Kristi Noem

How Trump got immigration spectacularly right

Parts of the MAGA movement are unhappy with President Trump’s migration strategy. The administration has softened its policy on deportations following a public uproar over the ICE killings in January, it is said. The focus has been on removing only the most violent offenders. “The truth is the first year was not a year of mass deportation,” says Mike Howell of the Mass Deportation Coalition. “A conscious decision was made to go after the worst first, which was, we’ll call it a deviation, from the central campaign promise of mass deportations.” Such criticisms miss the point. The Trump administration has tackled the worst offenders to shore up support for its wider migration crackdown. And that crackdown has been wildly successful.

An eight-wheeled military vehicle patrols near the border wall which is being painted black after an order by US President Donald Trump, according to US Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, between Santa Teresa, New Mexico and Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico on August 28, 2025. 8 miles of metal barrier are under construction since July 15 in the El Paso Sector. (Photo by Herika Martinez / AFP)

Is the outgoing Border Patrol chief a sex tourist?

Border Patrol Chief Michael Banks has resigned, ostensibly “to retire and return home to Texas to focus on my family and ranch.” Banks served under President Biden but quit in frustration over the administration’s lax border policies. When Trump returned to office, Banks took up his old job again: like Cincinnatus, he came out of retirement to serve, and will now return to his plow. Perhaps “plow” is the operative word here. It’s widely speculated that Banks is in fact resigning because of a Washington Examiner investigation, which claims that he was a sex tourist who made regular trips to Colombia and Thailand while in post.

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Who’s the most special envoy?

On the final weekend of her tenure as Homeland Security Secretary, Kristi Noem was in South America meeting the President of Guyana. Photos posted by the US Embassy in Guyana show Noem’s “senior advisor” Corey Lewandowski sitting alongside her. It would, of course, be “tabloid garbage” to repeat rumors of an affair between the two, to use Noem’s phrase when questioned (both Noem and Lewandowski have vehemently denied the affair, although she didn’t explicitly deny “sexual relations” when under oath in Congress). Noem’s South American jaunt seemed to straddle the role she was leaving and the one she’s just started. She was officially in Guyana on DHS business but has a new posting as Donald Trump’s “Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas.

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Bondi out: is Trump culling the beautiful women from his cabinet?

More like Pam Gone-di! President Trump this afternoon confirmed that Attorney General Pam Bondi would be moving on to pastures new. In a Truth Social post announcing her dismissal, Trump called Bondi a “Great American Patriot and a loyal friend” who “did a tremendous job overseeing a massive crackdown in Crime across our Country, with Murders plummeting to their lowest level since 1900.” “We love Pam,” wrote Trump. Deputy AG Todd Blanche, who Trump dubbed, “a very talented and respected Legal Mind,” will serve as Acting Attorney General. Bondi was Trump’s second choice as AG after his attempt to nominate Matt Gaetz failed. She will now “be transitioning to a much needed and important new job in the private sector.” Is there no justice in the world?

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Happy Trans Day of Visibility, Bryon Noem!

Kristi Noem has just started her new role as Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas. She might need even more protection than a mere shield. The Daily Mail (who else?) this morning published bombshell photos and messages of her husband Bryon, wearing humongous prosthetic breasts and women’s leggings. While his wife was serving as President Trump’s Homeland Security Secretary, Bryon was exchanging “hundreds of messages” with at least “three women from the ‘bimbofication’ scene – where porn performers transform themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into their breasts.” The Mail has the images. Cockburn is opting not to publish them.

The short attention-span war

It’s day seven of “Operation Epic Fury” – and the White House is posting through it. The war in Iran that Team Trump wants to show us is tailored for the short attention spans of the vertical video era. Consider this clip posted on X by the official White House account last night, which intersperses declassified footage of US drones hitting their targets with scenes from Gladiator, Iron Man, Braveheart, Top Gun: Maverick and Yu-Gi Oh. Or the video from earlier in the week that cuts between planes and bunkers being blown up and… SpongeBob SquarePants.

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Obama late on the late Jesse Jackson

So farewell then, Reverend Jesse Jackson. The civil-rights hero and two-time Democratic presidential candidate died this morning, aged 84. Given his titanic status as an African-American leader, the first living president, former or current, to issue a statement was, naturally… Donald Trump. “He was a good man, with lots of personality, grit, and ‘street smarts,’” wrote Trump on Truth Social just before 8:30 a.m. “He had much to do with the Election, without acknowledgment or credit, of Barack Hussein Obama, a man who Jesse could not stand.” In fact, at the time of writing, Obama still hadn’t posted about the Reverend (former presidents Biden and Clinton issued statements this morning). The 44th president finally spoke up at 12:50 p.m.

What does it take to get fired from Trump 2.0?

You’re not fired! One of the defining aspects of the second Trump administration so far has been the unwillingness of the Commander-in-Chief to oust senior officials who generate unwanted headlines. "Never bend, never break" is the mantra, and that means always refusing to dance to the media’s tune. War Secretary Pete Hegseth, as Americano readers will know, has survived various painful episodes, partly because Donald Trump enjoys him not backing down.In recent days, at least three significant Trumpworld figures have been embarrassed in ways which would, under any other president, have cost them their jobs.

Don Lemon’s arrest will rally the #Resistance

Lemon squeezy Don Lemon, the former CNN anchor turned Substack influencer, was taken into custody by Homeland Security and FBI agents in Los Angeles last night. Lemon had previously covered an anti-ICE protest that disrupted a church service in St. Paul, Minnesota, earlier this month – though a federal judge in the state refused to approve charges against him. Another independent video journalist present at the church service, Georgia Fort, has also been arrested by federal agents, who said they were acting upon a grand-jury decision. Lemon faces two charges: conspiracy to deprive rights and FACE Act violation. For context: a number of independent and video journalists were charged following the January 6 riot at the Capitol.

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Will Trump back down in Minnesota?

So much for Minnesota nice, the phrase that Midwesterners like to use to describe their calm dispositions. Three gunshots – fired pointblank in the gelid snows of Minneapolis by a federal immigration officer at Renee Nicole Good, a thirty-seven-year-old white woman and American citizen – have plunged the North Star State into renewed political turmoil. The fatal shooting took place only a few blocks from where George Floyd was killed in May 2020. In responding to the tragedy, President Trump proceeded on his favorite premise: the best defense is a good offense.

Is affordability a hoax perpetrated by the fake news media?

According to a proposal filed by US Customs and Border Protection, travelers coming to the US from more than 40 countries may soon have to provide detailed social-media histories and a selfie in order to gain admittance. This will help restrict flow from countries like the UK, France, Japan and Germany, all of which the US has fought against in wars at some time in history. But lest you think these new standards represent some advanced level of paranoid xenophobia, be assured that a careful screening of visitors is actually in the United States’s best interest. I’ve applied for jobs before, and have applied to be a contestant on an infinite number of game shows. The US is simply looking for unproblematic visitors with good personalities who might also make good TV.

In Georgetown, the scariest part of Halloween is the virtue-signaling

Halloween has never been my favorite holiday, but as I was warned when we moved here last November, in Georgetown it is a serious affair. For the entire month of October, giant spiders scale the rowhouses, ghosts and cadavers dangle from trees, cackling animatronic witches guard the cemetery and the local bed and breakfast, parking spaces are “reserved” for ghostbusters and on every other block there’s a 12-foot-tall skeleton waiting to send my two-year-old into shrieks of delight. Then there are the pumpkins: every shape, size and color, stacked by the dozen in tasteful arrangements on every step of every stoop in town. How does everyone pull this off, I asked my real-estate agent, my one-stop source for all Georgetown-related trivia.

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You want a peace of me?

President Trump prevented World War Three yesterday, or so he claimed multiple times. “No one wants World War Three,” he said. Fact check: true. Trump and many of the world’s finest leaders gathered behind a large, tacky but also touching sign that read “Peace 2025.” Italy’s Giorgia Meloni also attended the summit. Trump called her “beautiful,” saying that in the US calling a woman beautiful could mean the “end of your political career.” Fact check: true. “I’ll take my chances,” Trump said. Cockburn enjoyed the day’s festivities, which featured enough comic moments to fill a season of The Office.

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FIFA president joins Trump for Oval Office kickabout

Washington, DC President Trump had balls on the brain on Friday. At an unannounced stop at the People's Museum by the White House – where he was checking out the newly refurbished gift shop –  he laid down the gauntlet to DC Mayor Muriel Bowser. “I think the mayor has to get on the ball, because we have a situation, and she’s a nice woman, but I tell you what she’s got to get on the ball,” the President told the press. “I don’t want to see phony numbers.” We are now in the 12th day of Trump’s federal takeover of law and order in the capital. In that time, 719 arrests have been made, 36 of them illegal aliens, according to the White House. Next, the President headed over to the Kennedy Center to inspect the ongoing reconstruction efforts.

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South Park is ICE-cool on Trump

In this week’s South Park, the second episode since Paramount paid Trey Parker and Matt Stone eleventy billion dollars to make content, Parker and Stone absolutely and brilliantly rip the Trump administration to shreds. Unlike our late-night comedy hosts, who don’t have the chops for anything other than name-calling and juvenile slap fights with the President, South Park gets to the heart of darkness of the Trump administration, and also to what’s so funny about our new political age. Not only does the episode feature a savage attack on Trump, depicting him as Mr. Roarke at Mar-a-Lago as Fantasy Island, it also shows J.D. Vance as a tiny Tattoo, who Trump literally kicks out of the way when he gets annoying.

South Park

Donald Trump – the Orange Mandela?

Diplomatic heads are still spinning following Donald Trump’s extraordinary Oval Office press conference with South African President Cyril Ramaphosa yesterday. The media has taken to using the word “ambush” to describe the way Trump sprung his evidence on Ramaphosa to make the point that white South Africans are being violently persecuted. The scene turned into gemors, as they say in Afrikaans, or chaos, and reminded many observers of the wild meeting between Trump and Volodymyr Zelensky in the same room back in February. Ramaphosa had wanted to perform the usual niceties, flanked by a delegation including three white South African golfers, Elon Musk, some of his officials, his minister for agriculture John Henry Steenhuisen and the luxury goods billionaire Johann Rupert.

Real ID is a legislative wisp from the Bush-era War on Terror

The Real ID moment is here, the Y2K panic of 2025. Today is the deadline to update your driver’s license, leading to frantic predictions of something no one alive has ever seen before – long lines at the DMV. Will the center hold, or will the need to have a digitally embossed star on a piece of plastic finally bring the Republic down once and for all? I predict a quiet day. The fact is, though you now need a Real ID, you technically don’t need one today, unless you do. People must now deploy these enhanced IDs any time they’re entering a federal building, which most people don’t do on the reg, or a nuclear-power plant, which most people never do, and, most significantly in the lives of the general public, if they’re trying to get through airport security.

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The Everything, Everywhere All at Once presidency

The Supreme Court’s 5-4 ruling lifting the order blocking the deportation of accused members of the Venezuelan gang Tren de Aragua is a significant legal victory for the Trump administration. More importantly, it's also a policy vindication for those within this White House whose approach to government upon their return to Washington was to do everything, everywhere, all at once. The legal victory itself was hailed by every prominent member of the President's deportation team, with Attorney General Pam Bondi announcing she’d redouble her efforts, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem declaring that all those here illegally must “LEAVE NOW” and Stephen Miller practically ebullient in his interview last night with Sean Hannity.

DC mayor booed by Nats and Phillies fans

Hill Country bye-bye-Q Cockburn wishes farewell to karaoke mainstay and watches baseball fans fight DC is evolving. Cockburn honored the memory of Hill Country Barbecue Karaoke on Wednesday night, ahead of the downtown hotspot closing its doors for good today. No tickets were available at the door and the line snaked throughout the restaurant as Hill staffers, hacks and college students pored in for one last singalong. The live band whipped through staples such as “Mr. Brightside,” “Redneck Woman” and “Before He Cheats” (twice). A number of veterans also took to the stage: one former host told the crowd that he’d had his first kiss with his now-wife upstairs.

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The tale of two budget bills continues

The Senate may be filled with octogenarians, but it defied the odds this week with a marathon “vote-a-rama” that lasted almost ten hours — just in time to set it up on a collision course with the Republican-led House across the Capitol.Despite the stated preference of President Donald Trump for “one big, beautiful bill” for reconciliation, the Senate pushed through a giant reconciliation bill, which will be smaller than whatever the House seems poised to pass. The Senate’s version tackles one of Trump’s top priorities, border security, while punting votes on other Trump measures, like extending his namesake 2017 tax cuts, to later.