Oliver Dean

Well chaps, it’s over. Reform have buckled under the pressure. The towel has been thrown in. The party in teal are walking away from it all, having recognised that they can no longer win. Have I lost the plot? Maybe. Quite possibly. Almost certainly yes. But bear with me, because I think I’m onto something big. A party can do a hell of a lot with £72 million, but winning an election might not be one of them We all know that Reform have been embroiled in repeated controversies over their donations for some time now. On the eve of their party conference, Channel 4 released footage of a sting operation which appeared to show Nigel Farage and his senior staff attempting to circumvent electoral law.

Zack Polanski exaggerates a great many things. He said that he could enlarge a woman’s breasts through hypnosis, that he had served as a spokesperson for the British Red Cross, that he had previously worked for the Ministry of Justice. All are falsehoods which make him wholly unsuitable to ever becoming prime minister. Perhaps the most spurious claim of them all, however, is that the Green party is the party that will replace the Labour party.  For more than a year, Polanski has paraded around the UK boasting of how the Greens are the real party of the left in Britain. In his first speech as leader, he proclaimed that the Greens were ‘here to replace’ Labour and, to give him some credit, it looked for a while as though they were going to do just that.

On Sunday night, the Green party booked out the famed gay London nightclub, Heaven, for what they said was going to be a ‘Green Party party.’ I paid the £16 ticket fee, donned my bright green Robin Hood outfit and trotted off to Embankment, where under a bridge the club resides.  Zack Polanski was billed as the night’s headliner, and at 9:20 p.m. he arrived. He opened with typical Green party patter, asking the crowd whether they were ‘ready to take on power and wealth’, and then proudly reflected on his time working as a security guard for Heaven. When he appealed to the crowd to ‘big it up for security’, people shouted: ‘No!’ The buzzwords and soundbites kept coming From there, the speech slipped easily into monotony and repetition.