How the wheels came off the Brexit bus

The wheels have come off the Brexit bus. The Spectator is grieved to report that the famous red ‘Vote Leave’ coach, E14 ACK, which drove Boris Johnson and the editor of this magazine to campaign stops around the country, failed its MOT last month.

When tested, it was found to have ‘major defects’ requiring a ‘repair immediately’. Several of the coach’s suspension components had ‘deteriorated’ and there was also corrosion in the chassis.

Almost exactly ten years since the referendum, and with over half of voters now believing Brexit was a mistake, the metaphors write themselves. But Remainers should not be too gleeful. In a late result, the coach has been fixed and is back on the road after a retest.

The vehicle, perhaps the most famous bus in British history, has its own 2,300-word Wikipedia entry, solemnly relating how on its first outing, to Truro, Johnson ‘stood on [its] steps and waved a Cornish pasty’. It details how it was played by a lookalike bus in the Benedict Cumberbatch drama Brexit: the Uncivil War and how flotillas of imitation and parody buses, operated by Remain campaigners, sprung up in its wake.

The bus has always been a controversy magnet. One early revelation was that it was made in Poland and Germany. A campaign spokesman deadpanned: ‘Of course it’s a German bus. We want it to run on time.’ Its most contentious aspect, of course, was the claim on the side: ‘We send the EU £350 million a week, let’s fund our NHS instead.’ This exaggeration was one of many straws (alleged Russian interference; supposed social media witchcraft) clutched at by Remainers to explain their defeat. If only the correct figure (a mere £252 million a week, or £165 million net of EU spending in the UK) had been given, Britain would have been saved!

Since the referendum, the bus, which belongs (now, as then) to Acklams Coaches near Hull, has returned to its original dark-grey livery and remains, according to the company, ‘one of the most impressive vehicles in our fleet’. It has been used since to carry Will Young, the Pakistan cricket team, and a branding campaign for a fintech start-up. With its MOT retest, the Brexit bus would be perfect for any Vote Leave celebration comeback tour – though, inexplicably, none yet seems to have been planned.