Vivek unplugged
Ohio Republican gubernatorial candidate Vivek Ramaswamy signaled virtue in the pages of the Wall Street Journal yesterday, claiming that he’s resolved to swear off social media entirely in 2026. “I’ll spend my newfound time listening to more voters in real-world Ohio, developing more policies to make our state affordable, and being more present with my family,” the former presidential candidate wrote.
While Cockburn can think of more exciting pastimes than listening to voters in real-world Ohio, it’s not a bad sentiment. We could all use a social-media detox. But let’s consider the source. While running for president, Ramaswamy floated the idea of a TikTok ban for 16-year-olds and an “openness” to banning the app outright. Vivek later joined TikTok himself so he could do funny dances with Jake Paul. It’s also not lost on Cockburn that around this time last year, Vivek managed to self-immolate his standing within the MAGA movement thanks to… a single tweet, in which he defended tech companies hiring foreign-born engineers over “native Americans” because “our American culture has venerated mediocrity over excellence for way too long.” Vivek’s Democratic rival, Amy Acton, has been heavily featuring quotes from the tweet in her campaign literature.
The concerns of X aren’t the concerns of real-world Ohioans, Vivek says. People in real life aren’t racist and “based.” Of course not! They love all people equally, which is why they voted for a president who told them that Haitians in Springfield were eating their pets. Ramaswamy’s staff will man his social-media accounts while he travels the great state of Ohio, kissing farmers and shaking babies. They’ll let him know if Jake Paul stops by the office.
On our radar
ONLY I MAY DANCE President Trump offered further insight this morning into his decision to arrest and extract Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro. “He is a violent guy,” said the President. “He gets up and he tries to imitate my dance a little bit.”
LAST WALZ Governor Tim Walz will not stand for a third term in Minnesota, as he deals with national scrutiny on the Somali-fraud scandal.
TRIGGER WARNING Bowdoin College in Maine is deciding whether to put a student on further probation after he responded “RIP to bro 😿” to an email arranging a Charlie Kirk vigil. The student’s reply was reported as a “direct threat to life,” according to FIRE.
Corey in the clubhouse?
Spotted returning to work yesterday, in the first row of a JetBlue flight from Boston Logan to Washington Reagan: Corey Lewandowski, beloved senior advisor to Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem. Lewandowski was playing a mobile golf game as he awaited takeoff. A perfect way to prepare for the looming Trump takeover of DC’s municipal courses…
Little England’s New Year’s Eve bash
It was freezing in DC when Cockburn rang in the New Year at a black-tie party hosted at the British Ambassador’s Residence. The clock struck midnight, and the band led the room in singing “Auld Lang Syne” a cappella before blasting out an up-tempo version with accompaniment.
The strongest spilled into the outdoor area to sit by the fire-pits without getting frostbite. Your correspondent spoke with one lady about her recent contribution to the British people – her and her husband’s “little non-profit” had funded the refurbishment of the George Washington monument in London’s Trafalgar Square, gifted by Virginia in 1921 as a symbol of US-UK friendship.
Food included charcuterie boards and fussy little desserts. Champagne flowed. Women wore sparkly dresses; men wore evening scarves. Tony P, the local consultant-cum-influencer and icon of normie DC (sadly a Spectator discovery), may or may not have been present. Spotted: Sebastian Gorka; James Roscoe; Kate Andrews; Josh Dawsey; Kelly Chapman; Dasha Burns, and Greta Van Susteren.
There was little to write home about by the time he got to Butterworth’s, which had been hosting their own intimate event across town, aside from the spectacle of young people dancing in the corner of the compact restaurant – heartwarming. Last call was announced upon his arrival. Cockburn shoveled himself into a car home drunk, grateful he had made it to 2026.
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