Matt Percival

‘You should get out more.’

‘I want a better homework/life balance.’

‘Once I found a niche my career took off.’

‘I want to make it before I hit 30.’

‘You can keep yours.’

‘Remember your roaring twenties?’

‘Apparently there’s a sex tape.’

‘All the reviews are one star.’

‘Have you tried prompting him?’

‘I hear they just had an earthquake.’

‘I have thousands stashed in secret accounts that my husband knows nothing about.’

‘I used disappearing messages.’

‘I think you’ve had enough.’

‘I hope nobody notices that the galaxy is 10 per cent smaller.’

‘I have intrusive thoughts.’

‘Do we still take cash?’

‘There’s no school because the building isn’t safe.’