Bullion

As seen on X ‘Another,’ I say with a belch, letting fork and knife fall to my plate. ‘Pork belly this time, I think.’ The waiter scuttles off to the kitchen of our local Greene King pub. This will be my fourth roast dinner of the afternoon. Beef, chicken and gammon have come and gone – each with heaps of crispy roast potatoes, lashings of gravy, golden brown yorkies, steamed cabbage and carrots piled high. I wash them down with Aenglish ale. I’ll have to put in a double session at the gym to work it off. Romanian deadlifts and kettlebell swings. But it’s worth it. Because there is an active intelligence operation to subvert the British Sunday roast.

As seen on X ‘Subversive.’ With this word I sign off my vitriolic X reply to Beth Rigby, who has once again failed to endorse Restore Britain live on Sky News. With the monthly online-right Folkmoot taking place this afternoon at the Boar’s Head on Stockport high street, a show of force like this would be essential in rallying the troops. For the troops were wavering. Rupert Lowe has been making a series of alarming gaffes of late – distancing himself from ethnic nationalism, and indeed, national socialism. It came as a great shock to us that this 68-year-old business associate of Rishi Sunak’s wife and personal friend of much of the Conservative front bench had failed to endorse either of these platforms.

As seen in the Times ‘You young people, I don’t even know where to start!’ My phone call to my daughter Isabel is entering its 40th minute. ‘You’re all too busy donning keffiyehs these days to do any BONKING. ‘When I was your age, it was snogging to Duran Duran all night, then onto the couch for an hour’s kip, then into the office for a full day’s work at the PR agency or Tatler or wherever I was then… the point is there was no whingeing, just working hard and having a bloody good time.’ I then ask about Tom, Izzy’s long-term boyfriend, but interrupt with another harangue: ‘The thing is, Tom is very sweet.