Lori Chavez-DeRemer

As far as fall traditions go, the renaissance faire is among Cockburn’s favorite. Fair maidens and humble peasants amble around stalls, chewing on turkey legs and spectating jousts as they pretend to be in Auld Europe. Yet in recent years, modern degeneracy has taken hold: now instead of a family day out, renfaire is fun for the whole polycule. Pornified bartenders in Euphoria makeup humiliate horny patrons as they serve them drinks. The Maryland Renaissance Festival is taking steps to stop the rot. The faire is implementing a new dress code that bans “fursuits.” For the blissfully uninitiated: fursuits are full-body costumes worn by the “furry” subculture, which mean the wearer appears to be an anime-style anthropomorphic animal.

It’s knives-out season for Capitol Hill creeps. After Eric Swalwell and Tony Gonzales were forced to resign their congressional seats following allegations of sexual impropriety, Congress has turned into a circular firing squad of claims and callouts. Members past and present, not to mention the media, are encouraging staffers to come forward and reveal who did what on that Vegas trip or congressional retreat. Cockburn, who has some track record with these stories, has one eye on his inbox as ever.The chatter has picked up over the past few days ahead of the House Ethics Committee today. A list of investigations of alleged sexual misconduct by members was published, detailing the outcomes.