House seat in 2012 and oust Democratic senator Nick Begich in 2014. A term in the House and another in the Senate--nothing would do more to groom her for the White House than this and transform her into the best Republican candidate for the presidency in, say, 2020, when she'd be 56. Well, sure, in theory this could work! But lots of things can work in theory. In any case, surely she'd be better-placed to win the House seat in 2012 if she had completed her term as governor?

Alex Massie

The King of Tennis

  Until that extraordinary fifth set this afternoon's contest between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick had only occasionally flirted with greatness. It was always tense and often gripping but that owed as much to the weight of the occasion and the serendipity of tennis's scoring system as it did to the drama of the tennis itself. The fact that, in tennis, you are never more than two points away from a potentially game-changing moment ensured that even matches dominated by seemingly-impregnable serves retain their interest. The tension is provided by the potential of what might happen after the next point. That's especially true of matches like today's final in which opportunities to break serve are rarer than British men appearing in the second week of the championships.

Friday

Alex Massie

Sarah Palin Resigns! Madness!

Perhaps it's appropriate that Sarah Palin concluded her incoherent, rambling, puzzling resignation statement by quoting General Douglas MacArthur's absurd line that "We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction." After all, MacArthur was a a megalomaniac who believed black could be turned white merely by saying so. The General was a great showman, but a poor strategist who was fortunate to even be given a command, let alone permitted to hold on to it for as long as he did. Flair might be important, but it's not enough. Palin's resignation certainly gives her time to spend in Iowa and New Hampshire and the rest of the Lower 48 in advance of a 2012 presidential campaign. But that campaign would have been more credible had she completed her term as governor.

Alex Massie

Midget Wrestlers Murdered by Fake Hookers

I defy you to find a better story today. Sad, obviously for the tiny wrestlers and their fans, but pure, unadulterated, newspaper gold for everyone else. We need more details but, by the looks of it anyway, this has the potential to be the story of the year... Two professional midget wrestlers have been found dead in a low-rent hotel room in Mexico City. La Parkita (Little Death) and Espectrito Jr - in real life brothers Alberto and Alejandro Jiménez - had been entertaining two prostitutes on the night of their death. Police beileve the women gave the pair, both 35, a fatal drugs overdose before fleeing with their belongings.

Alex Massie

Today vs Yesterday: Tour de France Special Edition

The Tour de France begins tomorrow and it will not surprise long-time readers that my main concern is that Lance Armstrong does not win it again. Like any sensible enthusiast I recognise Armstrong's greatness even if, as detailed here and here, I think that the Case for Armstrong is frequently overstated. Fairly or not, I've never warmed to him. This has nothing to do with him being an American since, if that were the case, it would be odd for me to admire* Greg LeMond so much. But I do admire LeMond hugely and, at the risk of being mischievous, wonder how he and Armstrong's records would compare if it was LeMond who had survived cancer and Armstrong who had overcome being shot. But that's not really the point of this post.

Alex Massie

A Few Simple Questions for Alan Johnson

Home Secretary, is "identity theft" unknown in countries that already have identity cards? If it isn't, then how will Britain's ID cards solve that problem? (A problem that is, in any case, vastly smaller than you claim.) You now say that ID cards will be "voluntary". Doesn't that compromise their (putative) effectiveness? And if the case for ID cards is so compelling - as you insist it remains - why has your government been backtracking on the matter? You argue that you are "committed to delivering them more quickly to the people who will benefit most". Previously this was everyone. Who "needs" them "most"? Or, to put it another way, who doesn't need an ID card? Who will benefit least from an ID card?

Thursday

Alex Massie

What is Middle-Class Elitism? And What’s Wrong With It?

The Guardian is a great* newspaper but also an uncommonly infuriating rag. Take, for instance, this paragraph in what was an otherwise unobjectionable article about Elizabeth David: Now I should be quite clear from the outset that I've always been a little ambivalent about David. She famously moved food writing out of the dark didactic corners of domestic science and began to write beautifully and poetically about food as a sensual experience, but she also in her early career wrote unashamedly for the posh and focused attention away from British cuisine and on to Mediterranean food. I find it hard to read her work without enjoyment but it also defines a kind of "holidays-in-Provence" middle-class elitism. Right on!

Alex Massie

Debating in Iraq

The university debating circuit isn't quite what it once was. Once upon a time it was, if not a closed shop, a cosy cartel organised by Scottish, Irish and English universities with the Australians and the occasional American or Canadian providing whatever passed for international glamour. Changed times and these days English-speakers can lose to debaters from any number of other countries all of whom are trouncing you in a language that is not their own. Gone are the days when being beaten by Zagreb B ("If that's what they're like, I wouldn't want to come up against Zagreb A etc etc") was considered a rogue result. This is, doubtless, progress and globalisation and all that.

Alex Massie

The Washington Post’s Humbug: Business as Usual in DC

Perhaps because hypocrisy and mendacity are such open and prominent features of the British press, no-one is terribly surprised when newspapers live down to everyone's expectations. Newspapers behaving badly is a dog bites man story. They do things differently in America where the Cult of Credentialism and an absurdly-inflated sense of their own importance has made most American papers nigh-on unreadable. The astonishing thing is that it took the public so long to realise this and abandon their worthy, inky morning muesli. So, who can fail to be amused by the revelation that the Washington Post is whoring itself to the highest-bidder, promising to arrang useful access to Obama administration officials? Not me, anyway. In other words, the Post is acting as a lobbyist.

Alex Massie

If Philip Morris is a paedophile, what are his happy customers?

From - where else? - the Guardian: No national administration would allow paedophiles a say in setting child welfare policies. So why should the views of Big Tobacco on issues of health be taken seriously? And no, I don't think this analogy is too extreme.  One wonders what David Cronin - the author of this nonsense - would consider an extreme analogy? Of course, my own view is that Big Tobacco has been utterly spineless when it comes to standing up to the misinformation and propaganda spread by the "health" industry. Nonetheless, there is something to the notion that Big Tobacco is quite happy to hop into bed with the authorities - but that's because doing so benefits large tobacco companies at the expense of their smaller rivals.

Alex Massie

Labour’s Definition of Progress Will Kill Us All

Thanks to David Maddox for this gem. During a debate on BBC Scotland last night, marking a decade of devolution, Iain Gray, leader of the Labour party at Holyrood, boasted of the parliament's achievements: Has it [the Scottish Parliament] made a difference?" he asked rhetorically. "Yes it has. When the Parliament started one in five children in this country lived in poverty. That's now one in three. That's significant progress." God knows, mind you, how much more of this progress we can take. Oh, Iain Gray was once a teacher. His subject? Mathematics, obviously...

Alex Massie

Pimp My Ride: Amish Style

Actually, this is rather a touching, sad story about the Amish and the impact first rising prosperity and then, of all things, a run on an Amish bank in Indiana. Nonetheless, it seems that the Amish are no more able to resist shiny baubles and status symbols than the rest of us. Plus, the idea of what one might term the Cosmo-Amish and their tricked out buggies is, you know, amusing: Some Amish bishops in Indiana weakened restrictions on the use of telephones. Fax machines became commonplace in Amish-owned businesses. Web sites marketing Amish furniture began to crop up. Although the sites were run by non-Amish third parties, they nevertheless intensified a feeling of competition, says Casper Hochstetler, a 70-year-old Amish bishop who lives in Shipshewana.

Wednesday

Alex Massie

O Canada!

It's Canada's birthday today as well! I dare say that there must be unpleasant Canadians but every Canuck I've ever met has been lovely. Granted, most of them no longer live in Canda but that's a mere detail... Canada is one of those countries we rarely hear much about, not merely because it's over-shadowed by its larger neighbour but because it seems, on the whole, to be a pretty well-run place full of nice people. Consequently Canada has a negative news value. (Scandanavia and New Zealand have, in different ways, some of the same attributes. Good place to live = Boring!). Anyway, the Canadian national anthem is a fine one. Especially when sung lustily (if flatly!) by thousands of beered-up beared ice hockey fans before a vital play-off game.

Alex Massie

Ten Years of Devolution

This is a day for anniversaries: my 35th and the Scottish Parliament's 10th. The latter is, I concede, the more significant milestone. Once upon a time George Robertson, then Shadow Scottish Secretary, declared that devolution would kill the demand for independence "stone dead". His Labour colleague, Tam Dalyell, disagreed predicting that devolution would put us on the "motorway" towards independence. Well, a decade later, neither man has been vindicated and, indeed, the case remains Not Proven. Scotland does not stand where once she did, but nor has her future path been determined. It is still too soon to say whether devolution has been a success, but some myths concerning it deserve to be, forgive me, scotched.

Alex Massie

If Only Obama Were Like Coolidge…

David Brooks makes a number of excellent points in his latest column. No surprise there. There's plenty to dislike, from a policy point of view, about the bills the Democratic Congress in Washington is passing. No surprise there. Then again, there was plenty to dislike about much of the legislation that came out of the Republican-controlled Congress too. Brooks ends his piece with this cute summary: The great paradox of the age is that Barack Obama, the most riveting of recent presidents, is leading us into an era of Congressional dominance. And Congressional governance is a haven for special interest pleading and venal logrolling. When the executive branch is dominant you often get coherent proposals that may not pass.