Westminster has its faults, but if you’re looking for a good old-fashioned day of mistakes, backbiting, and last-minute drama, there really is nowhere like it. Today it was there in spades: Titus Andronicus by the cast of Rainbow. The Jenrick sacking had everything – apparent incompetence by a junior aide, wild conspiratorial accusations and a hastily convened press conference. Never mind tea or pomp or sarcasm, nobody does this sort of clattering political cock-up quite like the British.
Reform had always planned to have a press conference today. In fact, they had two. Spare a thought for Lord Offord, unveiled as Reform’s leader in Scotland but destined to be only the bridesmaid and not the bride. Reform said that this second conference was originally going to be about challenging the cancellation of elections in the courts; instead, it became Jenrick’s big coming-out party. Bobby J: the latest and most coveted of the Reform debutantes.
Après Bobby, la deluge
Despite Mr Jenrick being the headline, there was always only one person who was going to speak first. Mr Farage tried to frame the entire thing as an unforced error by Kemi Badenoch. He used the phrase ‘jumped the gun’ multiple times and even claimed he thought it was only ‘60/40’ that Jenrick would have come over and that there’d been no immediate plans to do so. Farage is exceptionally good at selling things he believes in to the public and the press. This felt less convincing, perhaps because it might not be true.
There was an awkward pause as Jenrick was meant to appear: had he had second thoughts? Farage tried to get things moving: ‘do we play music now or what’s going to happen?’ One wonders what music Reform had waiting to go? ‘Bad Blood’? ‘Cry me a River?’ My money is on ‘Jolene’. ‘He hasn’t changed his mind!’ Mr Farage assured the crowd. You sort of imagine backstage at any Reform event is a bit like the back room on Jerry Springer.
Finally, Bobby emerged. Lee Anderson, who was dressed in a cream suit and black shirt like an extra from Ocean’s 11, gave him a hug. He delivered his speech, coruscating the Conservatives. ‘They broke Britain,’ he said. This part was delivered with feeling; much of what he said of his former party rang painfully true – though some might observe that they’re perhaps a little less internally divided now than they were this morning.
As the Tories had claimed would happen, many of Mr Jenrick’s former colleagues came in for ‘constructive criticism’ during his speech. Peep Show’s Mark Corrigan famously observed that ‘as a petty and vindictive person, I have to make a special effort not to appear petty and vindictive’. Bobby J must have missed that memo – or left it on the photocopier.
One thing, recorded elsewhere, was noticeable. Mr Farage looked dreadful; the turquoise of the Reform branding contrasted with his pallor. His demeanour was tired too: more late-career Tommy Cooper than the impish sprite of yore. While I suspect he isn’t going anywhere soon, he now at least has a Dauphin who might be credible. Meanwhile, the Reform leader gave a hard deadline for other defectors of 7 May. I suspect it will be saved in quite a few Google calendars this evening. Later, Reform briefed that they are already seeing ‘a flood’ of Tories getting in touch. Après Bobby, la deluge.
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