Whisper it if you must, but it looks as if Gianni (‘Today I feel gay…’) Infantino might have got it right with Fifa’s jumbo-busting World Cup, all 48 teams, 104 games and 39 days of it. Just look at some of the results: forget the Norwegians ‘Viking row’, Messi’s relentless brilliance, magnificent Mbappé, even wise Emma Hayes and her kitchen chalkboard. Look at tiny Cape Verde. With a population of 530,000, about the size of Bristol, it’s one-fifth the size of Jamaica, half that of Mauritius and one-third less than Gran Canaria. But they have been handling football’s aristocrats with the fervour of a French revolutionary execution party.
First they managed to draw 0-0 with Spain: that’s Spain, the 2010 World Champions and the 2024 European Champions; the team of Rodri, Fabián Ruiz, Gavi and Ferran Torres. Still couldn’t get past Cape Verde though, could they? If anything should convince us of the value of a bigger tournament, it’s that result.
Cape Verde have been handling football’s aristocrats with the fervour of a French revolutionary execution party
But not just that: a few days later they held mighty, battling (some would use another word) Uruguay to a thrilling 2-2 draw in Miami. That’s Uruguay, twice world champions and blessed with a monumental footballing pedigree featuring such stars as Luis Suarez, Edinson Cavani, Diego Forlán and Manuel Ugarte. They are managed by Marcelo Bielsa, former Leeds manager and widely regarded as one of the most influential coaches of all time. But it’s not looking that good for him, thanks to the courage, skill and fearlessness of little Cape Verde. What more could anyone want from tournament football?
As for Iran, a country whose host recently wanted to bomb back into the Stone Age, the team is forced to fly in and out to matches in America from their base in Mexico, presumably in case their very presence in some US hotel would taint any passing natives.
After a 2-2 draw against New Zealand, they held ten-man Belgium to another draw, this time 0-0. Yes, that is the Belgium of Kevin de Bruyne, Romelu Lukaku and Leandro Trossard. Mark you, it is always amazing quite how poor Belgium are despite such a golden gathering of players.
The Iranians left a handwritten note in their dressing room after the Belgium match which read: ‘From the ancient Persia thousands of years ago to the civilised Iran of today, the spirit of Iran remains alive and steadfast. We came to Los Angeles with pride, competed with honour and leave with dignity. Thank you Los Angeles for your hospitality.’
The note also referenced the schoolchildren killed in a US missile strike. Well, I don’t know who is doing Iran’s PR but Keir Starmer could do worse than snap them up.
Sometimes you despair for England’s red ball cricket. Has a sport ever been so diminished by the behaviour of those who run the game? The two Richards of the ECB, Gould and Thompson, appear to have abdicated responsibility and Rob Key, the managing director of English cricket, might be an enthusiastic adopter of the latest trends in athleisure wear, but doesn’t seem to be up to the job of running the game. There appears to have been something of a bust-up between Brendon McCullum and Ben Stokes, with the coach saying, ‘I’m very worried about Ben’, and Durham’s top brass saying: ‘He has been absolutely fine. Just normal Ben.’
Stokes is clearly furious that no one stood up for him when he was ‘removed’ from the captaincy, despite not knowing there was a curfew and not even being present when a Saracens rugby player thumped some poor ECB security guard at the illustrious Rex Rooms. There has clearly not been adequate succession planning, given it’s tricky to appoint Harry Brook, whose track record in nightclubs is less than ideal. Poor Joe Root, the finest player England has ever produced, is a woeful captain. England’s performance at the Oval was dismal but Root’s captaincy was a terrible reminder of his last days as full-time skipper: poor field placings, woeful fielding and poor bowling choices. Roll on Trent Bridge.
Comments