Tea

A trip to Fortnum’s turned me into an expert present-giver

I had only been to Fortnum & Mason once before. The first time I went, I wasn’t sure what I was getting in to. I remember that the distinct, pale eau-de-nil (mint green) exterior – its signature color – was framed by cream trim and Georgian sash windows stacked neatly across several stories. It was charming and slightly whimsical, like a confectioner’s box scaled up to building size. My maiden voyage was with the British skateboarder and artist Blondey McCoy, who excitedly led my wife around the hallowed halls as an unofficial tour guide during the bustling Christmas season last year, sporting an infectious Cheshire-cat grin. I was jetlagged and generally not festive, but the energy was palpable. I began to turn from a Scrooge into a believer.

fortnum

In search of the quintessentially British afternoon tea

It is a strange coincidence that both my sister and I, born and raised in Scotland, have married Americans. I live in New York. Lily lives in Nebraska. But we were both in our mother country over the summer visiting family and keen to make the most of our British culinary tradition. There is more to miss than you’d think. Diluting juice, which the English call “squash,” fruit flavoring added to water. A Sunday carvery, roasted meat and potatoes, with gravy and vegetables, complete with Yorkshire pudding. Fish and chips. Real chocolate. Decent Indian food. Breakfast cereal not coated in fructose. Tea worthy of the name. And above all, freshly baked scones. Americans may think they have scones rhyming with “stones.

tea

A Christmas gift guide for her

That damn month is here again. The one where I commit to a new part-time job, my regular "to-do" list punctuated with gift research. But not researching what to buy my loved ones, you understand. Researching what they can buy me. The panicked phone calls started in mid-November. “Darling, have you thought about what you’d like for Christmas? We’d really like to get it all out of the way as soon as possible.” “Babe, what am I buying you for Christmas?” “SOS. Grandma wants to know how much money to put in your card.” I know. An itemized list isn’t really in the spirit of things. But it makes them happy, so I gave up on that line of argument circa 2014. And hey, at least I can give you a few ideas while I’m at it.

gift guide