Jonesy

‘It’s nothing to do with the environment – I just hate Constable.’

‘Unfortunately it turned out he was a recovering alcoholic...’

‘Your husband fought right to the end but luckily I had a scalpel.’

‘The artificial lawn could do with vacuuming.’

‘He parts one sea and we never hear the end of it.’

‘I reckon we won’t invade until Putin hears what Sue Gray has to say.’

‘It’s 2021. What were you expecting?’

‘We thought about transitioning to cleaner energy, but you just can’t beat a real fire...’

‘That’s saved me from one of my new year’s resolutions…’