The Collector of Lawnmowers
He hoards a rotation of them in a moated field. Flymos, like grounded UFOs, line the verges. Old Webbs and Greenworks are at grass. Hares are his sentinels, guarding the perimeter. He wears a duffle darkened with oil and mud and a hat that plays Test Match Special on Long Wave. For him, the grass is always greener. Each morning, he pushes a LawnMaster down to the willow plantation, its blade still gleaming. Only he knows where he tends the perfect wicket, a runway of lawn where he bowls googlies into the wind. At Whitsun, he hosts the groundsmen of Warwickshire; the Somerset keepers.