Lloyd Evans

The mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, and his four deputies submitted themselves to a public grilling last Tuesday. The State of London debate was chaired by James O’Brien and broadcast live on LBC. ‘I will endeavour to speak as little as possible,’ quipped the garrulous radio host who maintained his line of larky, locker-room banter throughout. ‘Sadiq Khan and the deputies,’ he said, ‘It sounds like the most rubbish band of all time.’ And he ribbed the mayor for ‘dancing like a crazy man’ at the premiere of Abba Voyage in the East End. Clearly a tight and cosy friendship there. Khan opened with a sermon about how ‘humbled’ he felt by his re-election as mayor last year.

A tasty duel at PMQs today. The party leaders were absent and their understudies, Dominic Raab and Angela Rayner, traded insults across the dispatch box. Their styles are polar opposites. Raab is laconically deadly. Rayner is brashly entertaining. And their sartorial choices reflect their different approaches. She wore a chic white frock offset with black side panels – quietly fetching. He was in a dull, slush-grey suit – a ruthless advocate reporting for duty.  Battle commenced. Rayner claimed that Boris’s overseas trip was proof that he had ‘fled the country’. And she mocked his promise to remain in office for years on end. ‘Limping on until 2030. Will the cabinet prop him for this long?

It’s tomorrow, isn’t it? The deadly hammer blow that ends Boris’s career will be delivered by voters in the crucial Yorkshire and Devon by-elections. But hang on. The deadly hammer blow was supposed to fall two weeks ago when he narrowly survived the no-confidence vote. Then again, the hammer blow was due to knock him dead when Plod gave him a fine for toasting his staff during lockdown. And that’s after he survived the deadly hammer blow that struck as soon as the cops began probing criminality at Number 10. Spare a thought for the poor guy wielding the deadly hammer. Soon he’ll die of exhaustion. The Commons has tired of the never-ending Boris-on-the-brink story.

Last week, Sir Keir was monstered by his critics after a feeble performance at PMQs saw him he fail to trouble a wounded Boris. Even his closest allies were in despair. ‘Put some more welly into it,’ advised his deputy Angela Rayner. Today we saw Sir Keir transformed and unleashed. He was flinging wellies in all directions. The search for his inner populist began with a reference to a film released 45 years ago. ‘The prime minister thinks he can perform Jedi mind-tricks on the country …. The force isn’t with him any more … He’s Jabba the Hut.’ He called Boris ‘the ostrich’ and said he was busy massaging the figures to pretend that our flat-lining economy is surging ahead on magical rocket boosters.

PMQs started with a bump. The Speaker called Dame Angela Eagle whose tone was acidic but quietly conversational. ‘This week’s events demonstrated just how loathed this Prime Minister is,’ said the dame. ‘And that’s only in his own party.’ A decent gag that won big laughs – and not just from the opposition. But Boris didn’t crumple. Anyone who hoped to see him slouching like a wounded elephant to the bone-yard was disappointed. His brush with death has sharpened his relish for the fight. ‘I thank her very much for her question. And in a long political career – so far! – I have picked up political opponents all over. That’s because this government has done some very big and very remarkable things.

Shakespeare’s Globe has a new wheeze to popularise its shows. The latest production, Henry VIII, is supported by a seminar about racism in this late play which the Bard co-wrote with John Fletcher. The online event, hosted by the Globe’s Dr Will Tosh, features dramatist-in-residence, Hannah Khalil, and Mira Kafantaris, a critical race theorist from the US. Both these experts proclaim their status as migrants and they examine Shakespeare through the lens of racist exploitation. At first glance it seems tricky to link racism with Henry VIII who was born four years before Columbus sailed for the Caribbean. But racism is everywhere, it seems.

PMQs was a warm-up today. The main event was Boris’s response to Sue Gray’s partygate report. Boris’s body language was sheepish as he sat through PMQs. He hunched in his place, head down, legs crossed, his meaty arms enclosing his ribs in what psychologists call a ‘self-comforting’ gesture. He was giving himself a bear-hug. Sir Keir predicted that the Tories would shortly perform a U-turn on windfall taxes. Probably true. But Boris wanted it both ways. He derided Labour’s passion for confiscating the assets of big business. ‘You can feel the lust for tax rising off the benches opposite,’ he said luridly. Ian Blackford delivered a long, tetchy speech which liberated enough warm air to fill a weather balloon.

It’s half-time in the Beergate versus Partygate contest. The current score, nil-nil, would suit both leaders perfectly. The economy dominated PMQs. Unemployment, boasted Boris, has reached its lowest level since 1974. Great news. But inflation is at a peak last seen in 1982. Slow-footed Sir Keir didn’t mention that. He pushed Labour’s pet-project, a windfall tax on the oil majors, which has been mishandled by ministers. Some flatly oppose it, others dither. Rishi Sunak won’t rule it out and Boris said today he was looking at ‘all measures.’ Why the wobble? Sir Keir predicted a U-turn and urged Boris to hurry up about it. The Tories have own-goaled this. If they bring it in, they’ll look weak. If they don’t, they’ll look mean.