Steerpike

Another week, another angry ticking off in the House of Commons by speaker Lindsay Hoyle. Today it was Conservative MP Paul Bristow who felt the full might of Hoyle’s wrath after being singled out for heckling Labour leader Keir Starmer during Prime Minister’s Questions. Standing at the despatch box, Starmer had challenged Rishi Sunak’s grip on illegal immigration. To the sound of taunting from the government benches, he said: ‘Mr Speaker, if anyone wants to see what uncontrolled immigration looks like, all they’ve got to do is wake up tomorrow morning and see what this government…’ It appears that Hoyle managed to make out Bristow’s voice amongst the hecklers, because at this point he cut Starmer off and rounded on the unfortunate member for Peterborough.

They say genius is never appreciated in its own time. So we can only be grateful that Gary Lineker's activism is now getting the attention and recognition it deserves. The millionaire motormouth will be awarded a gong on Wednesday from – no joke – Amnesty International, the self-proclaimed 'world's leading human rights organisation.' Ironic, given that UK taxpayers are forced to pay Lineker's salary via the licence fee, on pain of imprisonment for non-payment of fines... Like the good eco-warrior that he is, Lineker will jet into Rome to collect a 'sport and human rights award' by the organisation, which described him as a 'staunch advocate for the rights of refugees and migrants'. Well, that's one way of putting it.

Fresh from claiming the scalp of Dominic Raab, is the civil service now after Suella Braverman? The Sunday Times reports this weekend that the Home Secretary wanted civil servants to help her ‘dodge’ a speeding fine, amid much grumbling about the government’s migration policies. Plus ça change… Mr S read the latest reports with intrigue. The Home Secretary was caught speeding last summer, and, as is standard, was offered to either attend a speed awareness course or have three points on her licence. Braverman apparently asked civil servants to arrange ‘a private one-to-one driving awareness course’, but the civil servants responded that this was not within their remit.

'Think without borders,' declares the masthead of the New European. But while the pro-EU paper claims to be an advocate for unity and tolerance, it seems they hold no qualms about stirring up division on Fleet Street. Its star columnist, Will Self, has filed a bizarre 2,300-word rant this week about the Guardian's editorial choices, titled 'My obsession with Adrian Chiles’ column.' The basis for this punny headline is the relationship between Graun columnist Adrian Chiles and editor Katharine Viner. Chiles has written weekly articles for the paper – usually peppered with inoffensive observations, whimsical witterings and banal anecdotes – since February 2019. In April 2020, he began dating Viner, whom he met through their work at the wokest paper in all the West.

Oh dear. It seems that FBPE’s (Follow Back, Pro EU) favourite journalist is paying the price for her accusations against Arron Banks. The Court of Appeal costs have just come through against Carole Cadwalladr after making claims about Banks’ ties to Russia. And with costs on both sides in the region of £1.6 million, the judge has said that the Observer hack has to pay for 60 per cent of Banks’ costs – as well as 100 per cent of her own.  That could put Cadwalladr’s total costs in the region of £2 million or so. Ouch. Steerpike caught up with Banks earlier this afternoon and spoke to the multi-millionaire mogul as he was celebrating in Rome. ‘It’s a great result’ he declared, noting that he was enjoying his view of the Colosseum.

He’s been writing PMQs lines for 20 years but today, at long last, Oliver Dowden got the chance to deliver them himself. With Sunak globe-trotting, his deputy relished the chance to face off against the Stockport scrapper, Angela Rayner. Labour’s deputy leader got some laughs with her reminder that after last year’s locals, Dowden had quit his then post as party chair, saying of 300 losses that someone needed to take responsibility. Who, Rayner asked, would be doing so this time after more than a thousand? As the jeers died down, Dowden hit back: Can I just say, it really is a pleasure to see the right honourable lady here today. I was, though, expecting to face the Labour leader’s choice for the next deputy prime minister if they win the election.

Another set of local elections offers another chance to expose the fallacy of the ‘progressive alliance.’ Every so often, misty-eyed centrists of a certain age like to wax lyrical about Labour, the Lib Dem’s and Greens joining together to kick those wicked Tories out of office. A Marvel Universe for moderates, if you like. Sadly for such commentators, political reality has a nasty habit of shattering these illusions. Every election produces unlikely bed fellows, offensive to those of a progressive disposition and this year is no exception. For up in Lancashire, the Greens have opted to back the Conservatives on Hyndburn Council, after this month’s elections left Labour and the Tories with 16 councillors each.

It's not the SNP's year is it? Just when the nationalists thought they could catch a break after the chaos of recent months, fresh revelations have been published about the infamous police raid on Nicola Sturgeon’s house. It turns out that Police Scotland put in their requests for a search warrant of the Sturgeon-Murrell property midway through the leadership contest on 20 March. But officers were left waiting for another two weeks until they got the green light on 3 April — seven days after the contest had ended. Talk about convenient timing for establishment candidate Humza Yousaf.