Media

Now that Elizabeth Butler-Sloss has stood down as head of the inquiry into historic sex abuse, I’d like to nominate myself as Britain’s new paedofinder-general. If I got the job, I would use the latest scientific techniques to track down every single sexual wrongdoer in Britain, alive or dead. Firstly I would type into Google the names of every person involved in the entertainment industry or politics between 1965 and 1990, followed by a ‘p’; if the word ‘paedophile’, ‘paedo’ or ‘pedo’ comes up in the top ten suggestions then the chances are that the person in question probably is one, so the CSI crime squads can turn up at their house looking for any forensic evidence of alleged sexual assaults from the 1970s.

‘Hypocrisy of the stars who shielded cash from taxman’, cries a headline in today’s Daily Mail. But are we sure that it's really hypocrisy? Among those ‘outed’ as hypocrites is the actor Michael Caine. But Mr Steerpike seems to recall that the cockney lad has been a vocal campaigner against our tax system, which seem to be one of his pet peeves. In fact, in the late 1970s Caine moved to the States to avoid them. A country that charges 82 per cent tax on its highest earners isn't a democracy - rather ‘a communist country without a dictator’, he has been quoted as saying. Another tax ‘hypocrite’ is TV’s Anne Robinson, according to the Mail.

‘I’m like any parent,’ says Nick Clegg (Deputy Prime Minister, privy councillor and universally derided leader of the Liberal Democrats). Speaking to the Radio Times, as any old parent might do, Average Dad Nick pleaded with his offspring: 'The first, most visceral instinct you have as a parent is you want to protect your children, and politics is a very rough business you know. It’s absolutely not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned, so I wouldn’t likely recommend to my children to go into politics.' Pity. Mr S was getting rather misty eyed at the prospect of young Miguel or Antonio seeking high office in order to restore the family name. Who will avenge self-pitying Clegg now?

Labour’s ‘media grid’ for this week had Miliband’s millionaire spinner Tom Baldwin pencilled in to brief Times journalist Rachel Sylvester and give her an exclusive story for Tuesday's paper. When the paper landed it was actually lots of Labour figures slagging off the leader, and saying how Ed had lots of policies but not the character to be PM. That's some class A spinning for you.

There are many reasons for this but let's begin with the first and simplest: it is the British Broadcasting Corporation. Who could have imagined that an organisation that, rightly or not, sees itself as both creator and guardian of much of modern Britain's identity and culture might think itself threatened by a movement hell-bent on destroying, or at least significantly changing, that identity and culture? I know, me neither. Now of course the BBC is not consciously or deliberately biased against the SNP and against Scottish independence. It is scrupulous about ensuring 'No' voices are balanced by 'Yes' voices just as, in other areas and debates it does its best to be seen as an impartial, disinterested, referee.

The Queen has visited the set of Game of Thrones in Northern Ireland. Frankly, she did not look that enamoured with the Iron Throne. Much to the disappointment of the gathered media, she did not sit down. In fact, she seemed indifferent to the hype...

Applications to become Chairman of the BBC Trust close on Friday. Plenty of noise was made early on the race about the need for a totally committed successor, after Chris Patten stood accused of not giving the £110,000 a year job his full attention. The official job specification published by the Cabinet Office stated: ‘The time commitment for the Trust Chairman has been 3-4 days per week (or 12-16 days per month).’ Late in the day though, a source familiar with the selection process points out that an additional sentence has been added to the advert: ‘However, suitable candidates able to offer a lesser time commitment will also be considered.’ That wasn't there when the job first went up. Intriguingly, BBC insiders refer to it as the 'Seb line'.