Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike
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Fancy owning a slice of media history? Or living in a notorious crime scene? Well now you can lay your press hat where you call home at 'Fortress Wapping', home of the UK branch of Rupert Murdoch's empire ever since the antipodean mogul's 1986 battle with the print unions. With News Co moving to the baby Shard in London Bridge, the old home of the Times, the Sun and the late News of the Screws is going to be turned into 1,800 flats.
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Yesterday’s PMQs was a sombre affair, because of the untimely death of well-liked Labour MP Paul Goggins. The party leaders made a concerted effort to be a little more civil to one another. And backbenchers seemed subdued by the loss of one of their own. There were a few exceptions, though. Labour’s Chris Bryant took great pleasure in singling out Matthew Hancock for ‘not quite entering into the spirit of today’ when the Tory Minister dared to suggest that Labour’s jobs pledge had been ‘absolutely demolished’. As usual, Bryant gave a running commentary of proceedings online. He made a passing literary reference when the Prime Minister donned some glasses: Cameron wears glasses. Always at my back I hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
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The open primary to choose the 2016 Labour candidate for London Mayor is a dot on horizon; but speculation is underway. Mr Steerpike has been reading the form. Tessa Jowell, the former Olympics minister and outgoing MP for Dulwich, had a busy festive period: turning on the waterworks and displaying signs of Tourettes in this Guardian interview. Here is what she said in response to a question about those pressmen who say that her estrangement from her husband David Mills during his run-in with the Italian courts was manufactured: ‘Frankly, you know, those arseholes are so fucking rancid that I just hope every morning they wake up and think: 'I'm ashamed of the job I do.
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While Michael Gove and academic lefties continue to row about the causes of the Great War, the education secretary’s wife, Sarah Vine, has helpfully poured some fuel on the fire. Vine’s always-mischievous Mail column reveals that her husband admires the Germans: 'While I wasn’t looking, my husband, Michael Gove, appears to have declared war on Germany. This has prompted some commentators to compare him to Basil ‘Don’t mention the War’ Fawlty. This is understandable, but wrong: he actually loves Germany and all things Teutonic, from Richard Wagner to bratwurst.' She mentioned it once; but I think she got away with it.
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Did Robert Halfon, the Tory MP for Harlow, get a new suit for Christmas? He was resplendent in this russet/chestnut suit at today's Education Questions. Had he not been wearing short hair, he would have passed for Ron Burgundy of Anchorman fame. Bold.
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The Chancellor is scaring the horses up in Brum with his ‘hard truths’ speech on the economy. Meanwhile, the troops in Westminster have that ‘back to school’ feeling. Mr Steerpike has been asking Conservative MPs, ranging from loyalists to rebels and from old timers to young scamps, for their New Year predictions. Many of the answers followed a similar theme. ‘UKIP will wipe the floor with everyone in the European elections, followed by a wide ranging ministerial reshuffle which doesn’t include me afterwards,’ said one noisy backbencher. This feeling was echoed by one junior government figure: ‘Big changes to Cabinet in early spring, poll lead by mid-year and minority Tory government by end of 2014.
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Ministers have spent the past 12 months in an almighty flap about how to stem a feared flood of Bulgarian and Romanian migrants once transitional controls on their freedom of movement lift. They've announced and re-announced measures on benefit tourism, housing and access to public services. But while they've been tinkering with these measures which may or may not make any difference to the number of people who do pitch up, they've managed to forget one very effective measure indeed. If only David Cameron had exclusively revealed to the worried press months ago that the best way of deterring an influx would be to deploy Home Affairs Committee chair Keith Vaz to personally patrol the UK border.
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After a seasonal interlude, rival Tories are back to doing what they do best: warring over the heart and soul of the party. In the cuddly corner, we have Bright Blue; a think tank of hoody-huggers who are imploring the PM to be nice to immigrants. The Guardian has been purring with approval since Bright Blue’s director Ryan Shorthouse ‘specifically called for the Tory Party to adopt a Liberal-Conservative manifesto for the election’: ‘At the moment, the messaging is quite negative and uninspiring – it's not enough to win voters and gain momentum. We need to be more inspiring and bigger picture than that and we need a positive vision, not just pandering to prejudice and uncertainty and anger. There has been a surge in Ukip, but you can't outdo Ukip.
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Tory Defence Minister Anna Soubry has never been famed for her delicate, flowery language. An MP recently complained to Mr Steerpike that he'd 'had to leave the smoking room after hearing her and Simon Burns banging on in there'. Today she took the smoking room language to Andrew Marr's sofa. After watching comedian Rory Bremner impersonate David Cameron, Ed Miliband and Nigel Farage, Soubry merrily chipped in that 'I always think he looks like somebody has put their finger up his bottom and he really rather likes it'.
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Sanctimonious Lib Dem deputy leader Simon Hughes has accepted a government job, despite having said that he would not. Speculation about who might replace him reached fever pitch last night at the annual Nick Clegg bash, which is always a night to remember. Insiders deride the job as ‘talking to bearded activists about hemp soup’. It’s among the more tedious posts in Westminster; but someone has to do it to keep the Lib Dem grass roots sweet. Tories and right-wing yellows are still sore that Nick Clegg sacked dishy West Country MP Jeremy Browne during the last reshuffle, and #TeamJezza soon gained traction.
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There has been much amusement in the last couple of days after Sophie Gadd, a student at the University of York, snapped a picture of Johann Baptist Lampi’s 1794 oil on canvas portrait of Catherine II the Great while visiting the Deutsches Historisches Museum in Berlin. Eagle-eyed Sophie pointed out the immediate and obvious similarities between the Empress of Russia and David Cameron. Her story traversed from the Twittersphere, and made into the pages of the Daily Mail and the Telegraph. But it does not end there. The Spectator can now reveal that the reason Catherine the Great and our Prime Minister look so similar is because they are related. Quite closely in fact — second cousins, nine generations removed.
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Home truths hurt the most when they come from your own side. Mr S was gabbing with a backbench Tory MP the other day, talking about how the Tories might connect with what the said MP described as '[those] parts of the public that we used to rely on in the Eighties and Nineties.' The MP said rather wearily that the party needed to speak 'in a way that those in our party who are only a trust fund failure away from having to work for a living, struggle to.' Ouch. Who could he have been talking about, I wonder?
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Boris may be under fire for his London bike scheme - what with soaring costs, declining use and Barclays cutting their sponsorship. But not everyone is so critical. The iconic blue bikes have achieved international fame, not least in Gambia. Probably tricky to find a docking station in the desert though. Via Oxfam Campaigns and Policy Director Ben Phillips.
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The campaigning backbench MP Robert Halfon was invited to say grace at the First Annual Margaret Thatcher Memorial Dinner at Churchill College, Cambridge on Saturday night. It's not often you get table thumping after a prayer: 'For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly grateful for the free market that keeps the price of food down and competition forever and ever. Amen.' Amen to that.
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Could Jeremy Paxman look any less enamoured with the new Newsnight setup? He stopped bothering to shave as soon as the new boss, Ian Katz, turned up, and an article in Prospect magazine examines the recent high-profile departures from the programme. It criticises Katz's 'Two Kims' approach to broadcasting, which he pioneered at the Guardian, and asks whether Newsnight is doomed as a sinking ship. 'For the past two decades successive BBC2 Controllers have reportedly dreamt of getting rid of Newsnight and freeing up the post-10.30pm slot to make way for long dramas, films or late-night shows which might have a different feel from the early evening blokey fare such as QI and Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
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The huge rift in the Home Affairs Select Committee was laid bare last week when Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger appeared before the committee to defend his decision to publish state secrets and to challenge criticism that he had endangered national security by doing so. Committee chairman Keith Vaz always enjoys being in the limelight. He took great pleasure in slapping down lawyer turned Tory MP Michael Ellis, who was getting very grumpy at proceedings and said that he would not let the hearing turn into ‘a Labour love in’. Vaz hit back later that day, saucily telling your humble correspondent that Ellis ‘just needs more sex’. When this was put to Ellis, the Tory said he that had the greatest respect for his chairman, ‘usually’.
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It's a shame that Adam Afriyie now seems to be a busted flush when it comes to his leadership ambitions. The Tory MP had succeeded not just in designating his fantasy cabinet, but also the lower ministerial ranks. Mr Steerpike hears that at the height of his plotting, he sidled up to fellow Conservative James Gray in a lift to tell him that his talents were not being appreciated by the Prime Minister. Then he added, comfortingly, that though he couldn't offer him a place in his Cabinet, he'd definitely be able to do something at Minister of State level. Gray did not want to give a comment to Mr Steerpike, but presumably he was delighted to have been considered at all by the great man.
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When the Pollard Report into the BBC Jimmy Savile abuse affair was published in December 2012, BBC Trust Chairman Lord Patten confidently told a press conference: 'As far as we’re concerned the report is an excellent account of what happened. We’re totally in support of the recommendations, and that as far as I am concerned is that.' But that has not been that. Readers will recall that Helen Boaden’s testimony, relating to a conversation that she had with Mark Thompson about the Newsnight investigation into Jimmy Savile, was omitted from the report. It should be noted that Mr Thompson has ‘slightly different recollections’ of this conversation than does Ms.
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Ed Miliband wanted agreement from the Prime Minister about MPs' pay today, but Mr Steerpike hears that the Labour leader is keen to strike agreement on another topic. After David Cameron revealed to the Spectator that he was a member of #TeamNigella, Labour sources whisper to Steerpike that Ed is 'definitely a member of #TeamNigella too'. So that just leaves Nick Clegg.
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Ed Balls, the Shadow Chancellor, gave an abortive performance in response to the Autumn Statement last week; he blamed his embarrassment on the cacophony of jeers from the Tory benches. You might have thought that Balls would lay low this week. Not a bit of it. There he was chanting 'Dave, Dave, Dave' and testing his new hand gesture, which is simply to point downwards. ‘He can dish it out but he can't take it,’ said the PM. Cameron is easily riled by Balls; but he went in for the kill this time: ‘I'll tell you what's going down: his career’. It wasn't a great line; but the fact that Ed Miliband was openly laughing at the gag should concern the dwindling forces in the Balls camp.