There’s something ineffably endearing about Harry Kane (though I am sure plenty of Bundesliga defenders would disagree), a sort of old-fashioned Englishness that was apparent in Captain Mainwaring. But unlike Mainwaring, he clearly gets on well with Germans. Even more important, he combines an apparent guilelessness with a canny understanding of how to do his job with distinction, which has made him the second most famous old boy of Chingford Foundation School after David Beckham.
He has transformed centre forward play, distributing the ball from midfield with breathtaking ability
Far be it from me to quarrel with James Graham, heavily garlanded chronicler of more or less everything, but his wildly overpraised play Dear England about Gareth Southgate contains a shamefully snooty, not to say vicious, portrait of Kane as someone who just mouths sporting clichés. What rubbish. Kane, like most of us, may not be able to explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – though he’d do a damn sight better than most of us at trying to explain it in German. He has never pretended to be anything other than a very good footballer. And it is his phenomenal articulacy in front of goal that makes him a very special English sporting hero. Oh, and his natural modesty, loyalty and wholly admirable belief in family values.
Look at his latest outing. Turning out for Bayern Munich against Borussia Dortmund in the Bundesliga’s Der Klassiker, Kane scored two to effectively snuff out any chance of a Dortmund title victory. Bayern won 3-2 and extended their lead at the top to 11 points with ten games to go. Meanwhile, those two goals took Kane to 30 for the Bundesliga season. He’s still short of Robert Lewandow-ski’s 41-goal record, but it’s not hard to imagine him beating it if he stays fit.
It was always said that Kane couldn’t be ranked as a major talent without a trophy, which must have been one reason he left Spurs after he single-handedly kept their season alive so many times. In fact, why not look at his old club now? Spurs are a shambles and the new coach is turning on the players.
As for Kane, in his third season at Munich, he has a Bundesliga title – the first of many no doubt – and endless goalscoring records, including being the fastest man this century to reach 100 goals (in 104 games) for one club in a Big Five league.
He has transformed centre forward play, distributing the ball from midfield with a breathtaking ability to hit crossfield passes. His new contract comes up soon – but as Bayern give him enormous freedom on the pitch, and he’s paid a reputed €25 million a year, it’s hard to see him kicking up much about that.
For England fans, however, there’s one nagging anxiety. Has he invested so much in this season that he’ll run out of steam for the World Cup, as happened last time?
From the very best of football to what is pretty much the worst. At Premier League corner kicks these days you can see a series of WWE bouts taking place in the six-yard box. It’s dreadful to watch and it goes largely unpunished.
All three goals at the Emirates last weekend came from corners: Arsenal scored from two but conceded from one and looked like they might do so every time Chelsea had another.
Nonetheless, Arsenal remain the masters of the set-piece rucking and mauling and seem to have their opponents spooked (16 goals from corners already this season). They play Manchester City in the Carabao Cup final in a couple of weeks: how will Pep Guardiola stop them?
In the meantime, referees might try to get a grip on all the wrestling. They could take a leaf from the enforcers of Sadiq Khan’s dreadful 20mph speed-limit policy: dish out penalties by the fistful and order may just be restored.
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