Alex Massie

Alex Massie

Thursday

Alex Massie

Stirring Up Exasperation

It's a strange business this campaigning lark, isn't it? William Hague was in these parts this morning. I learnt this from his Twitter* feed. He can't have spent much time in Hawick**, mind you, since he was soon in Edinburgh as part of a day-long tour of nine Scottish constituencies. Tour, of course, vastly overstates matters. Hague is dropping in on constituencies for a few handshakes, a pep talk to local party workers and, if the candidate is lucky, a few photographs for the local papers. A lot of frenetic activity, then, but it's hard to see how any of it can reasonably be expected to influence voters. William Hague's presence on Hawick High Street can't possibly, one must imagine, change anyone's mind or recruit any more punters to the Tory colours.

Wednesday

Alex Massie

The Daily Mash Election

Unsurprisingly the lads at the Daily Mash are enjoying themselves: GORDON Brown's claim to be an ordinary, middle class Briton backfired last night as millions of ordinary middle class Britons stressed just how much they hate themselves. The prime minister kicked-off Labour's campaign by contrasting his spite-filled ordinariness with the rich and happy background of Tory leader David Cameron. Reminding voters of the way David Cameron swaggers around with his riding crop while deciding which scullery maid to impregnate, Mr Brown said: "He's all smiles and fancy boots, while I, on the other hand, am chronically self-conscious, scared of French food and have horrible furniture.

Alex Massie

Gordon Reinvents Himself as Captain Change

Give Gordon Brown credit for chutzpah at least. Then again, what else if left to the poor man? It's tough to be the incumbent and run a campaign based on the promise of Change. But this seems to be what El Gordo is attempting. Good luck with that. Labour appear to have accepted that they've lost the Change vs Experience battle and so they've opted, rather brazenly you might say, to present themselves and their platform as "Real Change". The Tories, on the other hand, presumably offer phoney Change. It's a risky business, this Change stuff and you have to be very careful you don't buy the wrong type of Change.

Alex Massie

No-one is Talking About Immigration

Well, on Day One of the Great Campaign no-one seemed to be talking about immigration. This is understandable given that it's a subject that discomfits most of the parties and, for that matter, many voters. This is to say nowt about the potential it offers for demagoguery and cheap and easy populism. But while one understands why the subject arouses fierce passions it remains the case that we probably ought to talk about it at some point over the next month. Because we're going to need more immigrants. Yup, we are. Or, at any rate, we're going to need more people over the course of the next few decades. For some reason that I'm not sure I wholly understand the idea that 70 million people may one day live on this soggy island is anathema to many furious people.

Tuesday

Alex Massie

Chris Kamara For The Win

Lord knows that in these trying, perhaps even desperate, times we need some light relief. So here's Chris Kamara cheerfully admitting that he hasn't a clue what's going on in the Portsmouth vs Blackburn Rovers game the other day. Now, if only political pundits and broadcasters were this honest... And no, I'm not knocking Mr Kamara. I once wrote a 900 word report on a rugby match that, thanks to my own stupidity and the uselessness of a colleague who was giving me a lift to Hawick and had got the kick-off time wrong, was into injury time by the time we arrived. That is, we saw fewer than two minutes of play. Happily, no-one seemed to notice...

Alex Massie

The Great Ignored

Sunder Katwala thinks that Dave's talk of the "Great Ignored" carries echos of Nixon's "Silent Majority"; Hopi Sen doesn't much care for the phrase either and wonders why Cameron didn't go for Chesterton or Kipling instead. This seems sound advice though I wonder if eloquence and allusion can carry a message these days without being seen as hopelessly elitist or, worse, pompous and artificial. Rhetoric, I fancy, is mistrusted.  Anyway, this is part of what Cameron had to say: "We're fighting this election for the great ignored. Young, old, rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight. They start businesses, operate factories, teach our children, clean the streets, grow our food and keep us healthy – keep us safe. They work hard, pay their taxes, obey the law.

Alex Massie

Our Butskellite Future?

David Miliband's blog during this election promises to be very interesting, not simply on account of what he writes but because, if Labour lose and Gordon steps down then, well, you know, he could be the next leader of the Labour party. So, tea leaves and all that. Here's his first campaign post: It seems to me the Labour Party has three jobs in this campaign. To show how far Britain has come and take on the myth that our country is in decline. Remember wages of £1.50 an hour, winter crises in the NHS, outside loos in primary schools, section 28, declining overseas aid spending? They have all been changed by Labour in government. We need also to show we have ideas for the future.

Alex Massie

Labour’s Manifesto: The Shortest Abdication Note in History?

And so it begins. At last. The phoney war is over and now the grapeshot will be flying thick and fast. There will be casualties aplenty, decency, honesty and your patience amongst 'em. I'm sticking to my view, which is neither especially daring nor unconventional, that the Conservatives will win and finish with a majority of 30 or so seats. Sticking, I say, even though obviously I reserve the right to change my mind several times between now and polling day. For ages now - or at least it feels like ages - I've been arguing that whatever doubts one may reasonably have about Cameron the Tories appear to have passed the important test of Not Seeming Grotesquely Ill-Prepared for Government.

Alex Massie

Tory Obama? Really?

Is Barack Obama really a closet Tory? That's the question Andrew Sullivan asks in the light of this passage from David Remnick's new Obama biography. Speaking about race in America and his election, Obama says: "America evolves, and sometimes those evolutions are painful. People don't progress in a straight line. Countries don't progress in a straight line. So there's enormous excitement and interest around the election of an African-American President. It's inevitable that there's going to be some backlash, potentially, to what that means—not in a crudely racist way, necessarily.

Monday

Alex Massie

If David Cameron were American, would he be a Republican?

Tim Montgomerie has a nice way with understatement. His capsule-sized overview of the campaign to come, published by National Review Online, contains this passage: Cameron will not be to the liking of every U.S. Republican, but he’s much closer to American conservatism than the ruling Labour Party or the third party, the Liberal Democrats. The Conservative leader promises to abolish inheritance tax for all but millionaires. He will recognise marriage in the tax system. He promises to vote for tighter abortion laws. His most radical policy is a policy of school choice that will end the monopoly of provision currently misused by local government.

Alex Massie

Quote for the Day*

Courtesy of Stephanie Flanders, the BBC's Economics Editor: Welcome to the election. If we're to believe Alistair Darling, the Conservatives' 'credibility gap' on tax and spending has shrunk by 34% since January, or about £11bn. If they carry on like this, they might be thoroughly credible by election day. Naturally, that is not how the chancellor put it in his press conference this morning, as he released more than 180 pages detailing the Conservative Party's (new and improved) "Credibility Deficit". Back in January, Labour said there was a £33.8bn hole in the Conservatives' plans. Now it's fallen to £22.2bn - suggesting a 34% rise in credibiliy. But, to coin a phrase, Labour's numbers really don't add up. Quite.

Alex Massie

President Petraeus Watch

Not much news came out of Washington last week which doubtless explains why my old chum Toby Harnden used his Telegraph column to chew over the Petraeus 2012 "speculation" one more time. This won't be the last we hear of this, I assure you. Alas, as Toby laments, the good General stubbornly refuses to play along: The problem is that Petraeus appears to have no desire to be commander-in-chief. His denials of any political ambition have come close to the famous statement by General William Sherman. The former American Civil War commander, rejecting the possibility of running for president in 1884 by stating: "I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected." Yet speculation about "Petraeus in 2012" persists.

Alex Massie

The Political Consultancy Racket

As mentioned, one of the things we talked about during the House of Comments podcast was what, if anything, British pols can learn from the Obama campaign. The answer: much less than the press might have you think. Sure, there's puff piece after puff piece about how both parties are snapping up Obama "advisors" in order to give the impression that they're the Next Big Thing themselves. This Sunday Times piece was neither the first nor, alas, the last of such nonsenses. This is not America, people. If you needed reminding that this is the case, consider the fact that ConservativeHome is trying to raise £1,000 online today. That's right, £1000 to support the Tory candidate in Sutton & Cheam. A worthwhile endeavour I'm sure, but let's not be getting too carried away here.

Alex Massie

Podcasting

Regular posting to return later today. Meanwhile I was a guest on the latest House of Comments podcast hosted by Mark Thompson and Stuart Sharpe. Labour List's Alex Smith and I chatted about the Chancellor's debate, Tony Blair's (brief) return to Britain, lessons that might or might not be learnt from the Obama campaign and so on. Anyway, the podcast is available to download via this page here. You can subscribe to the podcast via iTunes here if that's your thing.

Sunday

Friday

Alex Massie

Will Guam Capsize?

This is obviously John Rentoul bait but, though one loves the eccentricities of the House of Lords, it remains the case that the US House of Representatives can bring the crazy like no other legislature on earth. Behold, people, Representative Hank Johnson (D) whom the good people of Georgia's Fourth Congressional District have seen fit to send to Washington. He is concerned, you see, that Guam  may capsize. I am informed that this is not an April Fool.

Thursday

Alex Massie

The World’s Greatest Deliberative Body

Meanwhile, can there be any doubt that the House of Lords remains, despite everything, the finest legislative body in the world? The people who want to put us through yet more elections must be stopped, if only because stuffing the place with more "real" politicians might deprive us of splendid discussions such as this recent set of questions concerning the Mouse Problem plaguing the Palace of Westminster: The Chairman of Committees (Lord Brabazon of Tara): My Lords, the administration is fully aware of the problem with mice in the Palace of Westminster and is taking all appropriate measures to minimise their numbers. We retain the services of an independent pest control consultant and a full-time pest controller.

Alex Massie

Blackout

Sorry for the unscheduled absence: there's been no electricity in these parts for the past 36 hours thanks to, one supposes, a combination of snow, gales and lord knows what else. And no electricity means no internet which means it's like living in the Dark Ages or something. Such are the perils of life in Idyllshire. The people behind "Earth Hour" (when you're supposed to switch the lights off and sit in the dark for an hour) haven't a clue.

Tuesday

Alex Massie

Wayne Agonistes

  Who knows how bad Wayne Rooney's ankle injury is? Not since Metatarsal Watch in 2006, however, has there been such troubling news for the England camp. One mobs' rain is another lots' sunshine however and the Agony of Wayne's Ankle is a gift to our never under-excited press. We can expect Fleet Street to move into battle with its customary brio. All weapons will be deployed including, but not limited to: 1. Ankle Correspondents. No serious paper can cover this crisis without a specialist Ankle Correspondent. Just as old Afghan hands were hauled out of retirement in the winter of 2001-2002, so their Ankle brethren will return to prominence now. 2. Endless features on Famous Ankles We Have Known and Loved, This Day in Ankle History, Can Ankle Injuries Give You Cancer?

Alex Massie

All Hail the All-knowing Priest-King!

On the other hand, this tripe is also ridiculous: It is impossible to write about Nelson Mandela these days and not compare him to another potentially transformational black leader, Barack Obama. The parallels are many. ... And while it took twenty-seven years in prison to mold the Nelson Mandela we know, the forty-eight-year-old American president seems to have achieved a Mandela-like temperament without the long years of sacrifice. Pass the sick bag, please. How can anyone, even Richard Stengel, managing editor of Time magazine, produce such guff?