Philip Patrick

‘Language please, there are ladies present’, that was the kind of thing you would occasionally hear when some possibly overly refreshed male would forget himself and lapse into vulgarity in the presence of what was then referred to as the ‘fairer sex’. But if you thought such days were long gone, and such interjections now patronising and archaic, then think again. For at least in the sports studios of our major broadcasters it seems men must be as on the alert and careful with their language as ever. Just ask Graeme Souness.

Well, thank goodness for that. Just as it seemed the England’s women’s football team might be about to extend the nation’s 56 years in search of a continental football title, a glorious release courtesy of an injury time winner from Chloe Kelly broke the spell. Saving us all from yet more psychological trauma like that inflicted by Gareth Southgate’s men’s team’s recent near misses, the Lionesses' victory sent the stadium and the country ‘into raptures’. It was a terrific game and crowned what has been a fine tournament. To paraphrase a great war-time patriot, no one would quibble with ‘allowing ourselves a brief moment of rejoicing’.

Be honest, how excited are you about the women’s European football championship? The BBC – which will broadcast every game of the tournament that starts on Wednesday – clearly expects you to be very excited indeed. But is the BBC in danger of overhyping women’s football, and doing it and the players a disservice in the process? Our national broadcaster has form here. The coverage of the women’s World Cup of 2019 was similarly comprehensive and exhaustingly upbeat. Decent games were ‘wonderful’, mediocre games ‘good’; and ways were found to describe stinkers in some way or other positively. There were few poor players, just disappointing performances by hugely talented individuals.

‘The Hungar Shames’ screamed the Sun after England suffered a mortifying 0-4 defeat to the not so mighty Magyars last night. The game was England's worst home defeat since 1928. England now face the humiliating prospect of relegation from Tier B of the Nations League where they may join the likes of Armenia, Montenegro, and Albania. The shambolic, shapeless, performance against determined but limited opposition (Hungary are ranked 40 in the world) came on the back of three consecutive dismal outings (one goal in six hours of play, and that a penalty). England’s second favourite status for the World Cup in Qatar now seems ludicrously optimistic. Ordinarily there would be serious questions raised about the manager’s position after such a debacle.

If there is one thing that could salvage this year’s Wimbledon it would be a decent showing by the tournament’s undoubted star attraction: Emma Raducanu. Engulfed in a controversy of its own making since it banned Russians and Belarussians players in response to the war in Ukraine, and facing the loss of rankings points as a result, Wimbledon 2022 is desperately in need of a feel-good story and some positive publicity. The public will be similarly demanding. The US Open Champion may be expected to bear an especially heavy burden in her second Wimbledon appearance. But is it realistic, or fair, to expect her to shoulder it?

What a mess. With just five weeks to go before the start of the tournament, Wimbledon organisers are having to contemplate a potential fiasco. What in previous years was arguably the world’s greatest tennis tournament is at risk of becoming a fractious, politicised and potentially heavily boycotted iteration of itself.  Following a decision by the Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) and Women’s Tennis Association (WTA) to strip the tournament of ranking points in response to their ban on Russian and Belarusian players, Wimbledon could be reduced to a mere exhibition of arrogance, and short-sightedness. The tournament’s reputation may not recover for years. It is an unforced error of epic proportions. Things are now going from bad to worse.

Everton secured their Premier League safety last night, coming back from two goals down to bag a 3-2 victory against Crystal Palace. It was all too much for some of their fans who, having endured seven nail-shreddingly tense minutes of extra time, swarmed onto the pitch at the final whistle. There was at least one unpleasant consequence of the pitch invasion as an Everton fan taunted Crystal Palace manager Patrick Viera, who responded with a kick. This isn’t just a one-off, however. People are seriously starting to ask: are we seeing the return of football hooliganism? Thursday’s League Two play-off match also saw fans on the pitch at its end with punches allegedly thrown at Swindon players.

About ten years ago I was interviewed in Tokyo for a job as a fake Catholic priest, performing wedding ceremonies for Japanese couples who wanted the aesthetics of a Christian service without all the hassle of actually being Christian. In a room cluttered with tacky plastic religious paraphernalia I watched a training video of the company’s ‘top man’, an American Tom Cruise-lookalike in a cassock, ‘marrying’ a young couple. I was offered the job and it paid well but, fearing I might fluff my lines, collapse into giggles or, worst of all, come face to face with an ex-girlfriend approaching down the aisle, I turned it down.

The two leading candidates for South Korea’s presidential election in March, Lee Jae-myung of the incumbent Democratic party and Yoon Suk-yeol of the conservative People Power party, have both made men’s rights central to their campaigns. They hope to appeal to the growing constituency of outraged men’s groups who vent their frustration at feminist overreach on internet message boards and sometimes even protest on the streets. And this is no fringe community: in a poll in May, more than three-quarters of South Korean men in their twenties claimed they had suffered gender discrimination. The ostensible provocation for this anger is the outgoing president Moon Jae-in’s self-declared ‘feminist’ administration.

John Updike described America as a ‘vast conspiracy to make you happy’. Japan, a wonderful place to live in many ways, at times seems like the opposite; if not a vast conspiracy to make you unhappy, at least anxious, uncomfortable, and exhausted. This is especially true for those legions of salarymen and women sighing inwardly at the dread prospect of the ‘bonenkai’: the obligatory end of year company party.  It comes as little surprise to learn that many Japanese loathe these jamborees, which they have to attend, whether they like it or not. A survey for the Asahi Shimbun newspaper suggests many regard bonenkai as unpaid overtime, and would rather head home to their families, or bed.