Lord Khan of Tooting today stepped up his mission to profane the capital, announcing that St Paul’s Cathedral will host a series of nightclub-inspired music events. The house of God is, it seems, preparing to become a house of techno.
The cathedral has teamed up with Fabric, the Farringdon nightclub famed for its MDMA-fuelled drum and bass benders. The club had its licence revoked in 2016 after two 18-year-olds died from drug-taking and Islington Council identified a ‘culture of drug use’ at the venue. But never mind all that. Thanks to a new four-year exclusive partnership, revellers can now swap the high altar for getting high – all within one of London’s most sacred spaces. Ecstasy in the nave, anyone?
Celebrating the deal, Lord Khan posted on X:
Fabric. St Paul’s Cathedral. Name a more iconic duo. Bringing together these two institutions will create a one-of-a-kind experience, pairing world-class music with one of our most special landmarks.
A more iconic duo? Mr S would suggest Sodom and Gomorrah. Sandra Lynes Timbrell, the cathedral’s director of visitor engagement, hailed the partnership as a chance to ‘showcase world-class talent and create unforgettable experiences for audiences’. The first event will take place on 29 October. One imagines the communion wine will be the least intoxicating substance on offer.
The deal has, of course, sparked fury among those old-fashioned enough to believe that St Paul’s should remain a house of worship rather than become a bass-thumping temple to Bacchus. Responding to Lord Khan, shadow culture secretary Rebecca Paul said: ‘It isn’t a “landmark”. It’s our history. Nelson and Wellington are buried under that floor. Now there are plans to quite literally party over the graves of our heroes. Something is wrong when even those tasked with caring for our most valued cultural assets don’t seem to know what they’re for anymore. This simply wouldn’t happen at Central London Mosque would it?’
Nick Timothy chimed in: ‘It’s not a “special landmark”. It’s a place of worship. Built to celebrate Christ. And treating it like a nightclub is completely wrong.’
Quite. Sir Christopher Wren is buried beneath St Paul’s too. After this assault on the fabric of his cathedral, he will presumably be spinning in his grave at 174 beats per minute.
Comments