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There’s a new dawn for social media, and tech CEOs have morning wood. Twitter has a new owner, Elon Musk — did you hear? — and he’s looking to turn the slovenly hellscape into a financially viable company. The path? Subscriptions and paid content. In response, Tumblr, once the horniest hub of the internet, announced in November that it was allowing nudity again after banning “adult content” in 2018, which cost 30 percent of its user base and even more cultural relevancy. This came after years of incremental changes from the current owner, Matt Mullenweg, who acquired Tumblr from Verizon in 2019. https://twitter.com/ajplus/status/1069671569495085059 This may spark optimism in those reminiscing over the hornier days of the internet, but it’s a false hope.

Tucker Carlson has been telling us for months that American progressives are too online. In October, the Fox News host lit into Democrats for being more concerned with shattering the glass ceiling for transgender admirals than with addressing the supply chain crisis: “[Our leaders] do not care if the actual country, the physical country, comes apart at the seams, as long as the population dutifully repeats the correct slogans. Once you understand that, you understand why every day we get some frivolous new announcement about some social justice goal that in the end will not improve the life of a single American citizen.” Earlier this month, he played a clip of Jen Psaki laughing at the “alternate universe” Fox News creates for its viewers.