Beer

Only a fool tries to guess exactly what awaits at a French karaoke bar. But on a Saturday night in Avignon, I wasn’t expecting to find a crowd of twentysomething hipsters drinking American-style IPA and singing “Mr. Brightside” and “Friday I’m in Love.” France, in all its stereotypical glory, has always been a wine country. Edward Lear wrote no limericks about a “young man from Saint-Étienne, who liked drinking Old Speckled Hen” but things are changing. France has the most breweries in Europe and beer is now the most bought alcohol in supermarkets, though if you ask a middle-aged Frenchman why young people are embracing beer instead of burgundy, you are met with the most Gallic of shrugs and a “bof... je ne sais pas.” So, why are they doing it?

There’s nothing quite like the third swig of a gin and tonic at the end of a long summer’s day. Or of an Old-Fashioned combating Old Man Winter’s chill. The bite on the tongue. The slow burn in the belly. The gradual easing of emotional and physical tension. Except for the hangovers. There’s nothing quite like those, either. As I — sigh — age, I’ve developed a relationship with alcohol that has become increasingly love-hate: I love it, it hates me. A slight intolerance to booze, German/Irish heritage notwithstanding, has always given me a rosy flush that on round three deepens to an unflattering scarlet that could be mistaken for theatrical rouge.

Some undetermined time in the long past, possibly in 1890s Montana, a miner had finished a long and tiring day and needed a refreshing beer. But after aparticularly taxing shift, a beer wasn’t going to cut it alone. He asked the barman for a shot of whisky as well — and washed it down with his pint. It’s hard to call the boilermaker a cocktail, and inventing one certainly wasn’t on the mind of our tired protagonist. To this day, mixing beer and spirits is not generally the province of mixologists; it’s a combination more often favored by partygoers looking to get slammed as entertainingly and quickly as possible.

If the dozens of cartoonish stereotypes that flood my mind when I think of France — grand Bordeaux estates, snails and frog legs dripping in garlic butter, elegant women striding down the Champs-Élysées, a glittering Eiffel Tower at night — a stein of hoppy beer is nowhere to be found. France is not known for its pints. And yet, much to the concern of its vineyards and winemakers, that could be changing. “There has been a real explosion of breweries all over France in the past few years,” says Alexandra Berry, a Paris-based beer and hops sales consultant and the author of From Earth to Beer: The Expression of Terroir in a Glass. “General sales in wine have started to decrease in France in part because the industry has started to seem a little dated and overrated.

The biggest purveyor of misinformation at the moment isn’t a podcast host or a foreign adversary. It’s a brewery.  Since announcing the release of its flagship Pumpkinhead Ale on August 1, Shipyard Brewing has commenced a cheeky ad campaign declaring that the dog days of summer are actually the perfect time to enjoy a fall beer. As Americans battle oppressive heat and humidity, the Portland, Maine, brewery has flooded its Instagram with photos of people sipping pumpkin ale on boats, and posts boldly declaring “Pumpkinhead Season is HERE!”  It shouldn’t be. Dropping pumpkin beers in the summer is a big mistake, and not because fall beers are inherently bad — quite the contrary.

Join Cockburn in a thought experiment. Close your eyes — and think of the phrase “toxic masculinity.” Who is the first person that you picture in your head? Recently charged Andrew Tate, perhaps — or maybe Floyd Mayweather. French Member of Parliament Sandrine Rousseau sees someone a little less likely: Monsieur Le President Emmanuel Macron. Macron was filmed downing a bottle of Corona this weekend in the dressing rooms of the Stade de France, after Toulouse had beaten La Rochelle in the French rugby final. Urged on by victorious Toulouse players, the president necks the bottle of beer in a modest seventeen seconds. https://twitter.com/chufl3t3r0/status/1670501095502757888?

One day, Cockburn is sitting on a stool in his favorite watering hole, knocking back effervescent, metal-flavored oat sodas from those iconic blue cans; the next, he’s swept along with rural beer distributors, Nick Adams and fellow "alpha males" in a “complete and total boycott of Anheuser-Busch to restore hot women and masculine horses to their rightful place on our domestic beer cans.” Easy enough, Cockburn tells himself. He’ll pass on the Bud Light in favor of a — gasp! Turns out the tentacles of the AB Corporation are long and sticky. Long before Bud Light deemed Dylan Mulvaney, a trans woman, as representative of its consumers, the parent company was beating the diversity, equity and inclusion drum back in 2021.