Mischief, mayhem and Washington gossip. Send tips and party invites to cockburn@thespectator.com.
Campaign season for the 2022 midterms has just crowned — and with it comes the return of glossy over-the-top candidate videos. Teddy Daniels, a large Pennsylvanian, is running for a congressional seat in Scranton, Joe Biden’s backyard. He’s following in the footsteps of House candidates like Madison Cawthorn (who won), Kim Klacik and Alek Skarlatos (who didn’t) in getting the Arsenal Media Group treatment.
Underpaid and over-opinionated: Republican House staffers are not putting up with a new mask mandate. On Tuesday, the US House attending physician reinstated a draconian mask mandate amid the Delta variant's ‘rise’ — about 50 new cases per 100,000, scary stuff. The order follows the new CDC guidance which tells vaccinated and unvaccinated individuals to wear masks indoors and out. ‘For all House Office Buildings, the Hall of the House and House Committee Meetings, wearing of a well-fitted, medical grade, filtration face mask is required when an individual is in an interior space and other individuals are present,’ said Dr Brian Monahan in a memo released Tuesday. In order to enter the House chamber, lawmakers and their staff will be required to wear face coverings.
'Can We Drop a Dog Walker for Her Political Opinions?' asks a letter-writer to this week’s edition of the New York Times’s ethicist column. The writer laments that they have hired a 'reliable, responsible, and kind' person to walk the family dog. The problem? Beneath the visage of humanity, the dog walker is actually a monstrous Trump voter. Rather than stop and ponder the implications of a Trump voter being, in fact, a rather decent human being, the writer gets right to the meat of the matter: Should they fire the dog walker immediately? Kwame Anthony Appiah, the NYT’s ethicist, was relatively measured in his response. 'A manager who penalizes a regular employee for her political views is exercising workplace tyranny,' Kwame writes.
Can Trumpists still believe in ‘America First’ if they root against America in the Olympics? Yes, apparently. The US team had a rough start in the opening week of the Tokyo Olympics. For the first time in 50 years, not a single US athlete won a gold medal on day one of the Summer Games. So who was kicking our butts? That’s right, Asia. Eleven gold medals were handed out Saturday, with the first being won by Yang Qian from China for the 10-meter air rifle competition. She bested Mary Tucker, the American ranked second in the world, who ended up placing sixth. American Eli Dershwitz lost the bronze to Kim Jung-hwan of South Korea for saber despite also being No. 2 in the world.
'Hey, that’s some nice Facebook traffic you’re getting. Would be a shame if something happened to it.' That’s the tone, more or less, from a Monday NPR article 'profiling' Ben Shapiro’s phenomenally successful Daily Wire news brand. The average New York Times article on Facebook collects just under 2,000 likes, shares, and comments. The average Daily Wire link receives nearly 40,000. At the peak of the 2020 election, Daily Wire articles averaged almost 100,000 engagements. No other publication comes close. And all of this really bothers NPR. For 2,000 petulant words, NPR does everything it can to imply that the Daily Wire should be kicked off Facebook. Why? Because...because...it’s just not fair! Why do people read their articles more than ours?
Porn star Brandi Love made waves at Turning Point USA’s Student Action Summit in Tampa this weekend after the group revoked her VIP pass. Love — whose real name is Tracey Lynn Livermore — ticked off social conservatives on Twitter when she posted photos at the event with the caption, ‘It's good to be around so many young conservatives. Gives me some hope!’ https://twitter.com/brandi_love/status/1416489638592659459?s=20 Hours later, Turning Point sent Love an email notifying her that her pass had been ‘revoked’ but said she is welcome to apply for other conferences ‘in the future’. Love responded by accusing the organization of being a ‘cult’ and a ‘Trojan horse’ for organized religion.
The revolution may or may not be televised. But it will be turned into branded merch to be sold through an easy-to-use website. Because Change Takes Courage (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez™️, 2018), the war against the system will be systematically transformed into cuddly swag for internet consumers because, well, capitalism is literally killing us. Reuters reports that AOC is ‘investing heavily in her online store’ in order to fundraise and build ‘the second-term lawmaker's profile nationally.’ See folks, she ain’t grifting — she’s elevating her profile, because clearly not enough people have heard of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, even if she is the most famous congresswoman in the world.
During the Trump years, Fox News was notorious for carrying advertisements with a target audience of one. Dueling ads would denigrate or praise the nation of Qatar. Julián Castro bought time in Bedminster, New Jersey during a presidential visit to blame the president for a mass shooting in El Paso. The Lincoln Project spent millions airing its ads on Fox mostly in the hope that the president would be enraged when he saw them. Now, the New York Times is borrowing the tactic. This time, however, the one-man target is the aged-yet-apparently-immortal head of the Fox Corporation, Rupert Murdoch. For half a decade, multiple NGOs and dozens of journalists have made the destruction of Fox News, or at least the cancellation of its most high-profile jobs, a virtual full-time profession.
Cockburn’s nieces have just bundled into the kitchen, squealing about someone called Olivia Rodrigo visiting the White House tomorrow. A cursory Google search informed him that Olivia Rodrigo is the star of something called High School Musical: The Musical: The Series and the teen pop sensation behind the ungrammatical chart-topping singles 'drivers license' and 'good 4 u'. Rodrigo, 18, is heading to Washington to meet with President Biden, 78, and Dr Anthony Fauci, 80. According to a White House official, the singer will 'record videos about the importance of young people getting vaccinated, including answering important questions young people have about getting vaccinated’. good 4 her!
The circus came to Dallas this weekend with a who's-who of Adderall-ridden e-celebrities for the Texas edition of Conservative Political Action Conference. The scandalous former Olympian-turned-California gubernatorial recall candidate Caitlyn Jenner faced harassment on Saturday while making her way through the conference in a viral video. A heckler calls the transgender politician by her former name, Bruce, and shouts, 'What do you think about the stuff they're teaching schools about LGBT? Don't forget about Jesus!' 'Look at that sick freak! Why do people want a picture with him,' the man recording the video asks. 'Why do we want a picture with a tranny?
Nick Fuentes, the controversial far-right firebrand, was suspended from Twitter on Friday. Unsurprisingly, Media Matters chew toy Al Kaplan broke the news of the suspension. A Twitter spokesman, Trenton Kennedy, told the New York Times that Fuentes 'was permanently suspended for repeated violations of the Twitter Rules.’ Cockburn is annoyed by the terminology; suspension inherently means temporary. Twitter should classify it as a permanent ban. Put down the DMT and stop playing with the clockwork elves, Jack. Finish up grammar school. The spokesperson would not detail which specific rules he violated: 'This is all I can share right now — thanks for understanding.’ No problem buddy, take your time.
Which Spectator contributor will be jailed next? Taki and Michael Avenatti have both done time after bylining in these august pages — and Roger Stone only swerved his 40-month sentence by the grace of President Trump. It could be argued that The Spectator’s decision to publish Michael Avenatti was not our finest moment. The Creepy Porn Lawyer, as Tucker Carlson insisted on calling him, is not the best egg in the anti-Trump basket. But we believe in free speech, and Avenatti was eager to trash Beto O’Rourke and that’s always good idea.
Wake up, everyone! Democracy is in peril again. Blasting across Cockburn’s email feed recently was a new piece from Yasmeen Serhan for the Atlantic, titled 'The Autocrat’s Legacy.’ The piece is about the unfathomable wickedness of Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orbán. He’s the autocrat. Orbán doesn’t stick his opponents in jail or ban political parties or rig the votes in elections. He’s a much deadlier kind of authoritarian: the kind who wins elections but believes wrong things. Orbán has been the dominant political force in Hungary since 2010, when his Fidesz party dominated elections so thoroughly that they achieved a supermajority capable of passing a new constitution (which they did; replacing Hungary’s Communist-era document). Whoops, that’s 'supermajority’.
The Twinkin Project scrambled together enough donor cash to hire Democratic strategist Joe Trippi as a senior adviser, the group announced Tuesday. 'Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, or Independent political strategist, you know and have studied the work of Joe Trippi,' said Lincoln Project co-founder Reed Galen in a statement. 'Joe's legendary status in the political space and unparalleled experience innovating — indeed changing the face of modern politics — makes him an invaluable resource for our work here at the Lincoln Project.' Oh yes, Trippi's 'legendary' résumé includes managing the failed presidential campaign for former Vermont governor Howard Dean and the 2017 campaign for the now-ousted Democratic senator Doug Jones of Alabama.
Cockburn is going to get ahead of things and announce it right now: ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ is doomed. Accept it, and the pain will be lessened. Over the weekend, conservatives were piqued (as they almost always are) when the track and field athlete Gwen Berry turned her back on the American flag as the national anthem played. How could she dare sully the integrity of the women’s hammer throw in this manner? Dan Crenshaw says Berry should be booted off the Tokyo Olympic team. Ted Cruz asked why the left ‘hates America’. They should have just let it lie. Instead, the GOP has let Berry’s stunt become a multi-day controversy. And in doing so, they have sealed the anthem’s fate.
John McCain's foul-mouthed blonde scion is leaving ABC's housewife daytime program, The View. The show's token conservative firebrand, Meghan McCain, announced Thursday she would depart as a co-host at the end of the season. Cable junkies will remember McCain for her combative commentary and entertaining rows with her post-menopause colleagues. 'I'm just going to rip the bandaid off,' McCain declared. 'I am here to tell all of you, my wonderful cohorts and viewers at home: this is going to be my last season here at The View.' After four years of service, McCain revealed it was not easy to leave the show and exchanged bland girl-power pleasantries with her coworkers.
Vice President Kamala Harris’s office harbors a 'chaotic' atmosphere where staffers are treated 'like shit', according to a Politico report published Wednesday. The Beltway gossip rag cited nearly two dozen 'current and former vice presidential aides, administration officials and associates of Harris and Biden’. Many sources blame Harris and Tina Flournoy, her chief of staff and longtime consigliere, for the toxicity and dysfunction. For example, Harris's recent trip to the US-Mexico border reportedly blindsided staffers responsible for handling travel arrangements, forcing them to complete everything at the last minute. 'People are thrown under the bus from the very top, there are short fuses and it's an abusive environment,' said the one unnamed source.
Who shot Ashli Babbitt, the pro-Trump Air Force veteran who was killed by police during the January 6 riot at the US Capitol building? The American people were told that it was a Capitol Police officer who fired the fatal shot. But Cockburn has stumbled across some information that points to a different explanation. Sources close to and within the intelligence community tell Cockburn that Babbitt was actually shot by a member of then-vice president Mike Pence's protective detail. The VP's detail, of course, is provided by US Secret Service, not the Capitol Police. One person asserted to Cockburn over drinks in DC that this is 'basically an open secret' in the intelligence community.
Mega-jacked CNN host Chris Cuomo showed off his biceps on Twitter after a troll insulted his crown jewels. The hoopla started Monday morning when an account with only 12 followers enraged the younger Cuomo after claiming the CNN host broke his arm by pleasuring himself. 'That how this happened?! Hahahaha. Come on, baby, dont hate - facilitate. You can do better than this petty bs,' Cuomo said in a tweet, accompanied by a picture of his veiny limb. https://twitter.com/ChrisCuomo/status/1409517284465557518?s=20 Conservative Twitter responded with a litany of penis jokes and pearl-clutching. 'It's too early on a Monday for this, Chris,' the Daily Caller tweeted. NewsBusters’s Nicholas Fondacaro responded, 'It's from stroking your own "ego.
Former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin was sentenced to over 22 years in prison by Judge Peter Cahill on Friday for the murder of George Floyd. Prosecutors had asked the imposing punishment be closer to 30 years. State guidelines recommend a 12-and-a-half-year sentence for a first-time offender. Cahill went beyond the guidelines, citing Chauvin’s ‘abuse of a position of trust and authority and also the particular cruelty’ to Floyd. A 22-year sentence tends to be associated with more grizzly offenders. Last year, 17-year-old Jered Ohsman was sentenced as an adult by a Hennepin County District Court — the same court that sentenced Chauvin — for killing 39-year-old Steven Markey during a botched robbery.
