As the author of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, I have to acknowledge that I still have some way to go to match the radioactive negativity Harry and Meghan generate with their every move. The Sussexes’ accumulated expertise in committing increasingly nauseating acts of hypocritical entitlement with every week that passes should qualify them both for a Regius Chair in Blithe Privilege at the University of Self-Regard.
The latest episode in their narcissistic odyssey – The Sillyad – has been their agonising over where to send their children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, to school. Harry and Meghan’s decision to educate them in England is, in its way, admirable. Seeking to protect them from the toxic mix of celebrity and wokery that marred their Californian sojourn, and rooting them back in the country that gave them their titles, is the right choice.
But what has turned out to be the wrong one is the fashionable North Oxford prep they have had to abandon after only two days. What on earth possessed the Sussexes, who have spent millions trying to preserve their privacy, to choose a school whose other parents are media moguls, socially competitive gossips and obsessive networkers? It is no environment for anyone who wants their children to grow up normal. Here be dragons.
There is an answer, however. One which, at a stroke, will make the Sussexes rooted, relatable and relevant. And which will put them at a social, educational and moral advantage over the Prince and Princess of Wales (should such a thing ever occur to them). They should send Archie and Lilibet to my state primary school.
The West London Free School Primary is the obvious place for the Sussex children. The school, which I co-founded and opened in 2013, is ranked ‘outstanding’ by Ofsted and gets some of the best results in the country when it comes to the national assessments for reading, writing and maths, as well as the SATs at the end of Year 6. It has developed its own knowledge-based curriculum and exported it to more than 400 other primaries.
Not only would Archie and Lilibet receive a great education in the classroom, they’d also receive one in the playground. Based in Hammersmith, the school attracts pupils from a wide range of ethnic backgrounds and an equally diverse social mix, from the Victorian houses of Brackenbury Village to the local council estates. (We set aside 30 per cent of the places for children from disadvantaged backgrounds.) The Sussex children would leave with a good understanding of modern Britain, and friends from all walks of life, instead of being confined to a privileged bubble in the Home Counties. Isn’t that what Harry and Meghan, who are vocal champions of diversity and inclusion, want for their kids?
The Sussexes apparently abandoned their Oxford option because of security concerns. At the West London Free School we can provide all the reassurance they need. It’s accessible. Located in a cul-de-sac opposite Godolphin and Latymer, it’s about a five-minute drive from the Hammersmith exit of the M4. But it’s also safe. As Sadiq Khan reminds us daily, London has never been safer. And we’re easily reachable by public transport – one of the big advantages of a London school and in keeping with Harry and Meghan’s professed commitment to the environment. Archie and Lilibet in school uniform on the bus, accompanied by a minder or two, would be far less of a security risk than the ‘convoy’ of SUVs the Sussexes used to ferry their children to the now abandoned school in Oxford.
Among the many advantages of getting them into my primary is that they’d automatically get a place in the senior school, ranked the best comprehensive in the country by the Sunday Times. Last year, 63 per cent of students got grades 7-9 in their GCSEs (A/A* in old money), compared with 65 per cent at St Edward’s in Oxford, the private school where many of the children at the prep school Archie and Lilibet briefly attended end up. Paradoxically, they’d also be more likely to get into Oxford, with the West London Free School sending more kids to Oxbridge each year than most private institutions.
They’d leave with an understanding of modern Britain, instead of being confined to a privileged bubble
Of course, getting a place at the West London Free School Primary won’t be easy. Unlike the majority of Britain’s fee-paying schools, we’re oversubscribed. My advice to Harry and Meghan is to apply for an in-year place for Archie. If we have a dropout in Year 2, he might get lucky – and once he’s in, the sibling policy will take care of Lilibet.
I expect they’ll be nervous about sending their kids to an inner-city state school. Since setting up several free schools – I co-founded four in total – I’ve had to calm the nerves of many a prospective parent for whom a state education is unknown territory. Won’t their kids be bullied for being posh? Well, thanks to the traditional approach to discipline we take, every child is treated equally – the egalitarian dream the Duchess aspires to.
Come on, Harry and Meghan. Forget about sending the kids to a lesser version of the fancy school that didn’t work out. Instead, choose one of the best state schools in the country and show your children that when it comes to championing modern, multicultural Britain, you don’t just talk the talk; you also walk the walk. As an added bonus, the annual PTA fundraiser would be a great opportunity for Meghan to shift all that unsold stock of her jam. Provided, that is, she doesn’t object to giving the money to a good cause.
Comments