A tactical guide to Valentine’s Day
Love is war — or is it a battlefield? Avoid the landmines with this helpful manual
Tyler Grant
Friday
Sunday
What stunts should we expect to see at future State of the Unions?
Five possible scenarios, each more likely than the last
Wednesday
How to write 2020’s Great American Novel
Or, the Manic Pixie Inclusive Totally Woke Dream Manuscript
Friday
Amazon Prime should be protected by the War Powers Act
Congress should protect the American people, our streams of commerce and two-day free shipping
Tuesday
How to have the perfect phone call
Time of day is important
Saturday
The impeachment process we deserve
The gavel will fall. Trump will remain in office. Democrats will mourn. Pollsters will poll and 2020 will be a nasty, nasty election
Tuesday
America should kidnap pandas to end the trade war
The downsides are low
