Of all the disturbing news out there at the moment, up there is some American company’s possible takeover of easyJet. Last week we learned that the budget airline had agreed in principle to a £5.7 billion takeover offer from US asset management firm Apollo – days after accepting a bid from rival firm Castlelake.
What? Good old sleazyJet exiting the London market? Just when it was becoming really, really good? Alright, I may be exaggerating slightly here – budget airlines never get really, really good (that is why they are called budget, dear). But there is budget and then there is budget. Who can forget when Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary floated the idea of standing seats on flights and a £1 ‘pay-per-pee’ fee to use the lavatory in 2010? O’Leary is probably what gave ‘no-frills flying’ its bad name. Sir Stelios Haji-Ioannou, the founder and CEO of easyJet, seems to be a different animal.
I’ve got my quibbles, of course. Please don’t bombard me with offers from easyCar, easyHotel, easyGym and so on – I’m never going to bite! And how amazing would it be if the firm did what Japan Airlines has taken to doing (which is to flag on the seat selection map where babies are sitting)? But these are mere suggestions. Unlike certain other airlines – the ones that can afford to charge more and appear to spend all their money on hiring ‘celebrities’ such as the comedian Asim Chaudhry aka Chabuddy to appear in their safety videos – the management at easyJet seem to be doing their darndest to make the experience of flying at least bearable.
Bearable, to the point of being pleasant, I’d even say. I speak with some experience here, doing the Gatwick to Mykonos leg about 20 times a year now we have a little place there. Take my last trip. Door to door, it took less time than it can take to drive from Chiswick to Wiltshire on a bank holiday (here I am not exaggerating as anyone who has travelled on the A303 in high summer will know). Not just that but it was so, well… easy. From the helpful smiley staff milling around the bag drop stands to its genius speedy boarding system (crucial for legging it to passport control where they don’t let Brits through the EU channels any more), Sir Stel and Co. have really pulled their collective finger out in terms of stretching how far the money goes.
I’m not the only convert. John Caudwell, billionaire investor and philanthropist, is also a fan and so, I can confirm, was Tiffany Trump once (we tried to sneak a picture of her at baggage check but her bodyguard threatened to take our cameras away).
I have become a total easyJet evangelist, banging on about the advantages at any available chance
As a result I have become a total easyJet evangelist, banging on about the advantages at any available chance – perhaps too much so. Yet, will any of those stubborn British Airways loyalists we invite out to stay during the summer ever listen to us? They will not.
I don’t understand this dogged fealty so many sensible friends have to BA. It surely cannot be because of how fabulously the wifi works on board or its unparalleled in-flight service or its faultless punctuality record. Nor can it possibly be about its air miles programme. I’ve been playing that catch-22 game for years, seduced into flying BA just to get those wretched miles and cling on to my precious silver card.
But here I am banging on about it again. Suffice to say to all you BA tier-point junkies, there is a better life and it comes in orange and white packaging with lowercase Cooper Black font.
For now, anyway. Who knows whether this Apollo bid will actually go through or what the firm might think to do once it acquires it. (See BHS, Manchester United and Thames Water for dismal examples of what happens when foreign magnates hijack British companies).
In the interim, I will continue to patronise darling easyJet whenever possible. Sadly, free upgrades don’t apply because if anyone deserves one after writing this paean, it’s me.
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