Q. As an avid reader of your column, I was hoping you might be able to help. I sadly lost my wife last year but have been lucky enough to have found a new love. Her husband also died last year. We have known each other for ages and all our children are friends, but my problem is how do I introduce her to friends? I don’t like ‘partner’ or ‘other half’ and I feel that we are too old for ‘girlfriend/boyfriend’. What do you suggest?
– Name and address withheld
A. One recently matched sixtysomething singleton from the Exeter area refers to his new romantic interest as his ‘handler’. He points out that she fulfils very much the same role as do professional handlers working with high-profile individuals, namely managing, protecting and escorting. He says his friends enjoy asking whether there is a ‘hands-on’ aspect to the relationship and everyone can have a laugh.
Q. We have an old friend of whom we are fond but whose wife constantly criticises whenever we see her. On her last visit, she was even worse than usual, repeatedly correcting both us and some of our guests. We have always taken it on the chin, but last time she was particularly imperious as they left and I couldn’t help doing an obvious eye roll before turning away. We hoped this might have prompted an apology but none came. Despite liking her husband, we are now reluctant to be in her company, much less want her to stay again. Do we say something to her husband (who may be aware anyway)? The alternative of just seeing him on his own won’t be easy.
– P.F., Warminster, Wilts
A. Your old friend must find something loveable in his wife, so perhaps you would too under other circumstances. Bear in mind that jealousy of a partner’s pre-existing emotional ties can underlie antisocial behaviour in a subconscious bid to discourage further invitations from perceived rivals. Invite them again, but this time put her next to an overwhelmingly charismatic male friend who will agree to find her fascinating. She is likely to behave better and this may set a new pattern.
Q. My wife and I have taken delivery of a beautiful Fortnum & Mason wicker hamper with only straw inside. How do I write a thank-you letter, since I don’t know whether the contents were stolen or our friend did intend to send only the hamper?
– W.F., London SE14
A. There is no need to turn this into a problem. Simply ring up Fortnum’s customer service. Supply your friend’s name and your address and they will tell you what was actually ordered.
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