Tourists go home
From our UK edition
Kipper Williams
Friday
Wednesday
I’ve become a fully-fledged disciple of Le Creuset.
From our UK edition
‘I’ve abandoned the Church of England and become a fully-fledged disciple of Le Creuset.’
Wednesday
Assisted dying
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Old MacDonald
From our UK edition
‘Old MacDonald had a farm...’
Wednesday
We’re here to spook the markets
From our UK edition
‘We’re here to spook the markets.’
If I sell my soul
From our UK edition
‘If I sell my soul I’ll only be clobbered with capital gains tax.’
Wednesday
Jabcentre
From our UK edition
Wednesday
No ears were severed
From our UK edition
Thursday
We’ll use the money we saved taking him out of private school to pay the fines for taking him out of state school
From our UK edition
‘We’ll use the money we saved taking him out of private school to pay the fines for taking him out of state school.’
Wednesday
Adam and Eve smoking
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Oasis reunion
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Comedy show
From our UK edition
Wednesday
It’s to block phone calls
From our UK edition
‘It’s to block phone calls from Nigel Farage.’
Drug test
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Ease House of Lords overcrowding
From our UK edition
‘They ought to axe hereditary peers to ease House of Lords overcrowding.’
Wednesday
I trust I can rely on your sympathy
From our UK edition
‘I trust I can rely on your sympathy.’
Wednesday
All political careers end in failure
From our UK edition
‘All political careers end in failure, but this is getting out of hand.’
Wednesday
At last – a safe seat
From our UK edition
‘At last – a safe seat.’
Wednesday
I can boycott 500 literary festivals a day
From our UK edition
‘If I put my mind to it, I can boycott 500 literary festivals a day.’
Wednesday
Venice tourist tax
From our UK edition
‘It’s €5 to get in and €50 to get out’
