Philip Patrick

Here we go again. Just when you thought a period of welcome stasis might have descended on the world of football rules and regulations, we look set for yet more flux. On Tuesday, the International Football Association Board (IFAB) agreed to test a raft of new measures in the game. These include sin bins – a potential 10-minute detention for bad behaviour – and a new rule stipulating that only the captain is allowed to remonstrate with the referee. Trials could be held (including in the Premier League) as early as next season. IFAB has identified unsportsmanlike behaviour by players, including dissent, as ‘the cancer that [might] kill football’.

Pity the poor Everton fans. Just as their once mighty club, now a perennial relegation battler, seemed to have a climbed a few ladders in recent weeks to low mid-table, they land on a snake. Yesterday the Premier League handed them a ten point penalty for financial irregularities, plunging them back down into the danger zone of relegation. Everton admitted the offences and pleaded mitigation: unexpectedly high interest payments on their new stadium project, the loss of a Russian sponsor due to UK government sanctions in the wake of the war in Ukraine and losses (estimated at £10 million) incurred as a result of criminal charges brought against a ‘player X’. They also stressed that they had cooperated fully with the investigation (unlike some others). But to no avail.

You can wait ages for a Japan themed Hollywood film and then three come at once. In an odd spasm of Japanophilia in 2003, Sophia Coppola’s sophomore effort Lost in Translation was swiftly followed by Tom Cruise’s Last Samurai and Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill Vol 1. The latter two may have made more money but Sophia Coppola’s film is the most interesting. On its twentieth birthday, Coppola’s vaguely unsettling and still controversial romantic (sort of) comedy is ripe for re-examination. The plot, if it can be called one, sees Bill Murray as a veteran Hollywood actor in Tokyo to film a Suntory whisky commercial, for which he will earn $2 million.

It’s official, well almost. Fifa has announced the location for the 2030 (centenary) World Cup. And the winner is… all over the place. In an extraordinary departure the tournament will be played in three continents with matches in Argentina, Paraguay, Uruguay, Spain, Portugal and Morocco. The decision, which will surely be rubber stamped at next year’s congress has been hailed by Fifa as ‘unit[ing] the world in a unique global celebration’ and by Football Supporters Europe (a body officially recognised by Uefa) as ‘Horrendous for supporters’ and ‘The end of the World Cup as we know it.’ It is tempting to speculate if Fifa is on a mission to destroy the world’s most popular and successful sporting tournament.

Luis Rubiales, the embattled Spanish football chief, has bowed to the seemingly inevitable and resigned from both his positions as president of the Spanish football federation and UEFA vice president. He made the announcement during an interview with Piers Morgan on TalkTV and then confirmed his decision in a subsequent statement for the press. Rubiales had been suspended for 90 days by Fifa following the now infamous kiss with Spanish captain Jenni Hermoso (which he says was consensual and she says wasn’t) at the medal ceremony after his country’s triumph in the Women’s World Cup final last month.

The niece of Jonny Kitagawa, founder of the Japanese talent agency Jonny & Associates, stepped down this week from her role as president, acknowledging the decades long sexual abuse of the company’s young clients by its founder (who died in 1999). In a typically Japanese scene of corporate self-abasement, Julie Keiko Fujishima apologised to the victims and pledged to dedicate the rest of her life to addressing the issue. It was a bravura performance but one that has been met with deep cynicism, at least from some in Japan.

‘Money has never been a motivation,' according to footballer Jordan Henderson, the ex Liverpool captain and recent recruit to Al Ettifaq in the Saudi pro-league. But it is hard to believe that the main reason for moving to the Middle East wasn't the reported £700,000-a-week contract. For many football fans, Henderson tarnished his reputation with his high-profile transfer earlier this summer. Now, he has finally broken his silence on the subject. Yet his interview with the Athletic might make matters worse.  One of the biggest criticisms aimed at the footballer – who was a vocal advocate of the rainbow laces and armband campaign in support of LGBT rights during his time in the Premier League – is that he has turned his back on gay fans.

What’s in a kiss? More perhaps than just a moment of bliss. It was really rather stupid of Luis Rubiales, the president of the Spanish football association, to grip the women’s team captain Jenni Hermoso, as if she herself were the World Cup trophy, and plant a smacker full on her lips in the medal ceremony following the team’s victory over England. But he can hardly have expected the Spanish inquisition that has followed.

Well, that’s the end of that. Football, like an unrepentant runaway, stubbornly refuses to come home. Spain, deservedly probably, edged the thrilling, almost unbearably tense final and England will return to a warm, if not ecstatic, reception. England’s first football World Cup final in 57 years was undoubtedly that rarest of phenomena these days: a truly national event, with a TV audience likely to set a record for any female sports broadcast. It will also open a conversation about the importance of and future of women’s football. What should that conversation be like? I have a few suggestions and a few appeals.  For a start, can we stop comparing the men’s and women’s games in terms of quality of performance? Let’s dial down both the hype and counter-hype.

Sarina Wiegman, the manager of England’s women’s football team, probably has a lot on her mind at the moment, what with preparing for Sunday’s World Cup Final against Spain and all that. But she was given one more thing to ponder when Mark Bullingham, Chief Executive of the FA, appeared to tout her as a possible replacement for Gareth Southgate when the current England men’s team manager leaves. Bullingham said the Lionesses coach was ‘doing a brilliant job’. And when it came to the England men’s team coaching job, he expressed his displeasure with the term ‘best man for the job’ and commented that football is ‘behind other sports in terms of a lack of female coaches at the top level’.

Plain old Harry Windsor, as he is now, is in Japan for the International Sports Promotion Summit and a few low-key engagements before moving on to Singapore for a polo tournament fundraising for AIDS. The relaxed and happy looking former prince was welcomed with enthusiasm and characteristic courtesy by well-wishers as he arrived alone, wearing an Archewell branded cap, at Tokyo’s Haneda airport. Winningly, Harry flew commercial and didn’t use the VIP pathway to navigate the airport. ‘It’s good to see you again’ he said to reporters and added he’d be ‘happy to live here if you’d have me’ and actually looked as though he meant it. This is Harry’s first overseas outing as an ex-royal.