Cockburn

Trash talk Who gets to call themselves MAGA these days, anyway? Politico Playbook declared this weekend that “MAGA is whatever Trump decides it will be” – the administration’s go-to defense when the President does something the further-right side of his base doesn’t care for, such as dispatching military support to Ukraine, say, or running interference for the Ghost of Jeffrey Epstein. Heading into the midterms – and we’re past the halfway point of 2025, so we are heading into the midterms – Republican candidates up and down the country are already attempting to bill themselves as the most “MAGA” in the field, in hope of garnering a Trump endorsement that could see them win office.

Fumbled… As Texas digs out from last weekend’s catastrophic flooding, the state’s leaders are using the only metaphor its residents understand – football – to try and shift blame. Texas Governor Greg Abbott, a great protector of the Republican establishment, said at a Tuesday press conference, “Every football team makes mistakes. The losing teams are the ones that try to point out who is to blame. The championship teams are the ones that say ‘Don’t worry about it, man. We got this. We’re going to make sure that we go score again and then we’re going to win this game.’” But the “losing team,” in this case, appears to be the Republican-run Kerr County, which did not have a proper flood warning system in place.

A great travel miracle has occurred – and Cockburn, who flies frequently and disgruntledly, couldn’t be more thrilled. The TSA, as of either yesterday or very, very soon, will no longer require airline passengers to remove their shoes when going through security. Shoes on/shoes off has been the bane of every commercial airline passenger’s existence since British terrorist Richard Reid attempted to detonate his shoe bomb on a flight from Paris to Miami in December 2001. Since then, it’s been federal policy to X-ray your Nikes and, repulsively, your flip-flops. Now either that threat has passed – or maybe it wasn’t ever that much of a threat. Regardless, we are free. Cockburn would like to see some other flying experience changes to accompany this one.

Deport Elon Musk? “Without subsidies, Elon would probably have to close up shop and head back home to South Africa,” President Trump lightly threatened on Truth Social close to midnight. But Musk, who is proposing the formation of a new “America party” in reaction to Republicans passing the Big, Beautiful Bill this week, doesn’t seem to really care about electric vehicle subsidies. His X feed is an unending stream of warnings about the runaway national debt and promises to fund the re-election campaign of gadfly Congressman Thomas Massie of Kentucky. But Daddy Trump isn’t playing nice. This morning on the White House lawn where he always unleashes his punchiest quotes, Trump said, “We might have to put DoGE on Elon. You know what DoGE is?

President Trump and Congressman Thomas Massie are in a somewhat peculiar standoff. The President takes issue with Massie’s opposition to bombing Iran and to the Big, Beautiful Bill. In an over 300-word Truth Social tirade, Sunday, Trump called Massie a “pathetic LOSER,” “lazy,” “grandstanding,” “weak” and “ineffective.” Massie has remained relatively calm. On Monday, he posted a screenshot of Trump’s Truth Social jabs alongside a video of one of the national debt trackers he designed. “I’m going to program my debt badge to display the number of milliseconds that have elapsed since @realDonaldTrump has tweeted at me last,” he wrote. But it’s not just Trump who is targeting Massie’s seat.

You don’t mess with the Zohran Here in the capital, the President has been doing his utmost to wrangle Israel and the Islamic Republic of Iran into a ceasefire neither government seems to want. It’s... not going great. As he departed for the NATO summit at the Hague, Trump said of the conflict: “We basically have two countries that have been fighting so long and so hard that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.” Meanwhile on the Hill, senators are poring over the Big, Beautiful Bill to see if they can whip up a version of it they’re willing to pass by July 4. But Cockburn finds himself looking north to the Big Apple – and wondering whether the mayoral primary could offer signs of life for the Democratic party.

What do you want to be when you grow up? A pilot? A firefighter? An ICE agent? Since the explosion of the LA riots,  the online gaming platform Roblox has seen kids “role-play as ICE agents” and anti-ICE protesters. Despite Cockburn’s doubts, this is considered “fun.” Internet scholar Taylor Lorenz explained to Cockburn: “Roblox has become like this metaverse where kids and young people go to sort of mimic real-world events. They role-play as teachers, or they have a family.” It’s just like The Sims, but with round-ups and deportations. It seems the game is mimicking real life: just like the protests in California became violent, so did the simulated ones.