Cockburn, Author at The Spectator

Friday

7 July 2023

Cockburn

Latest New York Post Hunter ‘exclusive’ raises more questions than answers

From our US edition

The New York Post was censored by Twitter and Facebook after breaking the Hunter Biden laptop story in October 2020, despite the fact that the story was true and not, as some claimed, “Russian disinformation.” Now the Post is doubling down in exposing what the newspaper calls “the Biden family criminal enterprise” with an exclusive, but, as far as Cockburn can tell, unsubstantiated video of Gal Luft, whom the Post asserts is “a key would-be witness on Biden family corruption.

Cockburn

How movie execs are ruining comedies

From our US edition

Adam Devine, the star of the hit television series Workaholics and new Netflix movie The Out-Laws, recently gave some insight as to why comedies are hardly ever made by movie studios anymore. Devine appeared on the most recent episode of comedian Theo Von's podcast, This Past Weekend, where the pair discussed the downfall of comedy in movies. Devine, who also appeared in the Pitch Perfect series, surmised that high-budget superhero movies made comedies and other low-budget films less attractive to viewers spending money on theater tickets. He and Von also pointed out how movie executives try to force political and moral messages into their content — and that there is no longer "funny for funny's sake." "There's no hidden message," Devine said of his new movie.

Cockburn

Can robots replace journalists?

From our US edition

The case against Kamala’s coke The latest twist in the White House cocaine saga sees NBC News clarify that the substance was found in an entrance area “near where some vehicles, like the vice president’s limo or SUV, park.” But Cockburn isn’t convinced of Kamala’s credibility as a possible culprit. Just listen to the Veep at the Essence Festival this week: https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/1677092627567595521 Well, I think culture is... it is a reflection of our moment in our time. Right. And... and... and... present culture is the way we express how we’re feeling about the moment. And... and we should always find times to express how we feel about the moment. That is a reflection of joy because, ev- you know. It comes in the morning (laugh).

Wednesday

5 July 2023

Cockburn

Who left their cocaine at the White House?

From our US edition

After party at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? The New York Post reported Tuesday morning that a substance found in the White House’s West Wing this weekend tested positive for cocaine. Cockburn, who won't complain about this massive win for federal drug legalization, only wants to know who would leave such an expensive substance at the White House. It's a total mystery. Secret service agents found the white powder during a routine round of the White House on Sunday evening while President Biden and his family were away at Camp David. The complex was evacuated at 8:45 p.m. as fire and emergency crews were brought in to investigate the substance. “We have a yellow bar stating cocaine hydrochloride,” a DC firefighter stated in a radio communication at 8:49 p.m. Sunday.

Cockburn

Bill de Blasio’s wince-inducing separation announcement

From our US edition

Has Bill de Blasio become Bill de Blasé? Details regarding the former New York City mayor’s so-called “non-divorce” from Chirlane McCray, his lesbian wife of twenty-seven years, seem weird. For instance, their “trial separation” involves them continuing to live in the same house while they date other people. Still, compared to the headline-grabbing track record of de Blasio’s life, this latest revelation made Cockburn yawn. Even the way the couple arrived at the decision, “after another stale Saturday night of binge-watching television at their Brooklyn home,” is disappointingly run-of-the-mill.

Monday

3 July 2023

Cockburn

NPR says Asian Americans should love affirmative action

From our US edition

NPR thinks Asian Americans should stand against the Supreme Court’s ruling on affirmative action whether they like it or not. In an article published Sunday, NPR’s race and identity correspondent Sandhya Dirks argued that white conservative activists have used affirmative action to divide Asians from other communities of color for far too long. In fact, Asian students have nothing to lose by embracing the practice. Per the article, Asian Americans became proxies for white privilege when affirmative action lawsuits brought by white students failed in 2013. To beat the legal system, Edward Blum, the head of Students for Fair Admissions, approached Asian students who he claimed had been hurt by biased college admissions.

Cockburn

Ghislaine Maxwell is a prison Karen

From our US edition

You can take the girl out of high society but you can’t take the high society out of the girl — even if you throw her in a Tallahassee prison. According to a report in the Daily Mail, convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell has filed a whopping 400 complaints since arriving at the federal prison in July. "Max is the prison Karen. She can file a grievance over anything — she has over 400 of them," a source told the Mail. "She complains about the food, the bedding, when they cancel temple because of bad weather or are late setting up her legal calls." It was also reported that the prison's vegan menu was “insufficient” for Maxwell’s needs.

Friday

30 June 2023

Cockburn

Nikole Hannah-Jones almost goes back to work

From our US edition

Nikole Hannah-Jones, author of the "1619 Project”, almost brought herself to lift a finger in defense of affirmative action — almost. She took to Twitter on Thursday to denounce the recent Supreme Court ruling striking down affirmative action. The anger was not strong enough, though, to make it worth picking up the pen. Hannah-Jones tweeted: “Was going to write an essay about it, but why even bother. (Also, Clarence Thomas is actually irrelevant here. So thanks but no thanks)” The Wall Street Journal’s new editor-in-chief has criticized the work ethic of the paper’s staff, but clearly the New York Times is not much better — Hannah-Jones wrote her last piece for the paper in February 2023, which itself was the first in two years.

Cockburn

Kamala Harris shares life-changing hair secrets

From our US edition

Although he has been a harsh critic in the past, Cockburn would like to thank fashion icon and hair-game legend Kamala Harris for teaching him the key to achieving the perfect silk press. While Cockburn must admit he wasn’t familiar with the hairstyling technique, he doesn’t know how he lived without it for so long. To quote People magazine, it had him screaming “queen.” The vice president shared her beauty secrets on an episode of Keke Palmer’s podcast Baby, This Is Keke Palmer on Tuesday. The two women spent most of the interview tackling America’s maternal healthcare crisis before turning to fun girl-talk which included Harris’s hair care routine.

Cockburn

Trans women take over DC softball

From our US edition

It’s not just women’s high school and college sports that need to be protected from biological men, apparently. The DC intramural softball circuit has become another battleground for “trans rights.” Cockburn has learned that Democratic and progressive co-ed teams are skirting league rules regarding how many women must play in each game by filling their spots with trans women — i.e. those born as males. The Center for American Progress, a left-wing think tank, fielded an over-six-foot trans woman in a recent game against a conservative media outlet. Some players on the team said that it didn’t matter much because the person was not very good at softball, while others got the impression that he/she was intentionally playing poorly to avoid criticism.

Thursday

29 June 2023

Cockburn

Troubled artist Hunter Biden uses paintings to settle paternity suit with former stripper

From our US edition

Hunter Biden has settled his long-running child support case in Arkansas. The president’s son has reached an agreement with Lunden Roberts, the mother of his illegitimate daughter Navy, that involves giving some of his own paintings to her. This makes Cockburn ask, hasn’t that child been through enough? Per the settlement: "Defendant additionally agrees that he shall assign to the child [redacted] of his paintings over the next [redacted] which shall vary in size with a minimum size of 24x24. The child shall select the painting which shall either be sent to the child or sent to a gallery designated by Lunden Roberts. The child shall select the painting which shall either be sent to the child or sent to a gallery designated by Lunden Roberts.

Cockburn

Bill Gates’s sinister job interviews

From our US edition

Interviews are often tough — but imagine instead of being asked about your hobbies or what you’ll bring to the team, you’re instead quizzed on whether you’ve ever had extramarital affairs, what kind of porn you watch or if you had naked pictures of yourself on your phone. Cockburn would be out of the running, that’s for sure. These were the questions asked to women that interviewed to work at billionaire Bill Gates’s private office. The extensive screening process included being questioned by a security firm about their sexual past, previous drug use and other personal things in case they were vulnerable to blackmail. That old chestnut!

Wednesday

28 June 2023

Cockburn

Trump talked about ‘what it might be like to have sex’ with Ivanka, claims ‘Anonymous’ NYT op-ed writer

From our US edition

Miles Taylor, CNN’s favorite mid-management White House bureaucrat, is back with hot new gossip on Donald Trump. The "Anonymous" author of the scathing 2018 New York Times op-ed about the former president is releasing his second book next month that promises to be both his juiciest work yet and an action novel — yep, you heard that right. Cockburn readily admits that Taylor is not a reliable source nor is he a real-life spy, but heck, the book will be too entertaining to pass up. Among the most shocking bombshells in Blowback: A Warning to Save Democracy from the Next Trump is the former president’s allegedly sexist behavior toward female staff, including lewd comments made about his eldest daughter.

Cockburn

Jada Pinkett Smith got her family into psychedelics

From our US edition

Cockburn doesn’t have any acknowledged children, but if he did, he’d like to think that he wouldn’t give them drugs. Any normal parent that gave their kids drugs would end up with a social worker, or potentially prison time. But Jada Pinkett Smith, wife of Will, isn't just any old mother. Her son Jaden Smith recently let slip that his mom was the reason for their family’s psychedelic drug usage. “I think it was my mom, actually, that was really the first one to make that step for the family,” the rapper said at the Psychedelic Science conference in Denver this week, as reported by USA Today. He added, “It was just her for a really, really long time and then eventually it just trickled and evolved and everybody found it in their own ways.

Tuesday

27 June 2023

Cockburn

Why did Epstein kill himself? Negligent guards…

From our US edition

It’s fun to conspire about the mysterious death of Jeffrey Epstein — or, at least, Cockburn has whiled away several hours doing so. Was it ordered by the Queen? Bill Gates? The Clintons? Did Ghislaine Maxwell stick a pin straight through the heart of an Epstein-shaped voodoo doll? It’s almost a shame that we now know the fault lies with something as mundane as negligent prison guards. The Justice Department’s watchdog announced Tuesday that a “combination of negligence, misconduct and outright job performance failures” by the Federal Bureau of Prisons and workers at its New York City jail allowed for the disgraced financier to take his own life in August 2019, finding no evidence of foul play.

Cockburn

Is Fox News self-immolating?

From our US edition

Fox News has announced its new primetime lineup post-Tucker Carlson: Jesse Watters will take over the coveted 8 p.m. ET slot vacated by Tucker, while Laura Ingraham is moving from 10 p.m. to the 7 p.m. hour. Sean Hannity will stay in his spot at 9 p.m., and Greg Gutfeld is slotted forward an hour to 10 p.m. The shuffle is an attempt by executives to resuscitate the network after the unceremonious firing of its top host, Tucker Carlson, which led several loyal viewers to jump ship.

Cockburn

Presidential hopeful Francis Suarez: ‘What’s a Uighur?’

From our US edition

Miami mayor Francis X. Suarez should pick Gary “Aleppo” Johnson for his 2024 running mate. After a revealing interview on The Hugh Hewitt Show Tuesday morning, it seems the two are both woefully unaware of foreign policy. Suarez was taking a hardline against China when Hewitt asked him if he would make the Uighurs a part of his campaign. “What — the what, what's a Uighur?” Suarez responded, parroting Johnson’s famous “What is Aleppo?” gaffe during the 2016 election. https://twitter.com/therecount/status/1673687808282697728 After Hewitt scolded the presidential hopeful for his ignorance, Suarez promised, “I’ll look at — what’d you call it, a 'Weeble?’” Cockburn can’t help but think Suarez’s blunder is a bit worse than Johnson.

Cockburn

Elon Musk: innovator, CEO, ket head

From our US edition

What’s your poison? All of the greatest minds have one. Freud loved cocaine, Charles Dickens dabbled with opium, Steve Jobs once claimed that LSD was “one of the two or three most important things I have done in life.” It turns out that Elon Musk’s drug of choice is ketamine, a controlled substance usually reserved for tranquilizing horses. Elon Musk “microdoses” the substance, according to the Wall Street Journal. “The CEO has told people he microdoses ketamine for depression, and he also takes full doses of ketamine at parties, according to the people who have witnessed his drug use and others who have direct knowledge of it,” the report says.

Monday

26 June 2023

Cockburn

‘Biden should own his old age’ and other bad Jeffrey Katzenberg ideas

From our US edition

Seventy-two-year-old entertainment mogul and campaign advisor Jeffrey Katzenberg has some sage advice for President Biden: eighty is the new sixty. In the Wall Street Journal, Katzenberg encouraged Biden to “own” his age and tout his longevity and wisdom as assets. Katzenberg pointed to Harrison Ford and Mick Jagger, similarly geriatric celebrities who still make splashes in their industries, as style models for Biden. Cockburn can’t help but think Katzenberg is onto something here. Imagine: Joe Biden and the Trials of Burisma — that's sure to help with the youth vote. And as long as there aren’t any sandbags present, Biden could do well to launch a stadium tour when he hits the campaign trail.

Cockburn

Is Amber Heard staging a subtle comeback?

From our US edition

In just one short year, Amber Heard has transformed from arguably the most hated woman on the planet to some kind of new and improved Spanish celebrity. Amber moved to Madrid months after she was sued by her ex-husband, Johnny Depp, for defamation. In a viral TikTok video, Heard answers questions from reporters, saying in Spanish, "I love Spain so much." When they asked if she plans on staying, she replied, "Yes, I hope so. Yes, I love living here." After being asked if she has movie projects on the horizon, she says yes and adds, "I move on. That's life." It turns out that exiling yourself to a new country for privacy can be an effective PR strategy. Take note, Harry and Meghan.